Urgent Advice Needed - Please Help

lost09

I have another thread here about my relationship. Since posting that I have replied to one of his emails and he did not like what I had to say. He was trying to be 'nice' in his way of manipulating and I got back to him and told him some hard truths and to get lost and that I am better off without him etc.
He owes me €50. In fact he owes me more than that but I have let the rest go in good faith that it would be paid back in kind at least somewhere down the line. On top of the €50 that I have told him I wanted paid back he owes me for the cost of furniture that he smashed up over Christmas but has never offered to repair or pay anything towards getting replaced or fixed.
Last time he was here he left behind a dvd player and a bunch of dvds.
He wants these back but I told him he would get them back when he pays me the €50 that he owes me. Otherwise I would sell his **** to a pawn shop.
This morning after the email I sent him he replied and went ape****. Said he was on his way down to my house and that having his stuff was theft and that he would call the police and make a complete show of me at my place of residence(his words). He said he didn't give a **** and was right in the mood for this.
I don't know what to do. The phone hasn't stopped ringing but I haven't answered.
I need this money back because I took it out of my rent money, as I told him at the time when he gave me this sob story about how he had no money.
Do I just leave his **** outside the door as he's requested or what do I do?
This guy is twice my size and has gotten rough with me in the past. He has a a violent temper and I don't want to deal with that. I would put nothing past him and he will probably break the door down.
I am scared ****less now. Seriously.

kaimera

guards

beth-lou

It's time to fight fire with fire.

ring the police. Tell them he has made serious threats to you and is on his way over.
Answer his call and tell him you've rang the police yourself and tell him whatever it is that they advise you to. Stop buckeling under his threats and use the law that is there to protect you.

Do it now and be prepared. He's bullying you.

as far as the €50 goes, I'd forget about it and cut all contact with him.
Hope it works out, but please ring the Gardai and follow their instructions. They may caution him. It's the least he deserves.

biko

Bring friends/witnesses. Do not meet this guy alone. Record the conversation if you can, some mobiles have a recording option.

Wibbs

I agree. Contact the police. Don't escalate the situation with back and forth about money/dvd's etc. Hand the stuff back. Neither that not 50 quid is worth the hassle.

jessbeth

I know this sounds like copping out why don't you just leave the stuff on the doorway and cut your losses. I mean if you do that will he leave you alone. I know it's a bit like giving in but if it means he will stay out of your life and leave you alone wouldn't you be better off, otherwise you will have to deal with the police and this guy even further.

The Sweeper

Call the guards and show them whatever correspondence you have from him and tell them he's threatened you and is apparently on his way.

Why do you care if he tries to make a show of you? It'll be him that looks like the violent nut job who threatens women. Don't let him intimidate you with that crap.

lost09

Thanks for the advice, I needed it as I could not think straight. Hopefully this will be the end of it.
Majd, I could go down that route as I do have proof of his threats in emails but to be honest I don't have the energy right now, or anytime for that matter and am not interested in confrontation and argument. He's not worth it. And he would just love it because he is a scumbag who thrives on that sort of thing.

I just send him this text:
ur **** is left waiting outside the front door. i am out for the day in the event that u want to see me. keep the €50 and the rest of what u owe me.

Still wondering if I should call the police. I don't know. They would probably just dismiss whatever I say.
I just hope that he collects his stuff soon and this is the end of it.
I have been a complete fool for him.

Dizzyblonde

Definitely call the Guards, if only for them to have a record of this for future reference. Write off the €50 and cut all ties.

Femelade

I was in a similar situation as you before, only i have a child with him....

If i were you i'd ignore him, he wont call the guards, he knows it wont get him anywhere, you've sent him the text saying his stuff is outside the door, if he wants to get it let him.
I would also forget about the money he owes you. He's not going to give it to you, if it was more money i'd prob do something about it but 50 euro isnt alot in the scheme of things, you are only prolonging contact with him if you insist on getting the money back.

Keep all emails and txts off him incase things get out of hand, but these kind of guys who have dug their own hole (threatening emails, and smashed up furniture) will not get the guards involved.

lost09

Well it's over now. In the end I called the guards because he stood there ringing the doorbell continuously for almost half an hour. I had forgotten to put the remote control for the dvd player in with his bag of stuff. They took my name and address and dob. They said they'd cautioned him and that he won't be around again. I hope that they will put in on record.
Thank you all for the advice and for taking the time to reply. I feel a sense of relief now that it's over. But sad that it had to come that.

Overheal

Piece of chocolate for the nerves - you done good under pressure