At the end of my rope

LegacyUser

I'm actually not sure what there is to my life anymore. I have no friends, no boyfriend, no family to talk to, no confidence, no direction in life, no interests. Everything at the moment is just driving me crazy. I think every day that i can't handle everything. But the only other option is suicide. and i'm too much of a coward for that. I actually don't even know why i wouldn't do it. can't even think of a reason.

I've talked to samaritans, they're absolutely no good BTW, well at least not for me. I emailed to just have someone that cares, and someone to talk to, thinking they'd be interested, but i dunno, i didn't get what i expected anyway. Every thing is just such a huge mess, and i don't have a way out. I feel like my mind is just going to switch off, or something because i can't handle this for much longer.

I'm not looking for sympathy, I just absolutely have no idea what to do.

Overheal

At the end of that rope, is a floor, not a pit of jagged spikes.

Just step down for a minute and think about what you have, not what you dont have. Some people can get by knowing they have their health and the clothes on their back. Stop trying to hang on to the rope thats full of things you dont have and go find another one to climb up.

LegacyUser

Give me examples of things that i could say i have....? Because to me it feels i don't have anything

Sucidal thoughts, cutting yourself from the people around you, lost of appreciation in your interests, feeling agitated and overwhelmed.

These can be symptons of depression.

If I were you, I'd go talk to my gp.

cantdecide

It's too easy to feel bad or bitter about how life has dealt you a bad hand. You probably look around and think how every person around you see was born with more feathers in their cap. We are not born equal and even if you would have been born better looking, more outgoing and charismatic, taller, shorter, whatever... there is still every chance you would still feel this way today.

You can't deny that everyone has unique strengths and weaknesses. If you are lonely, you need to work harder on making new relationships and friendships and not lament your lack of ability to make them easily like some can. Recognise your strengths and work on your weaknesses. It's up to you to make the best of what you are and start by waking up tomorrow and telling yourself that you're a happy, contented person. It won't take long to realise it's true...

minidazzler

A coward commits suicide, what you need is some vitality, some fun in your life.

DO you have a Job? Got Money?

Well go travelling or something, real travelling, none of this direct to destination, drink, come home.

Get a flight to Paris, start their and just travel, you will meet wonderful people in Youth Hostels.

I know it helps to have someone to talk to, but what helps more is to have something to live for.

Set yourself goals, like, I wanna spit off the Eiffle Tower(I did this, I laughed). I wanna stand next to the pyramids. I wanna Go for a drink with a random person from the youth Hostel. I wanna see every county in Ireland.

Do something fulfilling, I don't know you so I don't know if you like to travel, but you don't seem to be happy where you are!!!!

Really though, Suicide is a way outta nothing.

Even if you only have a small amount of money to start, you could travel and work in Irish Bars for a couple of nights to cover food and travel to your next destination.

Too many people are depressed about they're lives but do nothing to remedy that situation, you can remedy it.

Set yourself 1 year or 6 months to just do what you WANT to do, not something that is expected of you!!!!

Just save a bit of money up and start a good long trip to whereever!!!! It will feed the soul!!!

LegacyUser

Moonbaby wrote: »

Sucidal thoughts, cutting yourself from the people around you, lost of appreciation in your interests, feeling agitated and overwhelmed.

These can be symptons of depression.

If I were you, I'd go talk to my gp.

I'm not cutting myself off from people around me.My mam is sick, i'm not close enough to anyone else in my family to consider they might care, i have one friend (that is only like half a friend, that doesn't seem to want to talk to me about anything serious). I actually have no one. And ya I probably have made it this way through my own personality, but i really don't know what to do.Right now i just don't have the energy for any of it.

And i just don't have any interests. Besides that I'm absolutely mentally bogged down with college work ( i even feel edgy for spending so much time on writing all this, cos i should be working).

But besides feeling crazy under pressure now, i am usually quite down a lot. Mostly from lack of self confidence, etc. I actually think I might have body dysmorphia, but thats a whole other story.

I've so much work to do, no one to talk to, no fun, no life, nothing to look forward to. I wake up, go to college,stay as long as i can, come home have my medication, go to bed, struggle to sleep for a while, and then do it all again. Its not like i want a social life,i don't, don't expect to have one in fourth year anyway, i just want someone to talk to, that cares about me. And i don't mind working all the time, but i just never get anywhere. i struggle all the time with everything i have to work on.

There's no point going to a gp, he'll just send me to a counsellor, the ones through the college are no help, and i don't have time anyway. At most he'll give me something to take, like xanax, which i already take (my mother gave me some for panic attacks, and helping me sleep), but i don't like to take them, plus they don't get rid of the problem.

I'm constantly worried about things, and i don't know where anything is going to lead me. when i finish college in may, i have to move out of my house, and i'll be living by myself, and i think at that point I will go crazy.

sam34

minidazzler wrote: »

A coward commits suicide
QUOTE]

what a judgemental, unhelpful and inaccurate comment.

you clearly have no concept of the anguish, turmoil and despair that goes hand in hand with depression and suicidal behaviour.

suicide is often the act of a very desperate person and it is not an easy choice to make.

Schnooks

Hi OP, sorry to hear things are getting on top of you. A couple of things struck me from your last post, and I would lime to ask you a few questions.

You said your Mam is sick at the moment. Is this a long-term illness if you don't mind my asking? I probably don't have to tell you that you shouldn't accept meds from her that are not prescribed for you.

Why do you think that no-one else in your family cares about you? If this is true, how long has it felt like this for you? Why do you feel you have to move out of home in May? And if you do move out, why do you think you will have to live on your own? Some of the best times when you move out of home can be house-sharing with people who, until you moved in, were complete strangers.

It sounds like you are under some terrible pressure with your college work, and this is contributing majorly to your stress. It also sounds like you are suffering from very low self-esteem, and your stress - both college and family-realted - seems to be giving you a very negative self-image, so negative that you are equating the fact that you don't have a boyfriend with being a failure of sorts. A boyfriend won't make you feel any better till you feel better in your own skin. And, without trying to sound patronising, you are so young and have so much ahead of you, that you will have plenty time for finding that special person.

If I could offer one simple piece of advice it is this - go easy on yourself.

You are under alot of stress with what is going on with your Mam and college, and not having a great social life. I'm assuming that your choice of college course is something you want to do, so I'm not going to suggest you jack it in when you are in 4th year. So get your college thing under your belt and see how you are doing then. In the meantime take some time out from the books, even an hour here or there.

Put on the ipod (if you have one, I don't ) and go for a long walk. If you are anywhere near the coast, have a walk on the nearest beach, or if there is a woods nearby, go for a walk there. Or just stroll down the road, but try and get out of the house/college for an hour each day. Give yourself a bit of time-out from everyone and everything that seem to be causing you stress at the moment. You deserve a break as you are working so hard on all fronts.

Without going into the many PI's that I have had, I always found exercise a great way to just switch off, or to think more clearly. Either way, it won't do you any harm.

Good luck, my heart goes out to you, and please let us know how you are getting on, or feel free to register and PM me. There are some great people here with alot of life experience - I have got some great advice here as an unreg user.

And minidazzler -

A coward commits suicide

I know you mean well, but that is not going to help someone who is feeling low.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

I have no friends, no boyfriend, no family to talk to, no confidence, no direction in life, no interests.

I would say look for the evidence which contradicts this.
No friends - I'm sure that's not true. Turn to someone you like and say that and Id say they'd be very surprised. I bet there is someone who regards you as a good friend.
No boyfriend - who cares. Loads of people are single and are very happy. Loads of people are not single and very unhappy. The boyfriend will come in time.
No family to talk to - this would indicate you have family but don't normally talk to them about personal things. Give it a try. I find it excellent. And you open up to them I bet they will open up to you. You will learn that things for them are not all rosey for them either.
No confidence - I'm sure there are things you've done things you've achieved which show that you have confidence.
...
You could well be clinically depressed. I would advise you go to your GP and get a diagnosis. It is a great waste for someone to take their own life without at least asking their Doctor for treatment.

dcukhunter

Hi op i'm sorry to hear your feeling so stressed right now but there are people who will help you. One of my close friends was feeling much the same last year and he felt he could not talk to anyone about it and at one stage he had stoped eating as well only making things worse. We managed to get him to go to the gp and he was set to a shrink, although it took him a while to get back to himself he is feeling a lot better now and he is back looking for a job, bad time I know but at least now he is not bothered by it and is looking forward to a new challange.
Also you say you have no one to talk to I dont know you or your family so maybe thats true but somehow I would doubt thats the case. My mate was the same we tried talking to him all the time even if your living away from your family most are just a call away if they know whats going on i'm sure they will do everything they can to help you.
My advice get yourself to the gp, try and get in touch with your family (might be hard but they will help you) and as Schnooks said try and get out even just for an hour to give yourself a break. Go for a walk a run get a book you wanted to read and go for a coffee anything just to break the routine your in.
I hope all works out for you and post back so we know how you are doing.:)

Doop

I've been through a similar epsoide myself. Like yourself i had many external things affecting me, long term sick mother, parents separating, and a few more to boot. One of the things i learned is that all these external things do affect you weather you realise it or not.

One or 2 points i learned in hindsight (after i came out the far side of it) are...
Depression is an illness, one which you need to get treated for, your gp is a start.

College counsillers are known for not really being able to deal with these situations.

Your not a coward for not commiting suicide, it takes a great deal of strength to keep going.

You'll get past it, and begin to enjoy life again. People dont ordinarly consider suicide, therefore there is something not right at the moment for you, and you need to acknowledge this, and get help.

As the above posts suggest you could try and some positive changes in your life, but if your wrapped up in deppression your never going to do them, you need to address the present issue before moving on. The issue being you are probably suffering from depression.

KyussBishop

Unregistered wrote: »

There's no point going to a gp, he'll just send me to a counsellor, the ones through the college are no help, and i don't have time anyway. At most he'll give me something to take, like xanax, which i already take (my mother gave me some for panic attacks, and helping me sleep), but i don't like to take them, plus they don't get rid of the problem.

Ask your GP for a referral to a psychologist that practices Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, as that is effective as a treatment for both BDD and depression; it's not a 'crutch' like medication, the psychologist helps you to actually work at the underlying problems (e.g. thought patterns, irrational beliefs etc.).

It requires effort on your part though; the psychologist helps you along, but you need to make an effort to practice the methods, so as to counter irrational beliefs etc., and continue to do so even when done seeing the psychologist.

Here's some more info:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder#Treatments
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_Behavior_Therapy
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder#Psychotherapy


If you ever feel (or are close to feeling) bad enough that you might actually attempt suicide, talk to your GP about it and have yourself sectioned if you need to.

Overheal

Your mother wouldnt be the most professional or impartial source of medication. And for all you know the xanax could be responsible for aggrivating your emotions causing you to want to kill yourself. You don't take them often, but you wont know unless you go to a GP.

Also saying you dont have the time? Assuming you're ready to off yourself, wouldn't you have all the time in the world? You would if you broke a leg or got the flu; why should feelings of suicide be any different?

Ive been in the same situation in college. There was 6 weeks there I just left a scalpel on the desk and regularly thought about jamming it into my eye socket. Eventually though I just spelled out the problems to the counselor, and conferenced with my department head to lay down a concrete work and study plan for the rest of the year and then I just stuck to it. Got out of the depression and passed the year.

But that was my 1st year, and youre in 4th year: you're so close! Take the steps with the counselor and your tutors and the next few months will be done before you know it, and you'll have your degree - so you do have something

minidazzler

minidazzler wrote: »

A coward commits suicide

Not that im trying to promote or condone the action, but thats a ridiculous statement to make.


Anyway,

OP: I know how you feel to be honest. Things can always seem very tough, and if Samaritans aren't helping you out, I'm sure you could always talk to someone on here. People here are generally nice. Hell, i'd be more than happy to converse with you via email.

If you'd like to, you can get my email address at my profile under contact info:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/member.php?u=135718




As i say, times are pretty tough on a lot of people, and it can feel like you're alone, but you shouldn't feel that way OP. There'll always be someone there to talk to.

I know people often reply to these kind of threads with "sure go to a group meeting about something you like" but obviously even considering doing it can be a very daunting feeling.

Making your post here was a nice start, at least you are trying to take your life into perspective and figure out where you're going.


I really hope things work out for you OP.

RossFixxxed

Hey OP,

Look, I've been there, and I've said it before I thought I'd be the last person to be posting 'chin up' type posts. However, YOU will have to be instrumental to changing yourself. There is a weird "comfort in being sad" (sorry to quote Nirvana, blurrgh) and I've found it's almost easier to sink than to make a determined effort.

The thing is though it DOES get easier, and not only easier but good. You need to really buckle down. I've gone from wallowing and being as low as it gets, and now in march I'm off to Everest to fulfil one of my dreams. Never thought I'd get this far.

I'm not rubbing this in your face, I'm trying to make you see it IS possible. Go to your GP, listen to ANYTHING (s)he has to say. Try what you get prescribed and GIVE IT TIME TO WORK (these things can take a little). Do as many things to improve the quality of your life (even if they seem silly).... Meditate, get more exercise, eat healthier, lay off the coffee, do NOT drink, stay off the toking etc etc. It wil all add up.

PM or mail if you want to I can talk further!

Best of luck!
R

Moon_Eyes

Deleted User wrote: »

If you'd like to, you can get my email address at my profile under contact info:

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/member.php?u=135718

That is one of the nicest replies I've ever seen in this forum, kudos.
OP, it really does sound like you need definitely to go get talking, and there are so many counsellors, sometimes it is a matter of going to as many as you need to until you find one that's helping you. It's not easy.

I don't think it's easy to be miserable. It takes less effort physically and mentally,yes, but it's somehow more draining which is a contradiction but I think that's how it works, for me it is, anyway.

Trying to fix it isn't easy either, there just isn't an easy way when you feel down. But, just look at responses you're getting from strangers...people are so nice sometimes.

It's really hard to concentrate on the good things moreso than the bad when they seem equal in measure or you are naturally more prone to a negative outlook. I am naturally very prone to being negative. What I find helpful sometimes is to try challenging myself internally and questioning myself (as in saying "just because I tend to be negative, what makes me so right anyway?") By deliberately concentrating on the good you'll get more out of your life, and it's worth the effort, even though it seems like it's taking an age to sort through it, it'll be worth it, and the above poster is definitely right when they said you've made a huge start in just letting it out here. Best of luck to you.

RossFixxxed

I don't think it's easy to be miserable. It takes less effort physically and mentally,yes, but it's somehow more draining which is a contradiction but I think that's how it works, for me it is, anyway.

I do agree, but you know what I mean right? They way your brain/feelings seem to just give up and let you get very down, but then you end up feeling MORE exhausted. It's a bit of a paradox!

You seem like you've seen the benefit in one small change though and that's fantastic. Keep it up!

Trying to fix it isn't easy either

No it isn't. But it does get easier, I promise you that. It really really does. You wouldn't believe the difference over the days, months and years you can do.

Honestly, and I know how hippy, new age it sounds, try meditation. Also talk to a GP, keep your options open and keep at it. Sure you'll fall down, and any of us here will help you up. Even if i have to drive over and physically poke you with a stick!

R

Das Kitty

Unregistered wrote: »

I have no friends

I think the most important friend you don't have is yourself.

You need to get help, if you don't like yourself, it's going to be very hard to help yourself.

Just so you know, there are positive things in your life, you just need a hand to see them again.

Good luck missus.

LegacyUser

OP here

Thanks so much for all the positive comments esp KKV and R.

Just to clear up a few things:

I didn't mean that I have no boyfriend, so that means i'm a failure, i mean as in i have no one. I just broke up with my bf, and we're in such an awkward place.

Another thing is I have to move out in may, and because of my own personality (learnt from past situations) I can't seem to get on with anyone (especially people i live with). so that's why i'll have to live by myself.

I don't have money to be going travelling. I've been in college for years, and so don't have much saved. Have enough saved to get me to june.?Have to get a job, and that'll be quite difficult by the looks of things. And no i don't like what i'm doing in college. So it probably won't be my career.

I can't talk to my family because it might be nice to think they're there for me, but they're not. My mam has cancer (third time round) and so her and my dad are worn out, dad's on the verge of being put out of work. My sis has two children, my bro manages a pub.No has time for me, and i don't hold it against them at all. I know they have their own things.

I can't stress how little time i have, so it's not very feasible to think of taking an hour off every day to read a book, or go for a walk. I feel like everyone will just think i'm making excuses but I have SO MUCH work to do. My dissertation is due in 4 weeks ( haven't even a quarter done, never mind my project). and i'm getting assignments all the time...

And to add to everything that one half of a friend I had basically has fallen out with me now. I tried one night to talk to him, and he wouldn't even take anything serious for literally two minutes, so i got pissed off. he apologised and said he knows he should be more serious about things. But he hasn't asked me to talk since. So that was kinda bothering me, plus something else, and i haven't really spoken much on track with him since. but tuesday morning he asked to borrow notes to photocopy, i gave them to him, in the meantime tues evening I was trying to work away, and he just kept talking (to himself mostly, but still distracting) i asked him to be quiet, but he wouldn't, i ended up just going home. Then yesterday morning I needed the notes back for the class (assumed he had photocopied them by then) asked for them, got them. Then today after classes he texts me and says he's pissed off for me asking for my notes back. apparently he wasn't done with them. said that I was cold and that it was rude, and that people should be less selfish. I didn't text back (feeling a bit panicky at this point), he was in the same place as me but down a few rows, so he came over. In the middle of this big place, with loads of people, he just starts saying he expected more of me, etc. I'd already been down (as i am) and i couldn't even talk, so couldn't help just crying my eyes out there (which for me is unusual, i try to never cry in front of people) He went away a min later, and i just left. Could hardly concentrate then could i.
He texted me since and said it doesn't matter, but in a way that i know he's not really going to be the same with me. I texted back and said he's right, i'm nasty and selfish, and i don't know why he bothers talking to me.

What am i meant to do? I was pissed off with him as he's shown no interest in talking things over with me, but said to myself right maybe don't consider him so much of a friend. Then he's pissed off with me for taking my notes back as if i was meant to know it'd take more than a day to photocopy them! I just felt so defeated when he came over to me. I thought i really have no one that cares.

And you all seem really nice, but having someone to me just seems like it should be more of a permanent thing, like seeing that person and chatting about things every day. I dunno, maybe it would help. I am registered just didn't want to be recognisable, even though by my story i am anyway.

LegacyUser

im in the same situation as you. I feel alone and i feel lonely in this world. I dont know what it is all about i have not much of a close family i dont feel like have enought strength to do the life thing but to be honest we are only here in the world temporalily. I try to think that there is always some one far worse than me i have a roof over my head i have my health i am not straving i live in a peaceful country. I dont have what i need emotionally but i believe there is always some one worse who will need you someone that you can make smile or you can make their day by a smile and a kind word. That is what keeps me going. life is hard for some people it takes courage to live because maybe if you wernt alive the world would be worse

OP; If you don't like your college course, and seem fairly definite that it won't be your career, why are you bothering to put yourself under so much pressure over it?


I never had any interest in going to college, so i'm not exactly sure how it all goes down in such an institute, but wouldn't you be better off leaving?

Get yourself down to FAS? The country's already in the toilet job-wise. So you could do a few courses with FAS, and see if there's any course you end up on and think "Hey, this actually isn't so bad" and when the country runs its recession cycle and starts to pick up again, you'll at least have a fair idea of where you want to be in your life (incidentally, i have no direction in my life at all, so the above is actually my plan for my future).


As for moving out, you can always still move in with someone. Judging from your posts, you seem like the kind of person that just wants to mind your own business and keep to yourself. I'm sure there are many people out there that would be more than happy to have you.

As for your personality getting in the way of living with people; It's not something I'd worry about. I have, literally, three friends. Only one of whom i see with any regularity. When i first met them all I felt horribly awkward and couldn't make conversation. Kept thinking in my head of anything and everything i could say to them to make conversation. I met one of them whilst queueing up for WWE wrestling tickets. So we pretty much stood in silence for hours on end, occassionally nodding at each other and trying to make small talk. It was only when i kept bumping into the guy at an internet cafe that i actually started to feel a little more comfortable talking to him.


I know im banging on here, but what i'm trying to say is that you should try out living with people. It may be a disastrous attempt the first time or two, but you will eventually find someone who you don't mind sharing with.


I can't really comment on your boyfriend situation, to be honest. I'm the most experience person when it comes to relationships, so my advice here should be taken very, very lightly: But it seems to me that he's causing you a lot of unnecessary hassle. Complaining to you because he wanted to take his time with the notes, etc.

Cant you explain to him how you are feeling, and how he is making you feel? I'm sure it wouldn't be the most comfortable conversation you could have with him, but it sounds to me like you need to say something. A relationship involves two people and both should be happy with it, not just one person (again, not familiar with yourself or your boyfriend, for all i know you could be happy a majority of the time, I'm just going on your above posts and replying on how i comprehend them, personally).


As i've said before, you can always feel free to PM/email me if you like. I do very little with my days anyway, so i'd be happy to email you back and forth. I know you probably wouldn't feel very comfortable with it, but the offer is there if you would like to.


Reardless of whatever may happen, and as i've said already, i do hope this all works out for you. (also, as for being a registered user, unless you've got about 10,000 posts, most of which you've detailed your life in, i doubt anyone will be able to figure out who you are ).

CDfm

Yep- this is a job for your GP.

Get yourself down there this morning - these days there is no reason to suffer from depression with all the treatments available:)

LegacyUser

Deleted User wrote: »

OP; If you don't like your college course, and seem fairly definite that it won't be your career, why are you bothering to put yourself under so much pressure over it?


I know im banging on here, but what i'm trying to say is that you should try out living with people. It may be a disastrous attempt the first time or two, but you will eventually find someone who you don't mind sharing with.


I can't really comment on your boyfriend situation, to be honest. I'm the most experience person when it comes to relationships, so my advice here should be taken very, very lightly: But it seems to me that he's causing you a lot of unnecessary hassle. Complaining to you because he wanted to take his time with the notes, etc.

Cant you explain to him how you are feeling, and how he is making you feel? I'm sure it wouldn't be the most comfortable conversation you could have with him, but it sounds to me like you need to say something. A relationship involves two people and both should be happy with it, not just one person (again, not familiar with yourself or your boyfriend, for all i know you could be happy a majority of the time, I'm just going on your above posts and replying on how i comprehend them, personally).


As i've said before, you can always feel free to PM/email me if you like. I do very little with my days anyway, so i'd be happy to email you back and forth. I know you probably wouldn't feel very comfortable with it, but the offer is there if you would like to.

.

Well i've bothered with college because i've never been sure what i wanted to do, so picked this, and only reason i don't like it much is because i'm no good at it. Thing is i'm in fourth year now, 3 months left, so it'd hardly be too smart to drop out now. i'd have no degree at all if i do that. I've put myself under pressure because my parents want me to do well. My dad is always worried about money, so don't want to fail, how much of a waste would the past four years be then..?

I've lived in rented accommodation for 5 or so years, living with 8 different groups of people, and quite a few i left under bad circumstances. I didn't get on with most of them. So i'm not just saying i don't get on living with people, i actually don't. I'm a perfectionist (to a point) and most people i've lived with (and ever come across) were so laid back, and just didn't care about the same things like having a reasonably clean house, and not having people over til 5 in the morning. etc. So i know i can't live with people, at least until i learn to 'live' with people, if you know what i mean.

The thing about the notes is about a friend, not my ex boyfriend. Things is that i probably haven't been such a good friend to him either, so i can't really expect better from him.....

KKV i am registered, so i'll think about it. I might pm you. I kinda don't want to though cos most people end up not being able to stand me anymore after a time. so don't really want to know another person that doesn't like me

Thanks for the responses anyway...Can't say i'm feeling better, but at least i've had some people at least semi interested listening to me...

Oh and CDfm if i thought for a second my doctor would just prescribe something I would go, but i know it'll be the counsellor he'll send me to, and i just don't have the time. besides it being useless...but thanks again anyway

Oh right, i didn't realise how far along you were in college. I agree, dropping out now would most likely be a bit of a mistake. Just try to not feel so pressured though. I know its pretty easy for me to say that, considering I'm not in your situation, but is there any way you can spread your work over a longer period of time, so you're not buried with stuff to do? Or would that only result in you having to play catch up for the next few months?

As for you "not being good at college", i don't think that's a big deal really. I know plenty of people who went to college (and school) and sucked at it, but still ended up getting jobs they were happy with. Don't get me wrong, They're not scientists or doctors, but they're still pretty happy, and thats what matters most to them.


I can kinda see what you're saying about living with people now, but it sounds like you may have ended up living with a lot of assholes in your time. If i were living with people like you've described above, I probably wouldn't be happy either.


Not sure if i agree about the friend thing (ie; you haven't been a good friend to him, so he's not being one in return). That doesn't really seem much like friendship to me. Although everyone's different, so..


You can PM me whenever you like. What's the worst that can happen. You seem like a really nice person, and you really shouldn't worry about me not liking you. Whether i can't stand you or fall in love with you, I'm just a guy on the internet. my opinion of you shouldn't affect you. If you don't want to PM me that's completely understandable. You're bound to feel awkward at first. But you shouldn't worry about whether i'll have a dislike for you or not. I'm sure you're a nice person. You just don't realise it.


You're not going to feel better instantly after making a PI thread, and you probably should consider visiting a GP (again, easy for me to say as im not the one in your situation. I associate GPs with physical injuries/pain. I've often tried to imagine what the appointment would go like if you approached a GP with a mental issue and i really can't picture it. So i'm not going to asy you need to go to a GP, i will say, you should at least consider it, but it sounds like you've done so already).



Again OP, I wish you the best. Just try and relax a little more. It could always be worse.