Another best friend problem

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this!!

Had a really bad break up with my ex. Off about 3 months and we are till at one another, I know its childish and silly. Basically she has moved on, she meet on a guy on the internet dating site and seems to be getting on with him, it’s a long distance relationship so I don’t ever see her around town.

So anyway I lost all my friends because of this girl because she would not let me see them. I only had one friend during all that time and she was very good to me. This girl is a very attractive girl and being honest when I was struggling to cum with my ex id think of this girl to cum. So I know this girl about 10 to 12 years and we have been best friends, we kissed once when we were about 18 and left it at that. Before my ex came along she used to always say to me that if she was still single by 30 (im 24 she is 26) she wanted to marry me! I just thought it was drink talk, even when I was out wit her and my ex would be gone to the jacks she would be over with her hand in my back pocket. Been honest it’s the kind of girl she is, very open so I think nothing of it.

So anyway since the New Year I have been thinking about asking her out. One huge problem arrived a few weeks ago when her mother got cancer, she has only been given a matter of months to live and the poor girl is in a mess. I have been texting her n that trying to cheer her up and she would answer about 1 in 3 texts. With all this I dunno whether it’s a good time to ask her out!! I know she is doing nothing tomorrow night so I was half tempted to ask her out for dinner and a few drinks for old times sake and just to make her smile and leave her problems behind for one night, I know she will prob refuse but do ya think I should persist and her sister knows I like her and should I ask her to have a little chat with her. Like it could lead to a good night or a very emotional night for her.


All your opinions would be greatly appreciated

cantdecide

Unregistered wrote: »

...her mother got cancer, she has only been given a matter of months to live and the poor girl is in a mess...

Seriously bad idea to pursue her now. Try and be there for her and park your feelings for her. Romance is the last thing she will have on her mind I'm sure....

Das Kitty

By all means ask her out for a drink or a meal, but really trying something on with her mother dying would be a very bad idea.

All you can do for now is be there for her, and later things will look after themselves (from what you say she seems to be into you and you into her).

I'd tread very carefully if she were to try it on with you too though, you don't want her going to you for comfort and then just associating sex with you with the death of her mother.

If you actually love her, even if just as a friend, this will be enough for you whilst she is going through this horrible horrible time.

Katgurl

Well you've got some ground to make up on the friendship front before you get into anything else.

My advice is to phone her not text. Tell her straight out that you're sorry you lost contact & you miss her & are sorry to hear about her mum etc etc.

If its all going well, ask her if she has plans for Sat & you'd love to hang out just the two of you. Go for a meal, movie or whatever. See how all that goes before you go headlong into something romantic.



Best of luck with it.

(Can i just say though that the bit about thinking about her while you were with your girlfriend is gack - i'm presuming by your wording this was fairly regular. Just as well ex has somebody else now. )

LegacyUser

when I was out wit her and my ex would be gone to the jacks she would be over with her hand in my back pocket

She sounds very sly OP, Id give her a wide berth.

shellyboo

Unregistered wrote: »

This girl is a very attractive girl and being honest when I was struggling to cum with my ex id think of this girl to cum.

Oh my GOD. That's... really sad. For everyone involved. Anyway!

Unregistered wrote: »

I know she is doing nothing tomorrow night so I was half tempted to ask her out for dinner and a few drinks for old times sake and just to make her smile and leave her problems behind for one night

This is a really, really lovely idea... I think you should definitely do that.

But I don't think you can really be making any moves on her with her Mum being ill... it's a really hard and emotional time for her, so best just to be there for her as a good friend. When she's in a better place, you can make a move - but you're going to have to bide your time.

LegacyUser

shellyboo wrote: »

Oh my GOD. That's... really sad. For everyone involved. Anyway!




This is a really, really lovely idea... I think you should definitely do that.

But I don't think you can really be making any moves on her with her Mum being ill... it's a really hard and emotional time for her, so best just to be there for her as a good friend. When she's in a better place, you can make a move - but you're going to have to bide your time.

OP here

well thats what happened when he had sex, just telling the truth and i know its very sad.

rang her there but no answer, prob ring her again later but if there is no answer then i will leave it be, dont want to be putting too much pressure on her at all

Crash Bang Wall

Bring her 4 a meal or a few drinks tomorrow nite, but not as a date, just to be there for her. Dont mention your feelings 4 her at all just tell her ur there for her etc etc, shoulder to cry on and all that

LegacyUser

OP here

dinner and drinks accepted!!

acid.rain

you lost all your friends cuz of this girl? you must not have had very good friends. i say, if you had a life before this girl, go back to it. if these people are really your friends, then they'd probably forgive you

SarahSassy

Unregistered wrote: »

So anyway I lost all my friends because of this girl because she would not let me see them.

By the way this is BS. She can chinge and complain but unless she stops you leave the house every minute of every day she can make you lose you friends. You were stupid to let this happen.

LegacyUser

dinner went well last night!!

kissed and actually slept together but didnt get down to the real naughty stuff for her monthly reasons!!

we talked and we are going to take things slowly!!