Stag Night

LegacyUser

I've a bit of a problem with my wedding plans that maybe someone here might help with. I don't drink because I don't like being drunk. I hate the sickness afterwards and I hate the effects of it.

The trouble is, some of the male members of my family are putting pressure on me to have the standard stag night.. i.e. drink like mad, and no doubt parade me around like a fool. The same people rarely get in touch regardless and Im sure I'll hear all about it if I dont have one.

Im a very social fella, and I love spending time with people, having a good craic etc. If I have a stag night, they'll all be happy, I'll be in knots for the night minding them and trying to avoid embarrassment. If I don't, I'll get that.. look at the square who didnt have a stag night.. stare every time I see them.

I think I'll stick to my guns and just avoid the question. I could do something that I'd like.. such as a day out somewhere but I just know that it'll be brought to the nearest pub in town afterwards and I'll take a load of abuse if I bail out at that stage. If I knew a day of quad biking or paintball could end with dinner and bit of craic I'd jump at the chance, but I know where it would go if I did that with them all..

Decisions Decisions....

tinkerbell

Ok, well first things first - feck the lot of them and what they think. The stag night is in honour of you, not anybody else.

You decide what you want to do. If it's quad biking and keeping the drinking to a minimum, then decide on that. Anybody who starts giving out about it - just tell them that's how you want it, you want to be able to enjoy yourself on your stag night and if they want a drink-fuelled night, then suggest that one of them gets married and has a stag night that they like.

Seriously - you should just do what you want to do and not to just please people. It's about you after all and there's no point you spending the entire evening worrying. Good luck!

Loopy

Its your night - do what you want and to hell with what anyone says...

Why should you go out and get pissed to please others...

Unregistered

Unregistered wrote: »

I've a bit of a problem with my wedding plans that maybe someone here might help with. I don't drink because I don't like being drunk. I hate the sickness afterwards and I hate the effects of it.

The trouble is, some of the male members of my family are putting pressure on me to have the standard stag night.. i.e. drink like mad, and no doubt parade me around like a fool. The same people rarely get in touch regardless and Im sure I'll hear all about it if I dont have one.

Im a very social fella, and I love spending time with people, having a good craic etc. If I have a stag night, they'll all be happy, I'll be in knots for the night minding them and trying to avoid embarrassment. If I don't, I'll get that.. look at the square who didnt have a stag night.. stare every time I see them.

I think I'll stick to my guns and just avoid the question. I could do something that I'd like.. such as a day out somewhere but I just know that it'll be brought to the nearest pub in town afterwards and I'll take a load of abuse if I bail out at that stage. If I knew a day of quad biking or paintball could end with dinner and bit of craic I'd jump at the chance, but I know where it would go if I did that with them all..

Decisions Decisions....

Tell them the day is for you and you're going quad biking or paintball etc etc and if they want to get drunk and parade someone around like a fool they can do that themselves any other night

And if they look at you funny look at them back funny... seriously, putting yourself through a night of s* for a bunch of people who think the ultimate fun is getting plastered on YOUR night? think about it

shellyboo

Unregistered wrote: »

I think I'll stick to my guns and just avoid the question. I could do something that I'd like.. such as a day out somewhere but I just know that it'll be brought to the nearest pub in town afterwards and I'll take a load of abuse if I bail out at that stage. If I knew a day of quad biking or paintball could end with dinner and bit of craic I'd jump at the chance, but I know where it would go if I did that with them all..

Decisions Decisions....

So, do that!! I'm sure you can get somewhere to book you in for the early evening, then schedule a dinner for 8pm/9pm... that way, even if you do get dragged to the pub, it can't turn into a big drunken mess cos the pub will be closing soon. Even better, do it on a Sunday so everyone has work in the morning.

Don't let others hijack your stag - explain to them what YOU want, and if anyone says anything, calmly explain to them that it's YOUR night and it's unfair of them to force you into something you don't want to do.

Reflector

yeah go and book a day of activities then book a dinner, you'll be at 10-11 o'clock by then. then head out and have the craic. They wont have too much time too destroy you then. Where's the best man on this. Tell him what you want. It's his job to look after you.
Just back from a stag. 2 days and it was a hell of a lot of drinking but it was great fun. Do what you want, but have one sure you only get married once!!! hopefully

MagicMarker

Errr.... you are a man yes? An adult? You have a back bone don't you? You are capable of saying no aren't you?

So, what exactly is the problem?

LegacyUser

Just to say thanks for the advice.. the best man has been fantastic but he knows the situation with my family too. As to me being a man? I think you must have a very easy family to deal with. I can stand up and tell them all whats happening and that I'll do it my way. There'll be a big row then and I'll be given a huge guilt trip, i.e. the first in the family not to have a stag etc. etc.

I wish I could say, grr, Im a man with a back bone.. and all would be well. It must be great to be so hard.

yellowcurl

God thats so awful that they won't respect your wishes for your stag night. Unfortunately there are some families that are like that, sorry dude.

If you feel so pressured into it, maybe work out a deal with your best man and the friends that aren't associated with your family. If there's no other option but to go out after paintballing/quad biking/dinner etc. ask them to get your family members so drunk that they won't notice that you're drinking sodas/non alcoholic beers and you can also slink off early if that's what you want to do.

Just hand off any alcoholic drinks that they give you to your friends.

starchild

i think you should only do what you wish & damn the bedgrudgers, they may give you grief for a while but that will fade

however if the family makes it a major headache & you feel you have to go along with it then have a back up plan & head off before the crazy stuff begins

def dont let it overshadow the joy of planning & looking forward to your wedding

Good lord do not book a nice dinner for your stag night. What would probably happen if me or a mate did that is that everyone would just get trollied at the dinner.

LegacyUser

It's your party, so you decide. Tell them in advance, and say what you want, and whoever that's not comfortable with your arrangements is free not to attend. Say you want to have a good time and that's what you call a good time. If they want to go and get drunk they can do it some other time. I'm sure they'll understand, anyways, don´t get too stressed about the slagging ...

By the way, your bride is a lucky woman, there are not so many guys that prefer the healthy life to the nights out and all the drinking. Good luck!

ted1

orgainse day time activites like paintballing, go karting, surf lessons etc,etc. make it a stag day.

aare

As a last resort (because I do have family members who would find a way to pour drink down an Ayatollah), pull a sickie at the last minute and leave 'em to it...

That way they get the stag "do" they want (if they want), and you get off scot free.

The compromise move is to tell them you have medical reasons why you cannot drink...

Sometimes *bs* IS the best you can do.