Parenting like Tetris?

MLE

Maybe its just me. But does anyone else thing that parenting small children is like playing a game of Tetris?

Ive a 4.5 yr old and a 1.5yr old. And everyday that Im at home with them alone, I feel that I am working all day but nothing gets done, I don't move forward.

They are fed, clothed, played with etc, but I spend so much time, trying to tidy up after them.

My little boy the 1.5 yr old, spends his day going around the house and emptying all the toys out, taking dvd out of cases, emptying the cereal boxes and dry cat food and anything he can get his hands on. While the girl wants my attention all the time and wants to take out this toy and that toy.

My house is a mess, but even if I worked to tidy it all evening when the kids go to bed it would still be a mess, so I just keep the sitting room and kitchen tidy.

I hope Im not alone as sometimes it gets to me how messy the place can get, and to be honest I would need to farm off the kids for a few days to get back on top of it only for them to return and be back to square one.

Please tell me Im not alone?

Nevyn

You are soooo not alone, it's a grind and can drive you crazy.
It can be one of THE most thankless things to have to do imho.
Personally I draw a line between unclean and untidy, untidy I can live with for a while.
It gets better as they get older honest, getting them to help tidy up thier toys
is a good way to start.

littlebug

oh that's really funny. yes tetris explains it perfectly

But do any of you have just one friend/ neighbour who seems to be able to keep their house immaculate and everything in it's place (even if you call unexpectedly)? How the f do they do that? There's one that sends me into a cold sweat if I think she's coming to visit.

That said I've just introduced pocket money to my eldest so her room has improved greatly and there are fewer grumbles about tidying up when she thinks she's getting something out of it.

the glass woman

Thank god this thread was started as now i feel somewhat normal. I've an 18mt old and i gave up tidying away after him until he goes to bed at 7. Then it only takes about 10 mins to fire everything back into its place ready for more distruction the following day.

But do any of you have just one friend/ neighbour who seems to be able to keep their house immaculate and everything in it's place

Well all i can see when i look out my front window is the woman across the road fixing her curtains and washing her windows! I mean a chance would be a fine thing!!

LorraineL

OMG, Tetris is a perfect description. It's like a daily grind of trying to make everything work, sometimes they all come crashing down on top of you but you keep at it and it all comes together in the end. I have a 6, 4 and 18 mnth old, currently 12 weeks pregnant so housework is totally at the bottom of the list.

Lizzykins

I knew a woman whose house was immaculate at any hour of the day or night. You could call 3am , 9pm etc etc and it would be sparkling. She said a number of years later that she hadn't spent enough time with the kids growing up. That was sad really.
Personally I do what I can and don't stress about the rest. Life's too short. Once everyone gets fed, goes to school on time, the clothes are washed, and the kitchen and bathroom aren't a health hazard then I'm cool!

Nevyn

It always reminds me of a scene in the witches of eastwich.

"I have to get home."
"What have you got to go home to?
There isn't anybody there, is there?
The kid will take care of herself.
She'll eat and fall asleep on the bed doing homework.
I promise."
"And house cleaning."
"You clean up the dirt, there's just more dirt tomorrow.
Make the beds, they just have to be made tomorrow.
Wash the dishes. There's more to wash tomorrow."
"-I have to make--" "-Make dinner?
It just gets eaten.
You've done your best, Alex.
You've done the wife bit, the motherhood bit.
The car pools, the vegetable garden...
...needlepoint, the macramé potholders...
...a cup of coffee with a neighbor in the morning...
...a couple of drinks, a couple of pills...
...a little psychoanalysis....
Where are you now, Alex?"
"Exactly where I want to be and I'm doing fine."
"Pretending to be somebody else... to be half of what you are.
How long can you last like that?"

The kids won't remember how clean or how much of a show house your home is, they will remember a stressed out Mammy. They will remember the laughs and giggles and time spent playing and learning, it's not mess it's fun and learning.

I don't want to spend my time and energy keeping a spotless house I want
to spend it with my kids and investing in them, when they are all grown up
the house will be tidy then. Real home are messy cos real people live in them.
( there is a difference between messy and dirty mind )

Currently all my downstairs floor are a mess, from all the wet weather and
people tracking in and out and if I don't get them washed today I won't
be upset over it, but if I don't get to spend at least two hours playing games
and talking to my kids and listening to them and laughing with them, then
I will be upset.

Many an evening after they go to bed I have looked at the sitting room in despair
and said Fúck it and closed the door on cos it can wait until morning.

IsThatSo?

I agree with the comments about the difference between untidy and unclean. I don't worry about toys strewn around and sometimes (as I am 39 weeks pg) I don't even tidy them in the evening. I just kick them into the corner and they will be dragged out again tomorrow.

My housework priority would be to keep kitchen and bathrooms clean, after that I relax. It will still be waiting for me tomorrow and I will get around to it eventually.

There are days though where I just go aaaaaaaaaargh :pac:

MLE

Thank God Im not alone.:D:D

the glass woman

Thaedydal wrote: »

Many an evening after they go to bed I have looked at the sitting room in despair
and said Fúck it and closed the door on cos it can wait until morning.

My downstairs is all open plan! I love it but there ain't no doors to close! I do tend to turn off all the lights in the evening so i can't see anything!!

TargetWidow

Throw a 44 hour working week into the mix (~so that there is absolutely no time to clean up anyway even if you had the energy) and you've got my house. Tetris describes it perfectly. And my little one is still only 10 months old. I've taken to eating my dinner in the living room on my lap some nights because I just cant muster the energy to do anything after the bottles have been cleaned/sterilised/made/cooled and the dinner cooked. I can manage the livingroom.... only just. I do this by eating my lunch at work in the quiet hour before lunch hour and coming home and doing a few minutes of tidying up and hovering etc on my lunch hour! At least this way I can spend quality time in a tidy environment with my DD when I get home in the afternoon. Hubby thinks his job is about to go. The idea of a househusband has come up in conversation. I'm not keen because in my house it would be a recipe for divorce because he's spend the day talking to friends on the phone and sending emails! The child would be minded but there would be as much housework for me as there is now but without his income coming in. I'm thinking of training him up to take over my business instead (trained monkey could do it!) and letting myself stay home a few days a week instead to do my own housework and spend time with DD. Those cleanfreak women with the perfect houses scare the bejaysus outta me too! The types that alphabetise the teatowels in the hotpress by colour name!No sex lives!:D

littlebug

feck it, they're only small for a little while. A friend was upset when her youngest stopped playing with toys at age 9. She sooo missed tripping over little tractors and animals and soldiers etc. I was in Mrssuperdoopercleanand tidywoman's house one day when her kids asked if they could do drawing and they got given one small sheet of paper and only 3 crayons each. I thought that was so stifling and sad We've a full art and craft cupboard that mine have free access to... i'm all for spontaneity in creativity. Feck the mess. I'll have all of those spur of the moment pictures, creations and contraptions for ever.

Wantobe

Tetris is such a good way of describing it! I try and keep all toys in the 'playroom' but they end up all over the place. The kitchen table is always covered in colouring papers and biros and markers, pencil cases and toppers etc etc. The playroom is supposed to have a specific area for dolls/their clothes/their accessories, but darned if they don't end up everywhere! I have a cleaner once a fortnight and end up running round the house like a madwoman the morning before she comes just so that she'll actually be able to clean some surfaces! Our 'office/computer room' is supposed to be off-limits but naturally this is where our two love to be. And don't get me started on their bedrooms! *deep breath* Anyway my oldest is 4.5 too, and she gets roped in to tidying up in the evenings before bed.

littlebitdull

I love your description of parenting young kids. And do you know my youngest is nine now and part of me misses the tetris game....

Believe me before you know it there are no toys and games all over your house. My DH used to come home to a big line of toys snaking down the house on rainy days as we used to see how big we could make the line. Self same two kiddies are not in from school now till almost 5pm, and its far from lines of toys we have to worry about.

I am so glad I used to live in an untidy house, where I spent my days on the floor with my kids... they are kids for such a short lenght of time - seems like its even shorter nowdays.

Enjoy.

lostinnappies

you are sooooooo not alone. I have two boyz of the same age and I think yesterday I swept and mopped the entire house TWICE. By the end of the day it was still a pigs stye. There is a constant smell of poopie nappies no matter where I put the bin or how much perfume i spray on my little fella lol. Its a never ending taks which will wear anyone down.