Not a fighter

LegacyUser

I have never really been into fighting. In fact i am very unassertive and will sometimes let people walk all over me. I had a very sheltered upbringing. When i was younger i got bullied a lot. i would never stand up for myself. I always saw myself as very cowardly. It was only when i got a bit older i realised not everybody is into fighting.But i would bottle up a lot of anger even now to this day. Sometimes i wont even put my point across let alone argue back. When i got a bit older i got attacked on 2 occasions. The 2nd time was completely random and i was nervous for a while walking past drunk people

Recently however my younger brother got attacked twice. The first time was a friend of his who hadnt drank for years because he would go berserk. Well he had a few a few drinks and went berserk. My brother thought the guy was going to kill him. The brother never told me. I only found out when a stranger threatened me over! At the time i didnt realise he was threatening me

The second time he got attacked was when he was talking to a guy who used to be in the army. The guy was showing some other people a army move he knew. And then with no warning broke his (upper) arm


After this happened i was full of rage for a while and on one occasion i picked on someone smaller than me. The reason i was annoyed was not just just because he got attacked but because someone threatened him over it through me and i didnt realise it. I read somewhere that something that happens your family can sometimes effect you worse

Not sure why i am posting this but part of it can i at this stage of my life (in my 30s) learn to defend myself? and also to stand up for myself?

RossFixxxed

There are tons of self defence/martial arts out there.

They are good as you can learn the physical defense, but MORE importantly you can learn the psychological side too. You may gain more confidence etc in yourself. The last thing any decent person wants to do is to kick the **** out of someone so this side is extremely important.

Krav Maga is good for basic self defense, the first lesson is running. As in how to run away. That's safest, and from there how to defend according to level of threat.

Also be aware that despite all the trainnig in the world these knackers on the street have a lot of REAL fighting experince which is far better tbh, they've lost the fear, and even enjoy it.

Don't go to a class with unrealistic expectations, but you could learn a lot about yourself, how to be assertive, and how to take someone down! And it's fun!

Ross

Caoimhín

Maybe you could join a boxing club? Its great for getting fit and you will learn to handle yourself.

However, i think you may benefit more from learning to be more assertive. Most people who can really handle themselves are rarely in fights. Its all about body language and using your brain to get out of trouble before things become physical. Most good self defence classes will tell you that the best form of defence is to walk away (or run is needs be). There is feck all point in being brave then ending up in hospital with a knife wound or worse.

Mr. Incognito

As someone who did martial arts for years anyone who knows how to fight very very rarely does.

It resolves nothing.

I'd be proud of not being a fighter rather than proud of being and a$$hole who goes around picking fights.

RossFixxxed

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

As someone who did martial arts for years anyone who knows how to fight very very rarely does.

It resolves nothing.

I'd be proud of not being a fighter rather than proud of being and a$$hole who goes around picking fights.

Couldn't put it better myself! (Hence my rambling)

No harm to learn the basics, but assertiveness and confidence seem to be the real issues.

Good luck OP

Terodil

Pigman III wrote: »

What?

lolwut?

seriously...

@OP: Learn to pick your fights. Most physical fights are not worth fighting in the first place, what's the worst that could happen if you ran away? some idiots would think you're a coward. Who gives a damn about those numbnuts' opinions? The real fights (for principles, love, ...) are fought with wit rather than brawn.

Nothingcompares

hold on, this guy is in his 30s and he's talking about getting into school boy fights? cop your selves on tbh.

humanji

Nailz wrote: »

Edit: And Pub07, I don't particularly like your atitude and name calling toward me, stop acting the internet tough guy.

Given Pigman's description of the incident, it doesn't show you in a very good light. It's not Pub07 who you should be offended by.

OP, as said, fighting solves nothing. Learning to defend yourself is one thing, but you sound as if you want to go out and start fights. Maybe do some sort of course on becoming more assertive, rather than something to make you more violent. It'll pay off more.

And if you keep feeling a rage building up, do an anger management course or see a councillor before you or someone else is hurt. It's not healthy to let anger build up but violence against someone else isn't a healthy way to release it.

Dragan

Unregistered wrote: »

Not sure why i am posting this but part of it can i at this stage of my life (in my 30s) learn to defend myself? and also to stand up for myself?

Of course you can. You are 30 years old, not dead.

Personally i maintain the opinion that while you should not go looking for fights, you should at the very least be capable of defending yourself and those that you care about.

With regard to studying a martial art, some of them are good, some of them are bad when it comes to their real world application as self defence procedures. I would probably recommend boxing, Muay Thai and MMA as being 3 very good disciplines that will give you some carry over into the real world. KM and the likes, as already mentioned, are fine but they fall apart in terms of people finding it tough to train consistantly. If you want to get good at something, you need to drill it over and over again. 2 to 3 classes a week in most arts would be fine.

The real secret behind Martial Arts and the vast majority of the people who practice them are the fact that it balances them out. The train in physical confrontation so feel no need to really fear it. This confidence goes a long way to allowing you to stay calm in the initial stages of most agressive situations and deal with them in a better manner than letting your fists fly.

LegacyUser

you can definatley learn to defend yourself at 30. But my advice would be stay away from self defence classes. Go to something like mma, boxing, muay thai or kickboxing. There u'll be involved in a sport, you'll get to watch urself improve and build your confidence. The truth is,if someone wants to hurt you...a 4 week self defence class isnt going to help, you need to have the reflexs ingrained into you..so if you are ejoying i, gettin fit, meeting new people and learning how to throw a punch or kick it will be much more benifical to you that just learning some move which isnt realistic or will be forgotten in 2 weeks

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies

RossFixxxed wrote: »

There are tons of self defence/martial arts out there.

They are good as you can learn the physical defense, but MORE importantly you can learn the psychological side too. You may gain more confidence etc in yourself. The last thing any decent person wants to do is to kick the **** out of someone so this side is extremely important.

Don't go to a class with unrealistic expectations, but you could learn a lot about yourself, how to be assertive, and how to take someone down! And it's fun!

Ross

Yes i think this is what i need the psychological aspect. Also i think i need to more assertive or something

I didnt want to be an asshole starting fights but i think i was always ashamed of letting myself being pushed over. Also what happened to my brother i think put me into a sort of shock i think


Not sure why i made the post i think i just needed to get an opinion or something

LegacyUser

Hi,
I wouldn't be bothered about fighting...

I'd just be getting your brother to go to the guards/solicitor regarding assault - that guy who broke your bro's arm was we'll out of order...

HTH

Wibbs

Nailz and Pigman III, take a week off for major off topic discussion. I mean at what point did you think this was msn? Read the charter

Big Wave

Nothingcompares wrote: »

hold on, this guy is in his 30s and he's talking about getting into school boy fights? cop your selves on tbh.

Do you know what "tbh" means?

LegacyUser

unregged222 wrote: »

Hi,
I wouldn't be bothered about fighting...

I'd just be getting your brother to go to the guards/solicitor regarding assault - that guy who broke your bro's arm was we'll out of order...

HTH

I think he is afraid to. he seems to be a complete psychopath