Feel like I'm running out of time.

LegacyUser

I met a girl two months ago. We were drunk and hooked up. Drink made me sort of under-perform when we had sex. Didn't worry too much about it, was drunk after all.
We continued to meet up, spend time together. We text, talk during the weeks quite a bit. Next time we met up, although I'd had a little to drink again, I got sort of nervous and, well, had trouble getting hard. Then the next time, the same thing happened...

Long story short, we've been seeing each other for 2 months, having a great time except that in that time we've only gotten to really have penetrative sex once or twice due to me getting really nervous when it comes to time to put on a condom, obviously I can't stay hard when nervous.

Basically I really like the girl. I'm totally attracted to her. Unfortunately she's not in a place where she wants to "go out with" anyone right now. I think maybe this makes me feel like I'm on shaky ground somehow. As I said, I'm pretty into her, I'd love to be going out with her, but I guess what difference does that really make in the end anyway... Sometimes I just get the feeling like she could sort of take me or leave me, but maybe that's just in my head.

She's also a bit more sexually experienced than me, I'm pretty inexperienced; again another slightly unnerving factor.

I'm pretty sure it's starting to become really annoying for her that almost every time we've gotten into foreplay and gotten all worked up to have sex, I manage to blow it by overthinking things and getting anxious or something. The last time it happened she got sort of quiet and a little bit cold with me...

I feel like if I fall at this hurdle one more time it could be the last straw for her and she won't want to see me. I worry that what she really wants and needs right now is a guy who can just throw her on a bed and give her a hard dick without even thinking about it.

I feel like my confidence is at a real low right now, it's not helping that I'm sort of unhappy with my appearance.

I don't know what to do. There's almost no-one else I can talk to about this and I'm scared I'm creating a bigger and bigger psychological block for myself. I get a fearful feeling in my stomach now a lot of the time when people mention sex...

Feel like I'm running out of time to actually perform. If I could just do it right once, the next time, then things will be okay. I won't be as worried and I'll be able to perform so much better then. No nerves.

I told her if I just feel like I have a bit of time, that I'm not on thin ice with her over all this, that I'll feel a lot more relaxed and comfortable
I'm my own worst enemy here. This is the only girl I've ever felt any hint of paranoia or jealousy with, too.
I really like her but she's not one of those girls that gives you the feeling, when you're out somewhere with her anyway, that you're the only guy she wants. Maybe I'm just not used to dealing with that feeling, it's not nice.

I have no idea what to do. I'm considering obtaining some kind of drug to keep me hard in spite of nerves, just to keep me in the game for now, 'til I feel comfortable enough again...

Any advice at all, I'd be really grateful.

tbh

stop drinking when you're out with her for a start. Next time you're with her, don't have sex - establish that in your mind first off. Have a think about what you're going to do with her (hint: go down) and just take control. Think of it as an all or nothing gamble. Relax!

easyontheeye

hey OP. thats is an identical situation to one i had! i really like a girl i was seeing a few months now and was the same, when im drunk its a disaster...never use to be with other girls. The condom just wrecks things too..maybe it was the aftermath of being a relationship for years and not needing one. anyway you will have to cut the drink when your planning to have sex. relax, go with the attitude that you wont be having sex and if it happens dont even think about, concentrate on pleasing her and you will naturally take your mind off your own ability to perform and be hard before you know it.

ogriofa

Hi, are you always in a rush? Do you have to get up and out in the morning?
I had something similar, and a weekend away fixed it. I know it's the classic, and it's easy to say... but in your case (from your post) id say that you need to relax.
Enjoy!!

kmick

Doctor + Viagra will get you over the hump

c4cat

Unroller. wrote: »

I met a girl two months ago. We were drunk and hooked up. Drink made me sort of under-perform when we had sex. Didn't worry too much about it, was drunk after all.
We continued to meet up, spend time together. We text, talk during the weeks quite a bit. Next time we met up, although I'd had a little to drink again, I got sort of nervous and, well, had trouble getting hard. Then the next time, the same thing happened...

yr demon is the drink, personally I just can not understand why so many people need to get feckin p!ssed to the point of making pavement pizzas to socialise....anyway getting to the sex point, spend more time on foreplay and get down on some oral for a good 30 mins to an hour and you will find that slipping in after that is nice and smooth plus if you done the oral right then she has already reached her climax a couple of times already,,,,,,,and the truth is there are not many young guys that know how to make a women come to a climax but doing the oral is I have found the best way to do it

LegacyUser

Guys, it's really not just down to drink. It was drink the first couple of times, yeah, maybe. But even the second time when I was sort of drunk I was still able to do it.

Does anyone know if having smoked some weed is likely to help me relax without taking away my ability to be hard? I haven't tried that but I easily could.

Just to be clear, I have satisfied her with oral and other things several times, but she enjoys full penetrative sex far, far more.

Viagra? Honestly, I would totally try it, if it will just get me past this nerve-wrecking stage. But I would hate for her to know I used it. How would I go about getting it anyway?

Some of the time we would be a bit pushed for time when having sex, yeah.