Question

LegacyUser

I am in my mid 30s. between certain circumstances I never had too many relationships and this ended mostly through my lack of expressing my feelings and factors which were outside my control also i suppose I never really committed to these relationships either in my eyes through lack of experience. I had made a big decision a while back in decideing were i was going in my life and I have accepted that I could be on my own for the rest of my life & was happy with this decision but i am having a bit of crisis

can anyone advise me what to do, it might not seem like a major problem to some people but this is tearing me up at present. when i look back now i have missed so many opportunites to be with someone.

any advise

OP

You have to work on punctuation, my friend.

OP wrote:

"I have accepted that I could be on my own for the rest of my life & was happy with this decision but i am having a bit of crisis"

Well then you must not be very happy with the conclusion you've come to.

You seem to yearn for a partner, but when with one, lose interest quickly. Maybe its a case of just not finding the right girl yet?


You're in your mid-30s. Trust me man, you've got plenty of time to make your mind up. There's no rush.


But wherever you're meeting women... Stop. It's obviously not working. Try other places (i won't try to recommend anywhere, as i don't know where you currently search).


You don't have a big problem man. Instead of deciding you'll be forever single, decide that you want to find the right girl.

Karen_*

Well if you get into another relationship then place equal importance to yourself, the other person and the relationship. Try and keep a balance between the three and not for example always put you first. Don't lose yourself either. Maybe see a counsellor with a view to being more open about how you feel.

You won't be on your own for the rest of your life OP. If you work on the things that caused you problems before and prioritise correctly then you've a great chance of having a lasting relationship.

Moon_Eyes

Sorry you feel so lonely right now.

I am in my mid thirties too, and I only met someone about a year ago, having spent a good 6 yrs as a singleton after a long term relationship that ended. You never know when it's going to happen, or if it will. Unfortunately it might not happen but then again half of people in their mid thirties in a relationship right now could be single by their forties. Everything's transient. It only seems like things will stay the same when you're down in yourself, because you're having such a crappy time, ever notice that? Like, when you're happy and you feel gret about stuff you're contantly worried it'll be taken away from you and time literally flies as they say? .....

What I really found a help for me was to keep going out, (and I don't mean going out and getting off my head drunk, a few beers, yep but nothing too mad!) as much as I could, meeting people and seeing music I was into etc.

Then it really did happen when I didn't expect it. I won't lie and say I wasn't looking because I really wanted to meet someone, but I certainly wasn't expecting it when it did happen, I was just going out to enjoy myself. And I didn't know at the time where it would go etc...as in, I was willing to just be that person's friend as I genuinely just felt I liked them.

I think the key is start enjoying yourself doing exactly what you like to do, and something happens that will just eventually lead you to meeting someone with similar tastes etc. Begin indulging in what makes you tick in life. I don't know if that's any comfort or help but I hope so, and I hope you meet someone nice in time, just hang on and remember what YOU like in life, and with a little bit of luck you may meet someone nice after that who you can share stuff with. Good luck

Pigman III

If you are happy in what you predicted the rest of your life to be like, then there is absolutly no need to be worried, how come you have this crisis, if you know you're gonna be alright?