girlfriends moody

LegacyUser

Hey lads


I have been with a great girl for a good few months now but know her before that for years.

However she loses the plot on everything and anything it seems and yells at me it seem every day..

Over things like switching off lights, switching off laptop, the router, any spills or messes left un attended, all these risk the rath of kahn..!

And there is the dishes, where I come from we wash dishes with hot water and unless they are incredibly greasy hot water would suffice for most things like bowls of cereal, or drinks.

After a good wash they would be dried and put on the rack.

I was going to wash one of her bowls of cereal once and when she saw me she went loony, even though the sink was over flowing, and some water leaked. she still went mental over me trying to clean a bowl, she figured I was to put a wet un hygenic bowl back on her bowl rack, I was going to dry it of course but still.

She said to put the bowl into the machine, so now its like whatever I use in the kitchen I have to put it in the machine after to clean it, no matter how miniscule a mess needs washing up.

Yesterday we got in from town and I went to the toilet and left the light on thinking she would use it afterwards, so she come to the hall and sees the light on and nags me, then proceeds to use the toilet..wtf

This morning we tried to make out and I was a bit tense or anxious it seems and came on her bed sheet quite soon.

she went crazy again and took off the sheet and went away to work in a huff.

Is this normal girl behaviour? apart from these incidents we do get on very well and our sex life is usually fantastic but I was abit anxious this morning

but I could never believe she could be so inconsiderate towards me.

Wibbs

Was she always like this or is it a recent thing? Is she stressed at work or with personal stuff? In your relationship is there a long running argument that hasn't been resolved? Could there be a hormonal reason, change of pill, illness, PMT? What about from your side? Do you escalate arguments? Do you wait until she's at the end of her tether before doing things?

If nothings particularly wrong on either side and she's just a control freak/nag/knob then my advice is either stand up to her, have boundaries or leave. Trying to placate that type of personality is a road to nowhere. It usually makes it worse.

The_Conductor

People do get moody for any of a number of reasons- but even allowing for this- her reactions do sound a bit over the top.

I would suggest sitting down and talking openly to her- perhaps she doesn't even realise what she is doing, and how her actions (and reactions) are affecting you. The key to any good relationship is communication between the people involved- at the moment you are bottling up resentment towards her and how you perceive her behaviour to be- you need to move away from this course of action, and be open and honest with her.

S.

Wagon

She doesn't exactly sound like a nice person really. Freaking out cos you washed dishes, left a light on (with good reason) and even made a perfectly human mistake in the sack isn't normal woman behavour. Chat to her and see what's up, there could be something lacking in her life. It could be anything.

On the other hand, if there's nothing obvious and she doesn't want to tell you then she might not have anything to tell. In that case she's just a bitch so you can do what makes you happy then. Like Wibbs said put up boundaries, but I wouldn't be too hopeful about it working. How old is she? What kind of upbringing did she have? Was she spoiled? It sounds a little like it...

LegacyUser

My ex was very like this. I'm a clean and tidy guy and nowhere I have ever lived could be accused of being messy or untidy, but nevertheless, she found a way to nag me over absolutely everything. Lights left on occasionally (even if I left it on for a reason), things sitting in the wrong place, even accused me one night of 'stomping my feet' (!!!!!) - apparently my footsteps were too loud for her!

To cut a long story short, that's why she's my ex now, I had enough and told her she was completely paranoid and obsessive and I wasn't putting up with her $hit any longer.

That amount of nagging will wear you down eventually and totally eats away at your self esteem, so I would advise you if your girlfriend doesn't change her ways, move on.

nomorebadtown

um...she is screaming and freaking out because you

1. werent doing the washing up in her prefered way
2. you left a light on becasue you thought she was about to use the bathroom 3. you ejaculted during sex and some got on her bed sheets

Op thats unreasonable lunatic behaviour...from what you've said about "switching off lights, switching off laptop, the router, any spills or messes left un attended, all these risk the rath of kahn..!" this sounds a bit Obsessive Compulsive - make her aware of it and let her know that you are a human adult, not a dog and that it is not acceptable for her to freak and unleash hell on you like this. I went out with someone who had OCD and what i would say is that his is HER problem not yours - its something she has to deal with and cop on about. Dont let her treat you like that.

crazzzzy

If she's always been like that and doesn't want to compromise then ye have a big problem.

Maybe theres something else bothering her and shes just snapping at you over petty stuff. I used do that a bit without realising it but when my bf said he felt like id nearly kill him for breathing i realised i was bit stressed out over other stuff and taking it out on him.

i was never as fussy as ur gf though so maybe shes bit controlling over stuff. you'll have to talk to her and see whats going on. the longer you leave it the more frustrating for both of you.

Lobelia Overhill

She sounds like my Mother... nothing is ever done "right" or "properly" or whatever fecking excuse she has for throwing a tantrum several times a day.

Run for your life!

LegacyUser

Sound's a bit like-"if you want to know me then come live with me". Have to say that's sound's like hell. Just awhile ago I was in a similar situation, even though I was'nt living with the girl, man was she a control freak. I tried talking to her about her behavour but in the end it just did'nt work out. I only met this girl about a year ago and she was falling out with everyone, friend's, people she worked with.

The arguements were about nothing, In the end I was starting to get a complex about my self. I taught that it was me, because she used to say that I had to let thing's go over my head.So that ment she could say what she liked to me and I had to take it. My advice to you is try and talk it out if that don't work dude. Run and keep on running

LegacyUser

ya'll my girl is the same, and gets violent sometimes too, mine lies a good bit and threatens me, only thing is we is marrisd 6 yr. Advise man get the heck away frm this doll ASAP. u'll try to chang her but its pointless. the sayin is a lepoard never changes its spotz.. Soo tru/

I wud get away why u can. plenty of wominz who want dezent honest man.

Pub07

Cant understand why guys put up with women like this. Do yourself a favour OP, dump the headwreacking nag and find a decent girl who isn't so highly strung. It'll be like a weight off your shoulders. I went out with with someone similar once, except she nagged about other stuff, and the only regret I have about it is not ending it way sooner.

LegacyUser

well, when I told her I asked for peoples opinion on her behaviour she totally freaked out..

I just her behaviour was unresonable, this morning she blamed me for runing her sheet/blanket whatever ! as if i meant to ejaculate on her sheet... she seems to think so

dyl10

1) Don't dump her.

2) Have an extremely serious chat about this with her(Do not let it descend into an argument, alternatively let her read your post)

3) Give her a little bit of time to think

4) If she can't change her stance, then strongly consider leaving

LegacyUser

It sounds like she has failed to comprehend that everyone in the world does things in a different way. She thinks because things were done in a certain way in her house that those "rules" are universal and automatically understood by everyone.

In her deluded mind she thinks you are insane for failing to follow these imaginary rules and agreements.

You can try talking to her but she sounds just downrigh unreasonable and I dont think she will get it.

If not I would advise you to get out as no-one can live with a controlling bully like this.

On saying all that do just check you are not being outright stupid and thoughtless and as someone else said that she's not jsut at the end of her tether. I had a flatmate once who insisted on leaving his used plates and dishes in the sink to be washed up "later" by some imaginary Mammy I suppose.

Thing was there was no later, no imaginary Mammy and there was a perfectly working dishwasher waiting to receive his dirty delf. Every time I went to use the sink his forking plates etc would be there just waiting..........so in order to use the sink I had to put his delf in the dishwasher for him.....its not you is it?

LegacyUser

I think usually these thing's go a lot deeper then dishwahers and plates. Try and have a chat, if that don't work, Life is to short to be puttin up with that kind of thing

LegacyUser

Ok so this is not going to be popular but I would like to try see it from your GF's perspective if she is anything like me at the moment!

You say that she is getting moody only over housework? Let me tell you what I am living with at the moment - I have been living with my BF for a couple of years now and he is in his mid-thirties. We both work full-time and I am also doing a very intense course to supplement my career qualifications. Most nights after working late, an hour and a half train commute home, feeling completely nakkered, I have to sit down at the computer and write an essay or do an assignment. I also like my house to be relatively clean (I am not a clean freak though) so I don't have to spend my precious weekends cleaning from top to bottom. My BF is a a very clever, funny, generous guy and I am mad about him. However, he is very housework shy which I have lived with until a few months ago when the pressure increased on me with this course.

I have asked him if he could do simple things like put his dish in the dishwasher, not leave the bread open on the counter overnight, pull the duvet up on the bed, not leave his hairs that he has just shaved off his face all over the sink and toilet as he flushes them down the loo etc. Just simple normal any-adult-could-do-them things. So I asked him and he said ok. Then he left the place untidy again so after coming home, doing my essays, completely wrecked I had to clean up afterwards because his mam was coming over the next day. I asked him again to help out. He said ok. Guess what - he has still been doing it!

It has gotten to the stage now where I am too embarrassed to ask him to do the simple things that would make my life easier and keep us in a relatively basic level of hygiene. He is a good person and I don't think he is being deliberately annoying, I actually just think he is stupid!

SO maybe this is how your GF feels! Just a thought