Irritated by a co-worker

Salome

Any advice on how to deal with a really irritating co-worker? She sits on the opposite desk from mine and is super-nosy! She always obviously listens to my phone conversations and even joins in - interjecting her 2 cents - while I'm still on the phone!!! She has to get her spoke in on every conversation I'm having with any other colleague to the point of saying something totally irrelevant to the subject just to get noticed.

Unfortunately, a desk change isn't possible. Any ideas or suggestions on how to deal with it - without murder or injury being an option - would be appreciated!!

ogriofa

Hi, I was in this scenario years ago. I had a good think about it and decided that I didnt care if she got annoyed with me, and that I was gonna pull her up on it.

I did, and she did. It would have been awkward except for the fact that I really didnt care. Is that something you could do? Maybe Im a wee bit callus or cold.

Dont know if you can get away with that. Do you work with her in such a way that you need to get on? (travel/presenting a united front etc)

Zaph

Is there any sort of low partition between you? If so, could you put something like a plant there to block her out a bit? As for her butting into your phone conversations, every time she does it I'd make a point of asking the person on the other end to hold for a moment and then saying "do you mind, I'm on the phone here" to her. Do this every time and she may finally get the message.

Salome

Zaph wrote: »

Is there any sort of low partition between you? If so, could you put something like a plant there to block her out a bit? As for her butting into your phone conversations, every time she does it I'd make a point of asking the person on the other end to hold for a moment and then saying "do you mind, I'm on the phone here" to her. Do this every time and she may finally get the message.

No partition possible - it's all open plan in our office. I've also pulled her up a couple of times on the phone thing - I even explained how rude she was and how I wished she wouldn't do it. She apologised but still kept on. I'm beginning to really despise her as a result.

Unfortunately, I do need to get on with this person as much as possible, it's a small team in a small office so I would hate to get to the stage where it's handbags at dawn.

Zaph

Start interrupting her phone calls to see how she likes it?

Salome

She'd probably love the fact that she has some attention!

RedXIV

If it's just the phone thing, can you have the calls sent to your mobile instead? then you could leave the desk whenever you have a call?

mikemac

Attention seeker.

If she talked to me or give an opinion where it wasn't needed I'd just blank her, wouldn't even go to the trouble of acknowledging her.

So next time you're chatting to a colleague and she jumps in with some comment just keep talking to your colleague, pretend you never heard her and leave her there hanging around like a spare wheel

Salome

I can't be wandering off with my cellphone everytime I needed to take a call though - my boss would have something to say about it I'm afraid.

Blanking her would be difficult - as I said before, it's a small office and I really don't want to seem like a nasty old biddy who's being mean to someone.

Thanks for all your ideas guys but I think I'm just gonna have to live with it - I don't want to cause a fuss.

ogriofa

RedXIV wrote: »

If it's just the phone thing, can you have the calls sent to your mobile instead? then you could leave the desk whenever you have a call?

I'd go with this IF it's for private calls.

Private calls
Dont mean to turn on ya here but you shouldn't be taking private calls during the day. Every now and again, no probs of course, but if someone was taking the piss beside me it'd get on my tits to be honest.

Work calls
If it's work related calls, I'd ignore her ala Mikemac

Salome

ogriofa wrote: »

I'd go with this IF it's for private calls.

Private calls
Dont mean to turn on ya here but you shouldn't be taking private calls during the day. Every now and again, no probs of course, but if someone was taking the piss beside me it'd get on my tits to be honest.

Work calls
If it's work related calls, I'd ignore her ala Mikemac

I get your point about personal calls though - I make one personal call a day - depending on my partners shifts. It does not mean my calls are open season. We all take and make personal calls in the office - we all pretend we're not listening but this bint doesn't do that - she's downright nosy and it's inappropriate. Not to mention that it's really causing me to resent her.

marti101

Can you not go to your supervisor about this.Or get one of the customers to complain that ahe was trying to have a conversation with you and she kept interupting.Just go to yor supervisor and make it official cause if you said something to her nad she made the complaint you would probably be for the high jump.Get there first and say your piece.

Big_Mac

I agree with Marti. Office Politics. Speak with her / your line manager on this, its their job to sort this stuff out.

Speak to them in confidence about it, so they can't go back to the bint and say something like "Salome said this and that" more something like, "I've noticed you are a bit loud and nosey lately, keep your beak out"

LegacyUser

My boss likes to interject on my work calls occasionally and 9 times out of 10 he actually hasnt picked up on the conversation correctly so stands like a buffoon making totally irrelevant remarks.

He is a lovely guy, but gets a bit overexcited in work if he thinks he knows something you dont know and you need to know asap.

I dealt with the phonecall aspect by doing this:
EVERY time he did it, I ignored him, and addressed the person on the other end with 'Im terribly sorry but Such and Such is talking to me at the same time as you and I cannot hear both conversations, could you hold the line a moment please', then Id turn to him and say (leaving the phone uncovered so he knew the other person could hear), 'Im sorry, but I cannot possibly hear what you are saying at the same time Im speaking to Whoever on the phone, would you mind waiting until Im finished the call or if its urgent I can let Whoever know and call them back' - at which point he always looked embarrassed, apologised and went away - it took a while but persistance on my part paid off and now he tends more to write things on post-it notes and wave them at me rather than speak over my conversation (he still slips occasionally).

The key here is to draw negative attention to the person and to do your apologising to the person on the other end loudly - while being totally polite about it.

You can also follow the call up with a 'Im sorry Such and Such but it makes it extremely difficult for me when you interrupt my calls like that and the person on the other end sounded irritated that they were being interrupted'.

traffic_cone

While on the phone say to the person on the other end sorry can I call you back, I cannot hear you as my colleague is trying to tell me something...

If that fails I recommend gaffer tape

Reesy

ogriofa wrote: »

Hi, I was in this scenario years ago. I had a good think about it and decided that I didnt care if she got annoyed with me, and that I was gonna pull her up on it.

I did, and she did. It would have been awkward except for the fact that I really didnt care. Is that something you could do? Maybe Im a wee bit callus or cold.

Dont know if you can get away with that. Do you work with her in such a way that you need to get on? (travel/presenting a united front etc)

+1 (except I don't see it as callous)

I suggest that when she interrupts your conversations, you stop what you're saying, pause, turn to her, make eye contact & ask her calmly not to interrupt you. Make sure you choose a time when the conversation's nothing to do with her. If she responds, either repeat your statement (calmly, with eye contact again) or ignore her & carry on. Do not let her into your conversation.

Keep dealing with her interruptions in this way - calmly, without anger, with eye contact - till she changes her behaviour. Outside of these specific scenarios, be nice to her (just normal, don't over-compensate).

It's really hard to do this well, so script what you are going to say (keep it short), write it down, and practice. If at first you don't succeed, try again.

No need to be rude, just be firm. That way you can still have a working relationship with her.

Good luck!

thermo66

How irritating.

I would do the ignoring method too but in a 'polite' way if there's such a thing. Next time she butts in ignore her and if she repeats herself just glance at her and put your finger to your lips as in shush. Give her a wink and a smile to lighten the rudeness factor as in .

I lived with a girl who kept talking during Lost which is hard enough to follow when your paying attention and she used to wreck my head. Couldn't really tell her to FCUK OFF as i had to live with her (even tho i wanted to ... SO bad) so i did the above which worked!! Don't think she was too offended it just made her realise i didn't want to listen to her at that particular point. Its so annoying though.

trentf

best advice is to walk up to her and tell her straight to her face.

Ask her why is she always interrupting and that you find it annoying. Simple.