how much to give

lods

how much do you give a friend getting married these days?

SueWho

I am very interested to hear what people have to say on this topic. I'm a bit clueless myself but if left to decide myself I would give €150. I don't know if that is a lot or not. I'd be mortified if I didn't give "enough" and I looked scabby tbh. But maybe €150 isn't enough, anyone got any opinions?

kayos

I think the average is between 150 and 200. But the best advice is to give what you think is about right and can afford.

Just avoid giving a toaster/picture frame/kettle etc etc :P

Clareman

I always thought it was you covered the price of your meal and rounded up to the nearest 50, so say 80 quid per meal so 200 for a couple. Single people have it more difficult, 100 can look cheap, so I guess 150.

I normally give €200 for family weddings, but €250/€300 for close friends.

deisebabe

yeah i'd say 100 for a single and 200 for a couple....i wouldn't expect anymore...anybody who does has a cheek! However if its a really good friend i'd probably get them a small personal gift as well. (as in 20 -30 euros spend). A nice gift i've seen was actually getting a good picture of the couple on the day, framed and given to them during the meal. (only handy if you can get photos printed easily where the weddings on!)

Luchea

I hear people in work etc going on about how much to give at weddings etc... It's getting ridiculous! We got presents going from 50 euro to 200 up for our wedding, we also got the lamps, enough photo frames to fill a room etc but we were happy people came and gave whatever they wanted. If everyone had came and gave nothing we didn't mind. We decided to get married to get and be married... not so we could have a big day out and get everyone around us to pay for it! And if the couple choose a menu in a hotel that costs €80 upwards then why should the people attending pay for it. Give what you can and want to give... and if they mouth to people after about how much people (eg. you) gave then maybe it's time to cut some people loose... And if they are nice people they'll pool all the money and be happy that everyone was so generous. This problem with money and presents is the reaon why most people have lower turn-outs for weddings...

Didn't mean to sound preacher like but hey...

Sizzler

lods wrote: »

how much do you give a friend getting married these days?

Sorry but this is a silly question on a number of levels imho.

"these days" is irrelevant for starters. As a previous poster said you give what you can afford or what you see fit. If you don't know what to give a friend then are they really a friend? Do you even know the person?

There is no set amount, everybodys circumstances are different. You could be a lawyer earning 100k a year or you could be working in the civil service on 30K a year so you dont *have* to give anything or a requisite amount. I mean theres millions of examples where it might be just bad timing for you, might have a hefty credit card bill after xmas, you might have bills due at the same time etc etc. You can be personal and give them a gift for example. If you know the friend then you should really know whats best in this particular set of circumstances.

Same principals applied for your parents I am sure, people gave what was right for them back in the day

lods

Sizzler wrote: »

Sorry but this is a silly question on a number of levels imho.

"these days" is irrelevant for starters. As a previous poster said you give what you can afford or what you see fit. If you don't know what to give a friend then are they really a friend? Do you even know the person?

There is no set amount, everybodys circumstances are different. You could be a lawyer earning 100k a year or you could be working in the civil service on 30K a year so you dont *have* to give anything or a requisite amount. I mean theres millions of examples where it might be just bad timing for you, might have a hefty credit card bill after xmas, you might have bills due at the same time etc etc. You can be personal and give them a gift for example. If you know the friend then you should really know whats best in this particular set of circumstances.

Same principals applied for your parents I am sure, people gave what was right for them back in the day

yawn

Sizzler

lods wrote: »

yawn

Why bother even posting FFS.

OK...I'll edit my post to say - Give them €300 :rolleyes:

iguana

lods, if you don't have anything constructive to add to the thread don't post.

Clareman

Sizzler has a right to an opinion as much as the next person. Personally, I would like to go back to when the parents paid for the wedding and everyone gave thoughtful gifts, the fact that people may have been moving into a new house after the wedding (moving out of the family homes) meant that this was a lot easier.

Now, people are being caught with a huge bill and more than likely have their own home already, that has been kitted out the way they want, so most people will want cash to help recoup the cost of the day. It might sound very "Celtic Tigerish", but that's the way things are gone. It's up to you to decide how much to give.

kizzyr

Clareman wrote: »

Sizzler has a right to an opinion as much as the next person. Personally, I would like to go back to when the parents paid for the wedding and everyone gave thoughtful gifts, the fact that people may have been moving into a new house after the wedding (moving out of the family homes) meant that this was a lot easier.

Now, people are being caught with a huge bill and more than likely have their own home already, that has been kitted out the way they want, so most people will want cash to help recoup the cost of the day. It might sound very "Celtic Tigerish", but that's the way things are gone. It's up to you to decide how much to give.

I think its really obnoxious when people do that. Have a big huge massive lavish wedding if you want it and if you can afford it. However, don't borrow for it on the assumption that your guests will pay for it in the end.

Clareman

I agree with you completely, in fact the way banks were giving people loans to get married is even worse than anything, the amount of people trying to out do each other on the marriage stakes is crazy and disgusting, your not going to be any more or less married whether you spend a fiver or a million.

zefer

I'd gave €250 at my cousins wedding last year and will give about the same to a close friend getting married this year.

Have to go to 2 different weddings this year in Italy and am seriously thinking about not giving any money but small present instead.
It is costing around €1200 without spending money to attend both and think this should be our present to these people but have other friends that are saying we have to give money.

What would people think about this scenerio?

Bugnut

Brother I feel your pain.

I have the same issue.
Personally having been married, I think it is kinda rude for other guests or the couple in question to have any preconcieved ideas around gift giving.

For me it was the ability of freinds and family to attend the celebration over any gift giving formalities.

I live firmly in the " it's the thought that counts" camp and appreciate gift mysef not on value but effort and thoughtfulness.

Your freinds should appreciate the cost incurred by you to attend the event and if they don't - are they worth the effort at all !

"Those that matter don't mind, and those that mind don't matter "
to quote my aunt at my wedding when I was worrying about the hotel service.

Revolution not Evolution

kizzyr

zefer wrote: »

I'd gave €250 at my cousins wedding last year and will give about the same to a close friend getting married this year.

Have to go to 2 different weddings this year in Italy and am seriously thinking about not giving any money but small present instead.
It is costing around €1200 without spending money to attend both and think this should be our present to these people but have other friends that are saying we have to give money.

What would people think about this scenerio?

I agree with you. If people really and truly want to share their day with people then the amount of money given or the cost of the gift they may receive should never cross their minds. If they are true friends then they will be grateful that you made the effort to travel to be with them on what is an important occasion. Myself and my OH are planning on getting married in Italy around April/May 2010 and would be happier for people to spend money on being there with us than on a gift.

Bugnut

kizzyr wrote: »

I agree with you. If people really and truly want to share their day with people then the amount of money given or the cost of the gift they may receive should never cross their minds. If they are true friends then they will be grateful that you made the effort to travel to be with them on what is an important occasion. Myself and my OH are planning on getting married in Italy around April/May 2010 and would be happier for people to spend money on being there with us than on a gift.

You may be wissing out by going to Italy !

Check it out and consider carefully !
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055475706

:cool: Uh - Huh...

kizzyr

Bugnut wrote: »

You may be wissing out by going to Italy !

Check it out and consider carefully !
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055475706

:cool: Uh - Huh...

LOL. We were in Vegas in July 07 for my 30th and I couldn't get over the amount of people getting married on 070707. Elvis couldn't have been busier dead or not!

CathyMoran

Just turn up, if you feel like giving a small amount of money do but dont feel obliged. Both familes gave us really good presents but we did not ask or expect anything, it was our celebration, we were just glad that they could be there!

lods

iguana wrote: »

lods, if you don't have anything constructive to add to the thread don't post.

:rolleyes:I asked the original question. If you think its irrelevant don't post a reply
.

iguana

lods wrote: »

:rolleyes:I asked the original question. If you think its irrelevant don't post a reply.

I'm well aware of that, but for some reason I was willing to allow you to give you a chance despite you being rude to someone who was trying to help you out. Lods, please read the charter as any further instances of needless rudeness will lead to bannings.

Thread locked.