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Is this Bullying?

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  • 03-02-2009 11:37am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all.

    Last friday i had an incident in work with my new boss where my boss accused me of leaving the workplace for over an hour when i was gone only for a half hour (lunch break).

    I know exactly the times i left & returned as does a work colleague who was there at the time. As soon as i tried to defend myself against the accusations my boss refused to listen to my version of events & told me that was the end of the conversation & how dare i speak to her in that manner. I was not aggresive towards her & made a point of starting my defence with "With all due respect......".

    I've now taking some time off work due to stress, not only because of this this incident but down to other aspects of the job as well. I am with this company over 10 years with a 100% clean record.

    Any advise?


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    #2
    Godge
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,727 ✭✭✭✭Godge


    Bullying is a perceptual issue, extermely hard to define, particularly in the case of a single isolated incident. The bullying cases I have seen proven tend to demonstrate repeated patterns of behaviour sometimes involving more than one member of staff.


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    #3
    leeroybrown
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,563 ✭✭✭leeroybrown


    Don't worry about it and just put it down to her acting the bitch. If this becomes a recurring issue then you'll need to take it up with her or HR but until then just forget about it.

    Also, starting a sentence with 'with all due respect' tends to be a precursor to lack of respect. It comes across as condescending.


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    #4
    AARRRGH
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,382 ✭✭✭✭AARRRGH


    I would define it as a mistake. She also sounds like a power tripping retard. Unfortunately a lot of bosses, especially female bosses (sorry if that sounds sexist) confuse being aggressive with being assertive.


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    #5
    Mingey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 432 ✭✭Mingey


    leeroybrown wrote: »
    Also, starting a sentence with 'with all due respect' tends to be a precursor to lack of respect. It comes across as condescending.

    Thats what I was going to say, I hate when people say this. It's like saying 'No offence, but...'

    I would say next time be firm, assertive & direct (not easy when you have adrenaline in your veins) but try not to be arrogant. Stand your ground.

    Alternativley you can take it in your stride, say 'whatever' not to her face and put it down to her being a tosser.

    Is she singling you out, or picking on others? Is it just petty little things, or has she issued verbal warnings?


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    #6
    spurious
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 27,163 CMod ✭✭✭✭spurious


    Bullying is a pattern of behaviour, not just one incident. Based on what you have said, it's not bullying, though of course there may be more to the story.


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    #7
    nhughes100
    Closed Accounts Posts: 845 ✭✭✭nhughes100


    Bullying & harrassment can be over a period of time but can also be a once off, it is defined as being unwanted behaviour towards a person(s). The thing to ask her is for proof, if she has cctv footage of you leaving the building at the times in question or logout times from your pc etc, ask her to produce the evidence. Now if she can produce these times for you then she should be able to produce them for every one of the people she manages as if she is only keeping an eye on you then this can be construed as victimisation.

    The burden of proof is on her, take it to HR or another manager above yours. In my experience people like that sing a different tune when someone that outranks them is in the same room. While you're at it ask HR for their policy document on bullying and harrassment and their health and safety statement. If they don't have one then they are leaving themselves wide open for a claim. If you can prove you were only away for 30 minutes then it's time to take her down a peg.


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    #8
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thank you to everybody who replied.

    Sorta calmed down a bit now so i'll just put it down to her being a biatch.

    Thanks again.


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    #9
    Jo King
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,139 ✭✭✭Jo King


    What happened was completely unfair. Even if you had been gone for too long it would have been unfair. She should first have put it to you that you were gone for a particular time and then asked you for an explanation. You should write her a note explaining your side of the story and cc it to HR. She might later claim that she had to reprimand you in relation to this matter in an attempt to aggravate some other complaint she migh make against you.


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    #10
    cooperguy
    Registered Users Posts: 2,650 ✭✭✭cooperguy


    Bullying is defined as repeated incidents. Definatly keep a record of anything like that if it keeps happening. And try and find people who can confirm your story so that if it comes up again you can bring them as evidence


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