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Bitching, and how to stop her?

  • 08-02-2009 7:23pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I've known my best friend for 15 years and we have a good friendship. She can rely on me and me on her and she's a good person.

    However

    Lately I've noticed she's becoming, well, a bitch. Not about me or to me, but about others and life in general.
    She's been single for 8 years and if I'm honest she's sounding incredibly bitter lately.

    On the last few occasions we've been out together she's bitched about younger girls in the pubs, saying they look like slappers and their clothes are ridiculous. They don't, they're just young women out having fun.

    After a few jars she starts being really catty about people. She slags off women she works with, she passes remarks about total randomers, she even slagged off a neighbour who put on a few pounds since having a baby.
    All of this is to me, not to the people in question.
    If she wasn't a friend of mine I'd tell her to get a grip and stop being so negative.

    The problem is that despite putting on a tough front, she's actually incredibly sensitive under the image she portrays.
    Things don't fall off her like water from a duck's back, if she has a row with someone she will bear a grudge and remember every detail of what they said for years!

    So how do I tell her nicely that she needs to stop being such a bitch?
    It's actually putting me off meeting up with her because I know she'll end up being catty about someone or other and I just can't be arsed with that.
    She's 33 and sounding like an old woman.


Comments

  • #2
    Overheal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    Unregistered wrote: »
    If she wasn't a friend of mine I'd tell her to get a grip and stop being so negative.
    But...thats what friends do. Friends spot for eachother. Don't criticize, but you need to let her know what she's doing, because she might not be aware of it herself.


  • #3
    yellowcurl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 787 ✭✭✭yellowcurl


    How do you know that she doesn't bitch about you behind your back?

    She sounds jealous/unhappy/depressed... take your pick.

    Maybe consider approach her about talking to someone about her feelings, ie. what makes her be so hurtful about other people?


  • #4
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Overheal wrote: »
    But...thats what friends do. Friends spot for eachother. Don't criticize, but you need to let her know what she's doing, because she might not be aware of it herself.

    +1 why would you be more honest with a stranger then with a friend ?


  • #5
    00112984
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,600 ✭✭✭00112984


    Unregistered wrote: »
    Not about me or to me.

    Anyone who'll bitch TO you will bitch ABOUT you.


  • #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thaedydal wrote: »
    +1 why would you be more honest with a stranger then with a friend ?

    Because she takes 'criticism' or what she perceives as criticism really, really badly. That's why I posted here in the first place, to ask for advice on how to broach it.

    yellowcurl, that's a good idea, to direct her to someone to talk about it, thanks.


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