Distance issue

LegacyUser

Hey,

You might think this is a really stupid post but here it goes:


Not really a PI just looking for some advice. I've known this girl for 4 years now through MSN. She's really amazing and we get on great. The thing is she lives in America and I've never actually met with her in person. We got talking the other day and we both thought it'd be a good idea to go out because we get on so well and we could make an effort in the summer to meet up or something. Am I being naíve here? Could this work out?

quad_red

Well, if you've never met, how can ye 'go out'.

As in - what does 'going out' mean? Are you talking about a monogamous relationship? Given the distance issue, it's unlikely that you're going to be able to move the relationship on from where it is now.

If you're enjoying the time you're spending together now, why change that? You can decide to move onto the next level after ye meet each other...

MagicMarker

Why not go for a visit as a friend?

Terodil

I know your situation first-hand.

Got to know my OH via the internet, talked for about one year and a half, got bees in the stomach that quickly grew to full-fledged Antonovs buzzing around, then finally dared it. Took the plane, met up, and been madly in love since. LDRs aren't easy but if both people make a push... Just don't push too hard at first, give yourselves a bit of room. I.e. don't plan a week's stay over, just go for 2 or 3 days max. Scout out alternatives for you if things don't work out, see the city. Other than that:

Go for it!

Don't have your hopes too high, it might not work out, but it just as well could!

owenmakken

DONT!! I know a freind who had a 'relationship' online with a girl from America and all he would spend his days going on online dates (watching online films together while eating the same dinner!) and she controlled him from there, made him change his life to suit HER culture -

anyway now its over and he is living a real life he feels how embarrassing and stupid it was, so dont be that loser real communication is up front not over a computer, its just a fantasy

rondog

owenmakken wrote: »

DONT!! I know a freind who had a 'relationship' online with a girl from America and all he would spend his days going on online dates (watching online films together while eating the same dinner!) and she controlled him from there, made him change his life to suit HER culture -

anyway now its over and he is living a real life he feels how embarrassing and stupid it was, so dont be that loser real communication is up front not over a computer, its just a fantasy

that doesnt mean all LDR are like that.OP, go for it.At least youll have a holiday out of it and find out if its possible to have a relationship with the person or if your compatible.Rather than sitting back wondering what 'if'.As said before make 'get out quick' plans so that is shes a disaster u can leave .

Did u get pictures ?i know alot of those webcams can be misleading and u cant see below the head,be an awful shame flying a long distance to find shes the face of princess lea and the body of jabba the hut

Red Hand

If ye are both comfortable with meeting each other, then do so and visit as a friend, but only as Terodil said, for maybe 2 or 3 days and use the rest of the time (however long you are over there for) for sightseeing etc. At least then, you'll have other things planned if ye get along like chalk and cheese in real life.:)

Sneakee

Hi man,
met my other half not so long ago, I was in denial about the whole internet love thing and distance thing but 6 months on after meeting her in Bulgaria, my girl is coming to live with me.
I would suggest meeting her for some number of days and get to know her.

All I can say is mind yourself, just be aware of the situation and take things one day at a time!
Communication in some form every day is the key, make your girl feel important as she should be. Trust is earned and my girl has that from me.

Good luck man and ignore the naysayers, just get on the plane and do it like I did! Best risk I ever took!

Best of luck!

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Am I being naíve here? Could this work out?

It could, but more than likely won't.

LegacyUser

Hey OP here. Thanks for all the replies so far.

owenmakken wrote: »

DONT!! I know a freind who had a 'relationship' online with a girl from America and all he would spend his days going on online dates (watching online films together while eating the same dinner!) and she controlled him from there, made him change his life to suit HER culture -

anyway now its over and he is living a real life he feels how embarrassing and stupid it was, so dont be that loser real communication is up front not over a computer, its just a fantasy

No offense but this seems like a problem on his part as he let her control him. We are not like this at all. We just seem to be natural when we're talking.

rondog wrote: »

that doesnt mean all LDR are like that.OP, go for it.At least youll have a holiday out of it and find out if its possible to have a relationship with the person or if your compatible.Rather than sitting back wondering what 'if'.As said before make 'get out quick' plans so that is shes a disaster u can leave .

Did u get pictures ?i know alot of those webcams can be misleading and u cant see below the head,be an awful shame flying a long distance to find shes the face of princess lea and the body of jabba the hut

Yeah this is what I've been thinking for a good while now. Me asking what if in the future when I think of her if I didn't go for it.

Yeah have seen plenty of pics of her. She's stunning

rondog

Unregistered wrote: »

Yeah have seen plenty of pics of her. She's stunning

Hope your on your way with you bags packed!!

GigaByte

owenmakken wrote: »

DONT!! I know a freind who had a 'relationship' online with a girl from America and all he would spend his days going on online dates (watching online films together while eating the same dinner!) and she controlled him from there, made him change his life to suit HER culture -

anyway now its over and he is living a real life he feels how embarrassing and stupid it was, so dont be that loser real communication is up front not over a computer, its just a fantasy

If you knew anything about relationships you'd realise that this kind of thing happens in a "normal" relationships too.

It all depends on the persons involved, not how they met or where they met.