Under-age drinking

LegacyUser

Hi! I have a 16 and a half year son. I was in his room the other day and I found vodka bottle's and drink cans. I'm really worried about him because I know he is being bullied at school and i think he might be trying to escape this through alcohol. How will I talk to him about this issue?

Victor

I think its experimentation, just like other 16 year olds.

Yes you need to talk, but you need to talk to both the young adult and the child.

RedXIV

What makes you think he's being bullied?

Just because if he's not, then you approaching him with "I think you drink to escape the horror of being bullied" is going to get you nowhere.

Alot of teenagers drink at his age. I was drinking from 16 and still went on to do a pretty good leaving cert. If you disapprove of him drinking, let him know but don't think you'll be able to stop him, teenagers almost always find a way

petethebrick

Yes, a lot of teenagers that age drink. I was the same, drank form age 14/15 onwards but I will say one thing - at that age I didn't leave cans or vodka bottles lying about my room...even though the parents knew I drank a bit I kept it outside the house. Is he drinking on his own at home - in that case I would be worried if it was a regular occurence. Just chat to him.

ahaaha

RedXIV wrote: »

What makes you think he's being bullied?

Just because if he's not, then you approaching him with "I think you drink to escape the horror of being bullied" is going to get you nowhere.

i totally agree - the drink and the bullying conversation should not happen simultaneously. you are offering him the excuse for drinking.....

most kids drink, and once they mind themselves and are responsible they'll be fine. i drank since 15, all my friends did and we turned out solid and respectable with good jobs -its just a teenager thing. drink is just half the problem these days - drugs are just as bad. lucky me i was in a small town school and didnt meet those til my 20's when i had developed a bit of maturity!


OP you seem to be quiet worried about your son - do you think he is being bullied or do you know for sure? have you contacted the school and let them know? is he speaking to the school chaplain or a counsellor? most schools will take this extremely seriously and will offer all the help you need.

Craft25

Tricky.. its the fact that the stuff is in his room thats most worrying.. if he's drinking alone that's a real bad sign!! (if it was with his mates then its perfectly natural - not that i could condone something illegal obviously)

++1 on victor's point about speaking to child and young adult.. you'll have to tread carefully, use your mothers instinct and realise that it wont be too long til he's out in the big bad world.. has he/you opened up/sought help to deal with the bullying?

the bolt

i wouldnt worry so much about him drinking as his drinking in your house and not giving a sh*t if you find the evidince or not.