Question for the girls - weight

LegacyUser

Just out of curiousity, how important is it for a guy to be in good shape? I have always carried a bit of weight, every now and again I'll try to go to the gym, but this usually lasts about 2 months before old habits kick in and I'm back to square one again. A combination of working long hours, and general laziness doesn't help either. I am not particularly sporty, and to be honest the only reason I go in the first instance is to look better. Although the results never materialise.

Thoughts anyone?

LegacyUser

I'm a guy but I'd say the most unattractive thing to women about being out of shape is not the appearance but what it says about your character.

Being out of shape indicates lack of self respect, determination, will power, self restraint and motivation for life.

Cuddlesworth

Unreg m81 wrote: »

I have always carried a bit of weight

What's a bit of weight?

LegacyUser

It's a personal thing to be honest.

I find men that are fit attractive, probably because I try to stay fit and healthy myself but I know lots of girls who like men with a little bit of weight, and I know some that just don't care either way. Having said that there have been times when I've been attracted to someone purely because they have such a great personality!!

It's not a big deal unless you are completely obese...

shellyboo

For me, not important. But then I'm in crap shape myself

LegacyUser

Personally I like men who are a bit on the bigger side. I am not attracted to skinny men. Depends what you mean by a bit of weight though - if you are 20 stone from a health perspective need to lose some but a stone or two is not the end of the world. For me anyway.

jessbeth

I know this is going to make me sound like a horrible person but I'm just being honest and you can't help how you feel. I find it unattractive. That's not saying there's anything wrong with the person and that they can't be wonderful, I just find an over weight male unattractive. Sorry.

Beau

Unreg m81 wrote: »

Just out of curiousity, how important is it for a guy to be in good shape? I have always carried a bit of weight, every now and again I'll try to go to the gym, but this usually lasts about 2 months before old habits kick in and I'm back to square one again. A combination of working long hours, and general laziness doesn't help either. I am not particularly sporty, and to be honest the only reason I go in the first instance is to look better. Although the results never materialise.

Thoughts anyone?

Not a girl, but laziness and a person that gives up isn't attractive. Looks aren't that important but it still matters and if you achieve your goals you'll feel better about yourself and you'll be more confident. Also a "bit of weight" can give off such unattractive personality traits like laziness and whatever else.

The results never materialize because 1. you don't keep it up long enough 2. I can assume you are not doing the right things when you get there. Google Starting Strength and get over to the Fitness forum for information and help. With SS you build on what you on previous workouts making it competitive with yourself, see it as your sport. The results will happen if you stick at it and clean up your diet.

username123

It all depends on whether or not it makes you look unhealthy.
Ive known guys who carried a little extra weight but because they had an overall big build and looked like big strong healthy lads they got away with it.

Then again an out of shape guy with skinny arms and legs and a bulging belly is not attractive.

Where you carry the weight, how you carry it, and whether or not it affects your overall health is far more important.

What do you mean by 'a bit of weight'?

LegacyUser

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

What's a bit of weight?

I'm 5 foot 9, 12 and a half stone. Not obese or anything, just not in shape.

Thanks for the views, getting some knowledge on the matter might help, always felt like I was going nowhere which is one of the reasons why I stopped, the other being long hours at work. Also, could never seem to give up my weekends, which obviously isn't going to help.

LegacyUser

I prefer men with a bit of meat on their bones. Something to grab onto if you will! The only thing I will say is that if you aren't confident about yourself at your current weight, girls will spot that and it can be a turn off. Someone who is constantly being negative about himself is not only unattractive but irritating. I have known some fairly heavy men who were attractive because they were confident and had great personalities.
On the other hand, I have met some really gorgeous men who had no personality and once I got to know them over time they lost their physical appeal.

liah

I've never really been bothered about appearances, personally. As long as there's a good, kind, big-hearted personality behind it all, and maybe one redeeming thing like nice eyes or a great smile or something. But even then, I always find something attractive about the person I'm with, regardless of what they weigh or how they look.

I wouldn't worry about it. Don't do something just to attract girls. Do things to make yourself happy and feel better. Eventually you'll just find someone who likes you how you are, chubby or not, so no worries hey.

cantdecide

Unreg m81 wrote: »

I'm 5 foot 9, 12 and a half stone. Not obese or anything, just not in shape.

Thanks for the views, getting some knowledge on the matter might help, always felt like I was going nowhere which is one of the reasons why I stopped, the other being long hours at work. Also, could never seem to give up my weekends, which obviously isn't going to help.

I'm a bloke but your problem isn't a major one to be fair. You could probably get on top of things if you apply just some effort.

You don't have to turn into a body builder but some simple exercise should be more than enough to turn teh tide for you. Make a little time and take advantage of the fact that spring is in the air and have some fun- it doesn't have to be a chore. If anything- just look at your diet.

Cuddlesworth

Unreg m81 wrote: »

I'm 5 foot 9, 12 and a half stone. Not obese or anything, just not in shape.

At that weight very few women would have a problem with it. If you are still concious about it a proper change in the food and quantities you eat could help you lose a lot of weight over a few months. The gym would speed things up but its not a necessity.

cantdecide

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm a guy but I'd say the most unattractive thing to women about being out of shape is not the appearance but what it says about your character.

Being out of shape indicates lack of self respect, determination, will power, self restraint and motivation for life.

There's a shred of truth but I would add that this is a bit of a slightly extreme view. Humans come in all shapes and sizes and not everyone who is overweight is so because they're lazy. No more than it's true that all skinny people are highly motivated dynamos.

It's also true that how an individual 'wears' their weight is a lot to do with it.

username123

cantdecide wrote: »

It's also true that how an individual 'wears' their weight is a lot to do with it.

+1

LegacyUser

Unreg m81 wrote: »

I'm 5 foot 9, 12 and a half stone. Not obese or anything, just not in shape.

Thanks for the views, getting some knowledge on the matter might help, always felt like I was going nowhere which is one of the reasons why I stopped, the other being long hours at work. Also, could never seem to give up my weekends, which obviously isn't going to help.

Am that sounds pretty much ok, go for a jog once or twice a week & cut out a couple of snacks & you'll tone up in no time

Arcee

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm a guy but I'd say the most unattractive thing to women about being out of shape is not the appearance but what it says about your character.

Being out of shape indicates lack of self respect, determination, will power, self restraint and motivation for life.

I'm a girl and I've happily gone out with guys carrying some extra weight in the past. However,the above poster said it best - if the extra weight is due to an unhealthy, sedantry lifestyle rather than anything else then that's what's unnatractive. If you're a happy, motivated person who at least tries to look after themselves (even if you lapse once in a while), that's what will make you attractive.

Girls like 2 types of guys. Skinny guys and buff guys.

ibarelycare

Rojomcdojo wrote: »

Hot girls like 2 types of guys. Skinny guys and buff guys. Unless you're rich you need to get in shape. Or else settle for an average looking girl..

Eh where is your research for this? Personally (and the same goes for the large majority of my girl friends) a guy carrying "a bit of weight" is MUCH more attractive than a skinny guy. I actually think guys who are a few pounds overweight look healthier than skinny guys.

Also, the OP might not be as shallow as you and may actually not be too bothered if they have to "settle" for an "average looking girl" :rolleyes:

ibarelycare

Rojomcdojo wrote: »

Girls like 2 types of guys. Skinny guys and buff guys.

Oh you edited your post quickly :rolleyes:

beth-lou

That all depends on the girl. Some like really buff guys, some like cuddly guys and some don't have a preference.

Personally I don't have a preference, but I do like something to cuddle. I would be turned off a guy who was overly obsessed about his looks or weight. I don't like vain men. A man with a healthy attitude to food and excerise is nice, but when it becomes a distraction it's very unattractive.

Your height and weight sound ok to me. Maybe try to do something just to keep yourself active and healthy, but please don't put yourself down and get all negative about your body. There's a lot more to attraction than the body shape. Personality and demeanor are way ahead than a nice little pot belly to snuggle into.

beth-lou

Rojomcdojo wrote: »

Girls like 2 types of guys. Skinny guys and buff guys.

I think that should read as follows:
Some girls like 2 types of guys......blah, blah...you need a big fat wallet...yadda, yada.....

I certainly don't fall into that category, nor most of the women I know.

I'm presuming he's as disinterested in that personality type as they would be in him. I'd hope so anyway.

LegacyUser

Rojomcdojo wrote: »

Girls like 2 types of guys. Skinny guys and buff guys.

Not true!!! And this is coming from a "Hot" girl!!(even if I do say so myself) Bit of weight is much more attractive than skinny

ibarelycare

ibarelycare wrote: »

Oh you edited your post quickly :rolleyes:

Yeah it was a bit too....real. :pac:

It's true. Look around you at the good looking girls in a club or pub. They're always with guys who look like they actually care about how they look. It's fine if you're not into that, nothing wrong with not conforming.. But in general, from what I've seen of people I don't know, friends, girls I've gone out with who've told me what they like, it's true.

Annie Bananie

Personally I do not care about weight. Im a bit big myself and I would want my guy to be bigger then me most definetly!

To me its all about confident, as long as the guy do not have a bad self esteem, I would have no problem. Skinny or big, bad self esteem is unattractive to me.

We are all different and different things attract us. So you will get some answers where it says "yes it matters" and some "no it does not matter".

Overheal

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm a guy but I'd say the most unattractive thing to women about being out of shape is not the appearance but what it says about your character.

Being out of shape indicates lack of self respect, determination, will power, self restraint and motivation for life.

At the same time physical fitness can indicate one neurotic sonnofabitch:



Its not all black and white. A chubby guy who knows how to handle himself might be a well motivated pastry chef for all you know at face value. Someone might have a huge ass if they sit at a PC all day routing 911 calls. Etcetera.

Body fat is how I keep my awesomeness from blinding other people and melting their brains with jealousy.