One for the ladies

LegacyUser

i was going out with a girl for 6 years when one day she unexpectedly broke up with me. she was 23 when we broke up. She said the relationship wasnt working, i wasnt really her type and that she'd met someone else, i know she found the breakup difficult at the time though. That was 3 years ago and ive never really been able to move on. I havent spoken to her for almost 2.5 years and just blanked her the few times ive seen her out although she made no great effort to talk to me either. any relationship ive had since just didnt compare. ive heard the whole plenty more fish in the sea, time is a great healer and all that but after 3 years im still gutted by it.

just want to know if there's any point in getting in contact with her again in the hope of getting back what we had or am i grasping at straws.

Overheal

Only to get some closure, maybe. You have a wet snowball's chance in hell of rekindling the relationship.

Monkey61

It is highly unlikely that you will get back together. Of course there is a chance that you might, but if you approach her from that specific angle it will never work.

However, for the sake of closure I am a big fan of meeting up with exes. I had a horrible break up with my very first girlfriend and spent the following three years thinking of her constantly as nobody could compare. I eventually got her number and we met up. At the end of lunch she apologised to me for hurting me and it was actually like the weight of three years misery was lifted off my shoulders. It made a huge difference to me as I could finally move on. That was a couple of years ago and even though it took a long while after that we are now really good friends and I'm really glad to have her in my life. Our good friendship now has made up for all the pain and upset and regrets of the time.

Annie Bananie

I know where you are coming from, cause Ive been there myself. Took me a little over 3 years to get over an old boyfriend of mine. I really did not think I would ever love someone else again. I had some small relationships, but they ended fairly soon.

But then one day I just met this guy that made me forget all about my ex. Now this is a few relationships back in time, but I never thought of him again. Im sorry, but I think you just have to wait it out, not much else you can do.

Might be a good idea as the other suggested to meet up for closure, but I seriously doubt getting back together is what is gonna happen.

No matter what, I wish you best of luck! And easy to say (but I know it will) but hang in there! It will pass!

King of Kings

everybody is different but in my experience you don't "get" closure. Its not an exam you pass and are suddenly clear of your ex. You "attain" closure and there is a big difference.

You need to enjoy your life - have fun, do werid and wonderful stuff, have relations but don't compare them to your ex and over time you'll think less and less about her.

Firetrap

I think you're grasping at straws. Your ex would not have broken up with you if she thought you were Mr Right. Look again at what she said - the relationship wasn't working, you weren't her type and she'd met someone else. If you're honest, do you really think that if you got together again, that that nagging fear that she'd break up with you again wouldn't be in the back of your mind?

Crannog

So sorry that you are still heartbroken after three years.

If you are not able to move on by yourself please seriously think about seeing a counsellor who will help you to grieve the loss of this relationship. Counsellors understand that the loss of a love is similar to a death and will help you to move on.

Good luck.