Good looking girl and not so good looking ex

LegacyUser

Ok -

From the title people will think im vain but im not (really). anyway i was dumped by my ex and basically he is not half as good looking as me. why would he do it? he thought i didnt love him, that's why he dumped me. was it an excuse? when I go out guys look at me - no one looked at him!!! whats the story with it!!!! does he think because he got someone like me he will be able to again! no he wont! and if anyone is only going to abuse my post don't bother posting. thanks

LegacyUser

Someone once dumped me for the same reason!
As it happens, we got back together again, but it never worked out.

Liam Byrne

Unregistered wrote: »

does he think because he got someone like me he will be able to again! no he wont!

Well, without resorting to abuse and allowing for the fact that that the above attitude problem is relatively natural venting after being "dumped"; BUT I have to say that if I was with anyone who threw about disrespectful comments such as....

Unregistered wrote: »

and basically he is not half as good looking as me.

....then I'd count myself lucky that I'd never get someone like them again.

Unregistered wrote: »

and if anyone is only going to abuse my post don't bother posting. thanks

Hopefully there's a difference between giving an opinon and abuse, and bear in mind that I did give you some grace because of the post-dumping venting allowance.

But there's a HELL of a lot more to a relationship and being with someone than looks, and if you view them as the be-all and end-all then you're on a losing streak straight away....

nomorebadtown

if he thought you didnt love him then yes that is reason enough to split from you.

as for the rest of your post - bullet dodged by him.

Koushki

Maybe he didn't like you anymore because you're so stuck up your own hole.

He must have noticed how you thought you were brilliant when you's went out and maybe he just got sick of you.
Thats why my friend broke up with his bf.

Dante

Looks arn't everything hunny.

Koushki wrote: »

Maybe he didn't like you anymore because you're so stuck up your own hole.

I second that.

LegacyUser

im not "stuck up my own hole!!!" I was telling the truth. A guy who "claimed" he loved me dumped me. what the hell is up with that? plus I did love him. Was it just an excuse so he didn't want to hurt my feelings?

in2dblue

It's not all about looks..
Looks will only get you so far, you have to have the personality to go with it too
Obviously the guy wasn't that bad if a 'good looking woman' like yourself was with him in the first place
Maybe there was something lacking in the relationship and he felt it was time to move on
My advice would be to move on yourself, perhaps find someone as gorgeous as yourself.

Wibbs

OK please lets keep this nice and stick to constructive advice. The next person that comes out with personal stuff or reference to personal stuff earns a ban. Only warning. Thank you.

dudara

Unregistered wrote: »

im not "stuck up my own hole!!!"

You may not be "stuck up your own hole" but your posts are not giving that impression.

At no stage have you mentioned the state of your relationship, how things were going. These are important in figuring out what was going on between the two of you.

Unregistered wrote: »

Was it just an excuse so he didn't want to hurt my feelings?

Now here is something. Did he give you a reason when you broke up? Is this reason what this post is all about?

Toto Wolfcastle

Unregistered wrote: »

im not "stuck up my own hole!!!" I was telling the truth. A guy who "claimed" he loved me dumped me. what the hell is up with that? plus I did love him. Was it just an excuse so he didn't want to hurt my feelings?

Putting aside the fact that you probably are as the others have described you, even love is not enough sometimes. Only he can say for sure why he broke up with you. I could guess if you want but others have already done so.

Gauge

If you genuinely believe that people should stay in a relationship with one another for appearances alone, or because one will never be able to do any better, then you are in for a lifetime of unhappy relationships.

LegacyUser

when he broke with me he said he didn't love me. then after time had passed he said he broke with me cause he thought i didn't love him or was not that interested in the relationship. he thought this because i "forgot" his bday twice (bad i know) and i got him a crap present at xmas. he always got me good stuff. But he was in a better paid job than me and could afford it.Plus I didn''t make an effort with his friends, or so he said! but bottom line was i did love him even if i didn't show it (i just thought he knew). i now know he was an insecure B*****D (excuse the language)

lolli

Relationships are based on much more than looks, while we need to be physically attracted to our other halves theres definately a lot more to relationships such as mutal respect, honesty and showing each other love and affection. I would much rather have a boyfriend who I can talk to about anything and feel that we connect as people because of who we are and not how we look.

Maybe he just felt that you and him were not connecting perhaps you are too worried about his looks than concentrating on the other aspects of your relationship

MIN2511

Unregistered wrote: »

From the title people will think im vain but im not (really).

Now, you don't start a thread with :rolleyes:

anyway i was dumped by my ex and basically he is not half as good looking as me.

Did he tell you this, or did you assume its the reason why he broke things off with you.

why would he do it?

Did you ask him why?

he thought i didnt love him, that's why he dumped me. was it an excuse?

Do you love him? Is love an issue? How long have ye been dating?

when I go out guys look at me - no one looked at him!!! whats the story with it!!!!

Sorry, when you say guys look at you and no one looks at him, do you mean girls don't look at him when ye are together. If thats the case then there is nothing wrong with that, i don't see why a woman would be looking at my man when we are together... Although i can't say the same for men

does he think because he got someone like me he will be able to again!

He might find someone better looking, uglier or just average but thats his business not yours as long as the person makes him happy thats all that matters.

and if anyone is only going to abuse my post don't bother posting. thanks

I believe you are a user, in PI sometimes you get constructive critisms and other times you don't. If you don't want people to offer you advice then you shouldn't start a thread:)

tbh

he just wasn't that into you. there's a poster somewhere of a really beautiful girl, and underneath it says "somebody, somewhere, is sick of her crap". mad, isn't it?

cider2001

That guy should be thanking his looking stars that he is rid of you

qz

tbh wrote: »

he just wasn't that into you. there's a poster somewhere of a really beautiful girl, and underneath it says "somebody, somewhere, is sick of her crap". mad, isn't it?

QFT, I had that in my sig for a while.
No matter how beautiful she is, someone, somewhere is sick of her shít.

Degsy

Beauty is only skin deep(and is very subjective),an ugly personality is rotten to the core.

Salome

Unregistered wrote: »

when he broke with me he said he didn't love me. then after time had passed he said he broke with me cause he thought i didn't love him or was not that interested in the relationship. he thought this because i "forgot" his bday twice (bad i know) and i got him a crap present at xmas. he always got me good stuff. But he was in a better paid job than me and could afford it.Plus I didn''t make an effort with his friends, or so he said! but bottom line was i did love him even if i didn't show it (i just thought he knew). i now know he was an insecure B*****D (excuse the language)

It's obvious from your post that you didn't make much of an effort in this relationship. Forgetting his birthday once is bad, but TWICE??? Unacceptable. And I don't accept that you need money to get a great present for your bloke - surely, if he loves you, he'd understand that it's the thought that counts - but obviously, you didn't even make the effort to make that thought.

It sounds like you're quite insensitive to his feelings, maybe that's why he broke up with you? It might be quite exhausting to date a "Princess".

MagicMarker

A steak and blowjob doesn't cost much these days.

Honestly, it's really quite clear why he broke up with you. Move on and find someone really really ridiculously good looking instead.

LegacyUser

ok im kinda coming out bad here but he did his fair share of crap too. my point was why do people lie when they dump someone!!! like he couldn't have loved me - thats why he dumped me. But then he said he loved me and that he thought i didnt love him. He wants to put the blame of the breakup on my shoulders. HE MAKES ME MAD. we went out for 4 years.

Faith

I've a good looking friend going out with a gorgeous girl (swedish model, you know the type). He's breaking up with her because she's "boring, has no substance and has no conversational skills". Now, I'm not saying that why your boyfriend broke up with you, but it does illustrate that looks don't matter shít. I once went on a date with a heartbreakingly gorgeous Italian guy, and I made up an excuse to leave after half an hour because he was so boring, not to mention lecherous.

From your posts, I get the feeling you just didn't care that much. My boyfriend was completely broke this Christmas and still got me an amazing present. It doesn't matter if your boyfriend earned more than you, you were completely thoughtless. A gift can cost €5 and it will be great as long as it's thoughtful. Forgetting his birthday once is not on, twice is disgraceful. I don't think you did love him, and I think he was right to finish it with you. You didn't appreciate him at all and clearly didn't respect him at all if you were telling yourself that you were far better looking than him. Let this be a lesson to you.

Salome

Would you prefer him to tell you that he dumped you because you were insensitive or selfish? Or thoughtless? No? I thought not. He's obviously a nicer bloke than you deserve.

fonpokno

You forgot his birthday twice? If my boyfriend forgot my birthday twice I would be fit to kill him. That's not on, especially if ye were together for four years.

It doesn't matter a sh*te if you're a supermodel. You could be the hottest woman on the planet and that doesn't make a blind bit of difference if you think less of your partner. It seems to me from your posts that you think he's not as good as you because he isn't as good looking. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I've been with some gorgeous guys and some guys that weren't quite as good looking but I was with them for their personalities, not for their looks. Personality and thoughtfulness and being a caring person is so much more important than what he looks like.

As for why he broke up with you, we can't tell you that. That's all down to him.

Wagon

Faith wrote: »

I've a good looking friend going out with a gorgeous girl (swedish model, you know the type). He's breaking up with her because she's "boring, has no substance and has no conversational skills". Now, I'm not saying that why your boyfriend broke up with you, but it does illustrate that looks don't matter shít. I once went on a date with a heartbreakingly gorgeous Italian guy, and I made up an excuse to leave after half an hour because he was so boring, not to mention lecherous.

From your posts, I get the feeling you just didn't care that much. My boyfriend was completely broke this Christmas and still got me an amazing present. It doesn't matter if your boyfriend earned more than you, you were completely thoughtless. A gift can cost €5 and it will be great as long as it's thoughtful. Forgetting his birthday once is not on, twice is disgraceful. I don't think you did love him, and I think he was right to finish it with you. You didn't appreciate him at all and clearly didn't respect him at all if you were telling yourself that you were far better looking than him. Let this be a lesson to you.

I agree.

OP are you aware that every one of your posts has come across as being angry at your ex? Not once did you mention that you were sad about it. You're just bitching about him and even look at the title of the thread!

LegacyUser

I'm mad cause of how he treated me. dump me by phone!! who did he think he was! plus this wasn't the first time he did it! so i have reason to be angry!

Overheal

Unregistered wrote: »

ok im kinda coming out bad here but he did his fair share of crap too. my point was why do people lie when they dump someone!!! like he couldn't have loved me - thats why he dumped me. But then he said he loved me and that he thought i didnt love him. He wants to put the blame of the breakup on my shoulders. HE MAKES ME MAD. we went out for 4 years.

So far you've gotten angry, attacked his looks, admitted to forgetting important anniversaries and you don't think you bear blame?

I think the reason you're so angry and defensive, is because loathe as you are to admit it, you know you didn't love him. I think you need to take some time here and come to terms with the entire relationship, or its simply going to drive you crazy - it would anyone. The hardest part of any breaking up is forgiving where the other person went wrong and accepting where you went wrong, and learn something from it.

Liam Byrne

Unregistered wrote: »

my point was why do people lie when they dump someone!!! like he couldn't have loved me - thats why he dumped me. But then he said he loved me and that he thought i didnt love him. He wants to put the blame of the breakup on my shoulders. HE MAKES ME MAD. we went out for 4 years.

I was with someone once that I was mad about and would have tried - did try - to make it work, except it was draining and absolutely wrecked my head.

So yes, you can be mad about someone - or even love them - and still have to break up; particularly if a lot of the time they give you the impression that they don't even like you (and then throw you completely by doing the complete opposite, giving you hope for a while only for you to get kicked in the teeth again). In my case, I didn't "dump" her, I said "You don't really want this so I'm admitting defeat and giving up"......your scenario sounds relatively similar, and while there was self-preservation on my part - to protect my sanity and self-respect - it was primarily down to her acting at both extremes of the hot/cold scale.

Someone can, of course, also soften the blow by "lying", in order to make someone feel better.....usually shows you care enough to respect someone, but not enough to continue.

But seriously, if you were going out saying (or even mentally registering) "everyone's looking at me, no-one's looking at you" or "I'm good-looking and you're not" and forgetting birthdays, etc, then I'm not surprised he didn't want to continue - ESPECIALLY if he was into you but was getting that sort of feedback - that'd break anyone's tolerance/confidence.

tbh

Unregistered wrote: »

He wants to put the blame of the breakup on my shoulders.

so? what do you care what he thinks?

HE MAKES ME MAD.

he doesn't make me mad. it's probably because I don't care. His opinion has no impact on my state of mind, whatsoever. See how that works?

MIN2511

Unregistered wrote: »

ok im kinda coming out bad here but he did his fair share of crap too. my point was why do people lie when they dump someone!!! like he couldn't have loved me - thats why he dumped me. But then he said he loved me and that he thought i didnt love him. He wants to put the blame of the breakup on my shoulders. HE MAKES ME MAD. we went out for 4 years.

Sorry, you went out for four years and you forgot his birthday twice? And got him a crappy gift for Christmas.

After four years what next? What do you want from the relationship?

AARRRGH

I'm good looking, but I consider it a totally insignificant issue when it comes to maintaining a relationship. In fact, it's not something I even think about.

Having a healthy relationship is about being kind, supportive, fun, loving, etc. It has little to do with being good looking.

Stop thinking about your looks and focus on your personality and you'll find your relationships with people will start improving.

LegacyUser

ok maybe i am a spoilt cow. and i expected him to give me stuff and i didnt give him much in return! but i did love him no matter what my actions. feck i should have being more considerate! DAMN.

in2dblue

Sure the good thing is atleast you know what to do the next time you go out with someone,
You will be more considerate in the future and be less inclined to forget Birthdays if you do care about the other person.

Good luck

quad_red

Unregistered wrote: »

Ok -

From the title people will think im vain but im not (really). anyway i was dumped by my ex and basically he is not half as good looking as me. why would he do it? he thought i didnt love him, that's why he dumped me. was it an excuse? when I go out guys look at me - no one looked at him!!! whats the story with it!!!! does he think because he got someone like me he will be able to again! no he wont! and if anyone is only going to abuse my post don't bother posting. thanks

I'm guessing you're probably quite young? Not to go over the same ground again but if you had so little interest in him (forgetting birthdays) and saw little value in him (not half as good looking as you) then both of you are better off.

LegacyUser

im not young - 20's!!! but i was interested in him. but he did things to me that made me feel resentful towards him. but i got angry with him and would "Sulk" ah too late now il just have to find a totally gorgeous bloke (joking - RELAX!)

Liam Byrne

Unregistered wrote: »

ok maybe i am a spoilt cow. and i expected him to give me stuff and i didnt give him much in return! but i did love him no matter what my actions. feck i should have being more considerate! DAMN.

Lesson learned, so; that means it wasn't a waste of time.

So best of luck for next time - or maybe, if you're lucky, re-igniting this one further down the line.

Overheal

Unregistered wrote: »

ok maybe i am a spoilt cow. and i expected him to give me stuff and i didnt give him much in return! but i did love him no matter what my actions. feck i should have being more considerate! DAMN.

Its a start. You'll work through your feelings given time.

little red

Unregistered wrote: »

ok maybe i am a spoilt cow. and i expected him to give me stuff and i didnt give him much in return! but i did love him no matter what my actions. feck i should have being more considerate! DAMN.

you haven't come across well from your posts. i hope you can move on from the break up and realise that its not all about looks.

ILOff

Is this a wind up from the OP?

Zaph

OP, it seems to me that you only started this thread to have a rant. I don't see any advice being sought, and the only question you have as far as I can make out is why did he dump you. Nobody here can answer that, you'll have to ask him yourself.

If you are genuinely seeking advice on something please feel free to start another thread requesting it, this one is now closed.