Girlfriend Breasfeeding

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I have been with my gf for 2 years now.....I went over to her place on Friday night and saw her breastfeeding!!! What should I do???!!!

I do not know how to feel :eek:

TerrorFirmer

Em....you need to elaborate on that big time. What was she breastfeeding - your child that you automatically naively assumed wouldn't be breastfed? A random child? Herself?

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TerrorFirmer wrote: »

Em....you need to elaborate on that big time. What was she breastfeeding - your child that you automatically naively assumed wouldn't be breastfed? A random child? Herself?

Sorry I was panicking when I wrote that. Yes some random child!!!! We do not even have a kid together and she does not have any of her own!! Well actually it wasn't a random child, it was her friends child who she was minding (but didn't bother to tell me). Surely this isn't normal!!!

Wibbs

OK I'll bite. Now surely you said something at the time. Colour me obvious and forthright if you must, but if I walked in on my girlfriend of two years and found her breastfeeding a baby, I think I would ask questions. What the hell? would be first. The second more obvious one would be how can you breastfeed if you haven't given birth recently or continued to breastfeed after said birth. Because you know no breast milk is ordinarily produced unless she has one of her own...

fred funk }{

You've got to be a troll.

Silverfish

Have you asked her about it?

It certainly seems strange.

aoibhebree

So many things wrong with this, but I'll begin with ... if she hasn't had a child recently, there would be no milk ...?

MissHoneyBun

Zoikes! Why was she even lactating in the first place? Are you entirely sure that's what she was doing OP? I hope the child's mother gave her permission to be so intimate with her child or else you're not the only one who's gonna be a bit put out by this.. I think it's entirely justified for you to ask your girlfriend a few serious questions about her motivation for doing this.

I saw a documentary about this a while back. It used to be common many years ago, wet nurses and the like. Some people thought it was a great idea while others were disgusted by it. There was even one family who were buying breast milk in bottles! They said that it is possible for a woman to lactate without having a baby of their own but I can't remember how.

Wibbs

fred funk }{ if you had bothered to read the charter and the individual sticky in this forum you would have noted that calls of troll are frowned upon in this forum. No more thanks.

Wibbs

Karsini wrote: »

I saw a documentary about this a while back. It used to be common many years ago, wet nurses and the like. Some people thought it was a great idea while others were disgusted by it. There was even one family who were buying breast milk in bottles!

Yes but she would need to be lactating. Which = baby in her recent past.

LegacyUser

It is the OP here again. Firstly what is a troll? Someone called me one. I thought it was an ogre type thing that leaves under a bridge in fairy tales......

Well she has never had one. She stopped the minute I came in so I do not know how long she was doing it for. Talking about it sickens me I was just wondering if anyone else experienced this. Would she only be lactating if she had a kid? She definitely does not have one...

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

Yes but she would need to be lactating. Which = baby in her recent past.

Sorry, was editing my post while you posted there... they claimed it was possible to lactate without having a child but I don't remember how.

BJC

IBTL!

Auldloon

I think the very act can induce lactation.

aare

When I was a teenager (in the 70s) my best friend would do this sometimes.

She lost a baby she was carrying through violence that left her unable to conceive...and it comforted her...

She meant no harm, she didn't hurt the child, but, years on, I realise that was not healthy, it was an inappropriate gesture of deep grief that needed addressing properly instead.

She wasn't lactating, but then neither is your average "soother", still works for the average baby.

Confront her.

Silverfish

BJC wrote: »

IBTL!

Please read this forums charter.


Off-topic and unhelpful posting will earn you a ban.

paperclip2

You can breastfeed a child through induced lactation without having given birth recently. There are well documented cases of adoptive mothers managing to at least partially breastfeed their adopted baby. All it takes afaik is lots of stimulation to the breast, sucking from the baby, or expressing with a pump for example. But it takes a helluva lot of commitment to get to a stage where milk is being produced.

Edit: Theres is a lot of info on induced lactation in the La Leche League book 'The Womanly art of Breastfeeding' 7th edition, pages 303-306.

I would be a bit concerned over the motivation to breastfeed where there is no parental bond. I reckon that the childs mother might not be too over the moon with it either. I breastfed mine, and its a very intimate thing to do, not something I would happily let another woman do for my children, though there are women who are happy to.

littlebug

A woman can lactate without having had a baby but I thought medication of some sort would be needed, but hell I know nothing. It seems like a very strange thing to do. My vote is that in a moment of curiosity she wanted to know what it feels like Can't imagine anyone doing it a second time if that's the case... it bloody hurts til you get used to it.

ETA. after a quick google yes some adoptive mothers take medication to stimulate milk production and some don't but it's a difficult process.

I also have to say I would be really angry if I thought someone else was breastfeeding my baby. Unless there was permission that's just not on...

Craft25

Apparently even men can do it :eek: , most often when the mother dies in childbirth and they are too far from civilisation to find a wet nurse!! Obviously it involves the kicking in of some serious female hormones.

OP was your girlfriend actually breastfeeding?(as in producing milk?) or soothing the baby with her breast. Anyway she was obviously acting out in some way, girls in our society play with dolls, and feed them with bottles from the time they can walk, so it wouldnt be beyond the beyonds for a girl alone with a baby to imagine herself as a new mother and act it out a bit.

It was in 'the hand that rocks the cradle'(movie), where the nanny takes over the young mothers whole life, starting by breast feeding her child in secret. She had lost a child too or was unable to concieve or something like that.

Did you mention it to her at all?? How not? Perhaps she even did it to play a little joke on you and gauge your reaction??

Húrin

traffic_cone wrote: »

I have been with my gf for 2 years now.....I went over to her place on Friday night and saw her breastfeeding!!! What should I do???!!!

I do not know how to feel :eek:

What's the problem? She was probably just helping out her friend.

yellowcurl

God when I read your post I was like "what the hell?" for a minute, not something that's the norm to walk in on!

Best thing is to ask for some sort of an explanation. Secondly, ask if the friend knows that she was breastfeeding/soothing/whatever her baby, and if she didn't know I'd seriously consider telling her. How would you react if you had a son/daughter in a few years time and found out that your gfs friend had been breastfeeding your baby without consent?

I'm not trying to be mean, but maybe your gf has some issues?

Redpunto

No, no, no, no, no - either ure taking the piss or shes looney. You do not put someone else baby onto your breast - there is no way she could have been producing milk so she was doing it to either experience it or trying to placate the baby - but baby would have got pissed off after a while - lying there sucking and getting nothing for it. Dont believe it meself.

MagicMarker

Ever seen the movie ''The Hand that Rocks the Cradle''?

Forget that she's your girlfriend, you need to find out if the mother knew about this ASAP.

Overheal

Why not just ask her, and then, get an answer?

I really don't get what you're trying to accomplish here.