Tired of living in Ireland!

Raptor21 · 08-02-2009 07:28PM #1

Hi, I am a 21yr old male student and was born in, and lived in Ireland all my life. A few summers ago I visited the united states with friends and lived there for 3 months. I loved it so much and I returned last summer again to spend another summer there. I have always loved travelling to new places and have grown to dislike living in Dublin over the past few years. Being away and living somewhere like the states just makes me a much happier person. I feel far more independent and more confident in general. For example, I do well with girls over there where I do **** in Ireland.

I feel Ireland is so over priced these days and Dublin has become a cosmopolitan rip off. Houses are so expensive and the weather is so crap, I don't see much of a future living here. I will always love being Irish and am proud of my nationality. We are perceived so well all over the world and this is one of the reasons why I enjoy being in different countries so much.

I am in my second year in college and I am not too happy with my course our perspective career. I don't need to be rich and own a big house. I would much rather just be happy. If I was not in college now, I would take off to Australia or Canada, or somewhere like that. I would love to go back to the states also. Some days it really depresses me to wake up and not like where I am living or what I am doing. I am normally a very cheerful person but I do get down in the dumps from time to time. I feel like my life needs a fresh change of scenery. I am tied down to my course so this would not be possible unless I decided to drop out. I am only really in college in the first place for the security of having a degree and am in now way looking forward to joining the 9-5 grind after I get it.

I don't really know what to do and I am still young and want to enjoy my youth while I can. I don't think there is much happiness for me here.

Helix · 08-02-2009 07:36PM

im not sure what youre asking here?

if you dont like ireland and want to live abroad, then move abroad

LegacyUser · 08-02-2009 07:43PM

I'm sure you are going to get lots of nasty comments like "well get out then".

My girlfriend is American and we've been over a good few times to visit her family with our daughter. America is a great place-- people are friendly, things are affordable. Seems to me the celtic tiger really ruined everything that was good about Ireland. People are not welcoming or friendly. I'm a musician playing the pub scene a lot and the behavior and attitude of the Irish public is appalling. My girlfriend is so friendly she gets devil stares from the women in town if she so much as smiles in their direction.

Americans are just good-natured and that optimism can be intoxicating. People who haven't been to America don't understand that and I think Americans suffer from unfair stereotypes. We have our house up for sale, with the hopes of moving to America to give it a try if our home ever sells. I know my girlfriend misses the States a lot-- she has very few Irish friends, most of them are expats like herself.

You've got little to lose- they have a working holiday visa for the states now, go give it a try.

08-02-2009 07:48PM

You're an adult and can go where you like. Seriously, if you want to leave, leave and stop moping around.

Living anywhere is only as good as you make it.

towel401 · 08-02-2009 07:50PM

Raptor21 wrote: »

Dublin has become a cosmopolitan rip off. Houses are so expensive and the weather is so crap, I don't see much of a future living here

I am only really in college in the first place for the security of having a degree and am in now way looking forward to joining the 9-5 grind after I get it.

agreed. go live some place less boring then. i`m in a similar situation as yourself and i'm not looking forward to the '40 years of office work then death'. when I get out of college there will be only boring office jobs available for me if any but it`s still a good idea to get the degree. just in case, maybe you will find a good job in a place you like out of it.

i used to know someone who went to honduras and got hired as a school teacher and the only thing they cared about is that she had been to college, not what degree she had or anything. so its a useful thing to have even if you end up doing something completely different

Modern city life also has a sense of worthlessness about it - you go to work for some huge behemoth of a company every day come home and don't have time to do anything like fix the car yourself so you need to pay someone else to do it and before ya know it it's time for retirement & death.

Raptor21 · 08-02-2009 07:53PM

Helix wrote: »

im not sure what youre asking here?

if you dont like ireland and want to live abroad, then move abroad

I admit my post is a bit ambigious. I am not looking for somebody to just tell me what I should do as only I can figure this out for myself. My main problem though is that I am tied down to university and my family want me to finish. I don't really want to be here and would much prefer to go and travel, or settle somewhere else. The way they look at it though is that you are screwed in later life if you do not have a degree. This may be the case but I don't want to work for some company anyway doing a job I do not like. I would much rather head out in the world and find something that I enjoy doing.
It is hard to take this step however.

towel401 · 08-02-2009 07:55PM

can you not get a cert after 2 years?

if you in 2nd year now you only got another year and a half to go if you don't fail anything. better stick it out i think.

mutualismo · 08-02-2009 07:56PM

Raptor21 wrote: »

Hi, I am a 21yr old male student and was born in, and lived in Ireland all my life. A few summers ago I visited the united states with friends and lived there for 3 months. I loved it so much and I returned last summer again to spend another summer there. I have always loved travelling to new places and have grown to dislike living in Dublin over the past few years. Being away and living somewhere like the states just makes me a much happier person. I feel far more independent and more confident in general. For example, I do well with girls over there where I do **** in Ireland.

I'm 23, I left Ireland (though after I had finished a degree) to move to Europe. One of the best decisions of my life - I feel like I know exactly what you are talking about. Everybody is very nice to me here and I'm much more confident and outgoing now. Life is so much more interesting and the feeling of independence that comes from living somewhere completely new is brilliant. It's funny what you say about girls - I too had a terrible time with girls back home, and I'd say that had a lot to do with living at home and the rut that I was in. For all that's good about Ireland, there isn't really that much much going on compared to so many other places, and it is really a very badly managed country all things considered.

There's a very big world out there and I would be missing out on so much if I hadn't left. I will probably go to Asia next, and I can't see myself ever living in Ireland again. I'm sure there are plenty of people who can enjoy staying in Ireland for their entire lives but I know that I am not one of them.

OP: if you only have a year or two left in your degree then that is not a life sentence, although you could seek to transfer to a college abroad if that's possible. Spend some time thinking about where you would like to go and researching the entry requirements of those countries you find the most interesting. Look for job opportunities in those locations and improve your applications, work experience and exam scores so that when the time is right to leave, you will have the best opportunities so that it will be as easy as possible.

Húrin · 08-02-2009 08:00PM

Raptor21 wrote: »

Hi, I am a 21yr old male student and was born in, and lived in Ireland all my life. A few summers ago I visited the united states with friends and lived there for 3 months. I loved it so much and I returned last summer again to spend another summer there. I have always loved travelling to new places and have grown to dislike living in Dublin over the past few years. Being away and living somewhere like the states just makes me a much happier person. I feel far more independent and more confident in general. For example, I do well with girls over there where I do **** in Ireland.

I feel Ireland is so over priced these days and Dublin has become a cosmopolitan rip off. Houses are so expensive and the weather is so crap, I don't see much of a future living here. I will always love being Irish and am proud of my nationality. We are perceived so well all over the world and this is one of the reasons why I enjoy being in different countries so much.

Like America, Ireland isn't for everyone. Do many of your problems perhaps come from a lack of friendship here?

Monkey61 · 08-02-2009 08:03PM

Please stay in college and finish your degree. It is only two/three more years of your entire life. It won't kill you. I hated every minute of college but I stuck it out. It is possible.

You will be in a much better position as a college educated person to move abroad and have the chance of staying there. The only people I know who have made the permenant move to America have been those with MA's and PhD's who were highly skilled and in demand. If you are serious about moving to one of those countries for more than a couple of months - now is the time to start researching what skills would be in demand and making sure you get them. America is more than likely closed off to you for anything longer than a couple of months unless you are highly educated. Do you have the option to spend an Erasmus year there in college? Everyone I know who has done that has had the best year of their lives.

If you drop out now, you can go to Australia or Canada for a year, but then what? You would be back to square one. So stick it out, make your plans. Save money and work abroad for 3 months every summer. Just look at it as sacrificing these three years for the securing of your future happiness. Put a picture of your favourite place in America up over your desk, so that every time you sit down to write an essay you remember why you are doing it!

femur61 · 08-02-2009 08:07PM

I coudn't wait to leave ireland in the 80's now that was a recession. We never had money sot it was great to get away and even though i did go to university abroad, living, experiencing away was the best education I ever received. But and this is a big but I did return, never in a million years did I think I would be so glad I have moved back to ireland. i do remember being in my 20's now 40 and I felt so trapped here so I don't berate you for wanting to go abroad. It is normal to want to experience lif away. i lived in New York for a year and it was great.:) I didn't really like the type of person that was born out of the celtic tiger but thats life and things change.

08-02-2009 08:07PM

Why can't you just finish your degree and then go? What's the hurry? You won't get a free education in many other countries. Is it possible to maybe do an Erasmus year somewhere, then head abroad when you're finished? I'm not a big fan of Ireland either, and I just worked abroad every summer, did Erasmus and moved away after college. At this stage, I think you're better off sticking it out and getting the degree. If you really don't want to, then don't.

anladmór · 08-02-2009 08:10PM

mutualismo wrote: »

I'm 23, I left Ireland (though after I had finished a degree) to move to Europe. One of the best decisions of my life - I feel like I know exactly what you are talking about. Everybody is very nice to me here and I'm much more confident and outgoing now. Life is so much more interesting and the feeling of independence that comes from living somewhere completely new is brilliant. It's funny what you say about girls - I too had a terrible time with girls back home, and I'd say that had a lot to do with living at home and the rut that I was in. For all that's good about Ireland, there isn't really that much much going on compared to so many other places, and it is really a very badly managed country all things considered.

There's a very big world out there and I would be missing out on so much if I hadn't left. I will probably go to Asia next, and I can't see myself ever living in Ireland again. I'm sure there are plenty of people who can enjoy staying in Ireland for their entire lives but I know that I am not one of them.

OP: if you only have a year or two left in your degree then that is not a life sentence, although you could seek to transfer to a college abroad if that's possible. Spend some time thinking about where you would like to go and researching the entry requirements of those countries you find the most interesting. Look for job opportunities in those locations and improve your applications, work experience and exam scores so that when the time is right to leave, you will have the best opportunities so that it will be as easy as possible.

what? how was that possible?

OP remember YOU HAVE FREE MOVEMENT WITHIN EU, MAKE USE OF IT. its natural for people to get bored and fall out of love where they come from, so do something about it.

Raptor21 · 08-02-2009 08:27PM

Thanks for all the good advice. I appreciate the fact that it is very valuable to have a 3rd level degree for your future in general, and would make it a lot easier to move abroad. This is not my first time in college and I did a 2 year cert when I finished school. I was really unhappy with college then and decided not to return to finish my degree. I spent the last 2 years working and spending summers away. The reason I went back to college was because I was at a bit of a loose end and felt it was the best thing to do.
I had to start back at scratch as my cert was no good to me really and now I have 2 full years after this one. It sucks when all your friends have graduated and you are still in college but I do not regret the decision I made 2 years ago as I genuinely thought it was for the best at the time. The only regret I have is not having a plan but I was 19 so what the hell do I know what I want to do with my life?!

I have looked in to Erasmus and possibly transfering in to another college in Europe but this is not possible. I have to complete the rest of my degree in Dublin aparently. I am hoping to go away again for the summer which will be great but I can't help but feel like I am only living for the summer months and then I will be unhappy for the next 9 months. I have plenty of friends here so it is not an issue of wanting to just meet people. Most days I don't even go in to college and hang out with friends instead. I really don't like the environment of it all. However, when exam season roles in I always get the head down and pass my exams. This has pretty much been the standard since I first started college.

I know so many people who have went to university and gotten great degrees and that have never even used them. I know they can open new doors and all regardless, but I can't help but feel like I am wasting my time to get some piece of paper that I will never use. I am too much of a hippy at heart to work as an accountant or some similar type job. It is just not me! Having a degree can lead in to other things I know so for this reason alone I would like to have it, but 2 and a half years is a long time to spend in a place that you hate.

Helix · 08-02-2009 11:12PM

Raptor21 wrote: »

I admit my post is a bit ambigious. I am not looking for somebody to just tell me what I should do as only I can figure this out for myself. My main problem though is that I am tied down to university and my family want me to finish. I don't really want to be here and would much prefer to go and travel, or settle somewhere else. The way they look at it though is that you are screwed in later life if you do not have a degree. This may be the case but I don't want to work for some company anyway doing a job I do not like. I would much rather head out in the world and find something that I enjoy doing.
It is hard to take this step however.

can you defer for a year to go abroad and get a feel for wherever youd ultimately like to live then?

AARRRGH · 08-02-2009 11:20PM

I understand how you feel. It's a really tough decision you have to make.

As I'm a bit older than you (I'm 30) and have a bit more life experience, my advice is to stay in college, get your degree, and then get the **** outta here.

08-02-2009 11:34PM

I know so many people who have went to university and gotten great degrees and that have never even used them. I know they can open new doors and all regardless, but I can't help but feel like I am wasting my time to get some piece of paper that I will never use.

I think most people would agree that having a degree is better than not having one, especially if you've already started it - you don't want to waste the time you've put in so far. I agree that it's tough to make a decision, I had to choose my A-Levels at FIFTEEN which basically confined me to doing an Arts degree - I think that's very unfair as what the hell does a 15 year old know about work and careers - but you sort of have to work with what you have. I now work as a TEFL teacher, a job for which you need a degree, so it's far from useless. Having a degree will help you with lots of things, especially if you intend to live abroad. I personally think education is more valued outside Ireland (where employers tend to assume you spent 4 years drinking tea and watching Neighbours!) and I don't think you'll regret staying in college. Is 2 more years really that much time? Even if you hate the course, you still have friends to hang out with, activities to do. College doesn't have to be your life, once you do the required assignments and pass your exams.

anladmór · 08-02-2009 11:55PM

op how about using this time to learn a language?

beks101 · 09-02-2009 12:08AM

OP, I can totally relate to you as I feel the exact same way, and I'm a college graduate working in Dublin the past year and a half.

I honestly thought by now I'd be on the other side of the Atlantic at the very least, having done 3 J1s and a Erasmus in the States and falling head over heels with the place. Fact is I got an invaluable job offer in Dublin and made a judgement call, and am currently clocking pages on the CV and saving to give myself as good a quality of life as is possible when I do make the move.

J1s are great and all, but I'm sure you don't see yourself living that sort of lifestyle in America, or where-ever you end up overseas, in the long-term. I understand how miserable it makes you to think of another two years of rain, recession depression (let's face it the country's mood is lower now than it has been in years) and the sheer monotony of breaking your back for a degree that you couldn't care less about...but in doing so you're creating greater possibilities for yourself, taking responsibility for your future, and striving for the best life you can give yourself when you're finally in the position to get the hell out of here. It's a pain in the neck, but you have to think of the bigger picture.

By all means spend the next two years researching your future - narrow down the list of possible destinations, get a start on the visa process, job search, house hunt...it's all in your hands OP.

anladmór · 09-02-2009 01:32AM

op u dont need any visa process going to another eu country. its so flexible u can give it a go for 6 months and then if it doesnt work out a simple ryanair flight or if u got a car maby take it back on the ferry.

Arcee · 09-02-2009 01:53AM

Previous posters are right OP - finish your degree. If you look into the visa requirements for most classes of work visas for the states - a degree is preferred if not essential in some cases.

Does your course have a work experience year? If so, you could head over to the states for that on the intern 12 month visa. You can also travel on this visa within 12 months of graduation. Another poster mentioned the new Irish work and travel visa announced at the end of last year. This also allows you to work in the states for a year but you can take a better job than an internship and you don't need to have work arranged in advance of travel.

You could also spend your remaining college summers seeing other parts of the world - volunteer or work in Asia or south america perhaps?

Don't forget there are one year work visas available to you for Oz and Canada too. After you graduate, you could feasibly travel the world and work as you go for a good few years. Sounds like a great lifestyle to me!!

Use your time now to research your options in detail and plan out what you want to do. If all else fails, you could try and get a job with a multinational here in Ireland when you graduate and apply for a transfer as soon as you are eligible.

A bit of short term sacrifice in the form of staying in college could work out in some long term gain for you OP. All the best with it and I hope it works out for you.

Raptor21 · 09-02-2009 02:39AM

Thanks everyone for all your kind advice. It's great to hear what people who have experience think about my situation and I really appreciate it! As much as I would like to be out in the world, it just makes way more sense to get my degree first. The last thing I want to do is end up back to scratch when I am 27 and not have anything to fall back on. It just gets a bit frustrarting sometimes and I feel like my life is passing me by or something. I think I need to start making the most out of being in college as I do have a pretty nice lifestyle that I take for granted at times.
I'll stick it out and start researching some options for when I finish. I do admit that the college months just fly by and I am not even that far from finishing this year already. Just gotta keep the head up and think of the 'bigger picture' as one poster said. Thanks again for all the great advice!

Tired of living in Ireland!

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