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Angry with partner for losing job

  • 03-02-2009 8:51pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My partner was unexpectedly let go from his job last week. I know a lot of people are losing their jobs because of the recession. But this wasn't the case with my partner. HR told him he was being let go because his work wasn't up to scratch, he wasn't meeting deadlines, he was coming in late everyday, taking too long lunch breaks, too many sick days etc etc. Maybe this was an excause, but there are no other cut-backs in the company, and he himself admits he was having some problems in work, because he wasn't happy.

    I'm trying to be as supportive and positive as possible, and haven't let on to him how upset and angry I am. But I am really angry with him. I feel like he should have been really putting in the effort in work, and doing everything possible to keep his job. Especially because of the way everything is with the economy, and how difficult it will be to get a new job. And mostly because we're expecting our second baby.

    Does anyone have any advice on how to cope with all this? Am I completely unreasonable for being upset with him? I don't think talking to him about how I feel will help. It might just make things worse by upsetting him and distracting him from searching for a new job. All I've said to him is to try and take on board what HR said, and not make the same mistakes again.


Comments

  • Posts: 50,630 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    How long has your partner been in this job? have they given him warnings in the past? if he has been there longer than a year and has had no warnings he may be able to do them for unfair dismissal


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 515 ✭✭✭St Bill


    You're not unreasonable for being upset....you've both got a lot on your plate. I'm assuming though you're together a few years at least, I'm sure you'll be able to tell him about your worries, but be prepared to listen to his worries too (seeing as his job wasn't working out for him). And another thing, you've both only found out that he's lost his job, give yourselves time to adjust before wading in.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,420 ✭✭✭Lollipops23


    if your partner knows he was taking the piss then i'd be really mad.does he agree that he did all that HR said?
    had this been 2 years ago and he behaved like this because he's unhappy in his job/wants a change of scenery/in a rut i'd have said more power to him but right now the time for that kind of fancy-free behaviour has passed. he has responsibilites and a lot of people are just having to grin and bear it for the time being. It's crap but he needs to be a man and put his(expanding)family first,it's not like you can keep working. He's putting you under extra stress and he needs to grow a pair IMHO.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,800 ✭✭✭Senna


    HR have given him two very different reasons for being let go. Deadlines being missed and work not up to scratch could mean he was trying hard but it was beyond his control.
    But being late for work, too many sick days and long lunches shows that he was putting his own unhappiness before providing for his family.
    You have every right to be angry and you would be well within your rights to tell him how disappointed you are.


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 93,563 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Was he in the job less than a year ?

    Was he permament ?

    Were there any verbal or written warnings prior to being let go ?

    IIRC you aren't entitled to any notice in the first year :(


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