Attitudes towards mental health problems in Ireland. Stigma.

Susannahmia

(Sorry for the length and the rant I just needed to get this off my chest.)

I have been suffering from, depression, anxiety and insomnia for over a year now and I find myself saddened and frustrated by the sheer ignorance that is out there when it comes to mental illness. No One talks about it and therefore no one really understands it until they have been through it. Its like a dirty secret that people just cover up and ignore.

My mother suffers from depression too and is a psychiatric nurse, she is the only person I know that I can talk with fully openly and who fully understands. Yet she is still too ashamed to let anyone in work or in the family know that she suffers from it and takes medication for it. My aunt suffers from it badly too but she never talks about it either or has asked for help, I mean like two of my aunts are psychologists for gods sake!

After seeing my mam being so secretive and shameful about her depression I made an effort to be more open about it with my own friends. I told a few close friends alright but I don't think they really fully understand what depression actually is. One of them I feel comfortable joking with her about taking my "crazy pills" etc but that's about as deep as it goes.

Another friend of mine doesn't seem to know what to think and I think she half thinks that if it were her she wouldn't need to take antidepressants. I was actually really hurt the other day by something she said .

She was complaining all day about period pain and I finally asked her if she took anything for it. She said no and pulled some neurofen out of her pocket. Naturally I slagged her for being an egit and not taking it sooner and she replied "well I'm not like you I don't need to take pills for everything I just let it sort itself out!".:(

This is just the sort of attitude I hate, a lot of people seem to think that someone who suffers from a mental illness must therefore be a weak person and just feels a little sad and is too weak to cope or whatever.

Because of this I would like to try and describe as best I can what depression was like for me. Maybe then people can more easily empathise and understand.

I have had bad things happen to me and have coped with them fine. This depression has hit me out of nowhere and is genuinely wrecking my life.

In first and second year of college I had a 2:1 average with ease and wasn't stressed at all. Everything changed after the second semester of final year.

The first thing that went was my concentration, I would torture myself by sitting in the library every single day for hours trying and failing to write more than a sentence. I simply couldn't do it or even think straight. I was embarrassed about this as I felt that I just wasn't trying hard enough and was being stupid and lazy. This went on to such an extent that I failed to turn in any continuous assessment and failed the year.

Soon after the loss of concentration crept the anxiety, understandably mostly about my continuous assessment but after a while about nothing at all.

Imagine the feeling you would have if for example you left the gas on in the house near potential open flames etc. I felt like that all the time for no discernible reason.

I couldn't sleep because of all the anxiety and spent the whole night surfing the Internet playing video games etc, anything to distract myself from the anxiety. I would eventually fall asleep through sheer exhaustion and sleep half the day. This went on for months until I began taking both lustrall for the depression and zispin for the insomnia.

Of course on the outside I just looked like a lazy bum who wasn't handing in her assignments and who was sleeping all day. Inside I was going through hell. At my very worst I felt like hurting myself just to distract myself from the anxiety, I also experienced periods where I felt like I couldn't feel anything or enjoy anything. It felt like there was an invisible force field around me dampening everything. In these numb periods I felt that If I were to go on feeling that way I would be better off dead.

I'm not writing this just to have a whine or complain about my life etc. I just want people to gain a little insight. I think everyone would be much better off if depression and mental illnesses weren't such taboo topics. If people felt that they could talk about it and were educated about it I would nnot be at all surprised if suicide rates were drastically lowered.

I was very lucky because I had my mother to talk to and get me help. I would hate to think what I would have ended up like if I hadn't had someone to talk to who knew the signs and understood how to help.

I most certainly wouldn't have gotten help as quickly as I did. Even with her there it took me almost a year to even do that.

By the way. At the moment I am slowly getting better. I'm taking antidepressants and starting cbt. My sleep Isn't as bad (although not great) and my anxiety toned way way down thank f***:). I'm repeating the second semester but am still finding it very hard to get work done but I am getting better slowly.

I would love to hear anyone elses experiences of mental illness if they are willing to share?

sorella

Never expect anyone to understand. You are blessed to have your mother. One person who knows truth is all you need.

Don't try!

No; I am not ill in that way, but like so many with M.E I was misdiagnosed for many years so know the scene.

Blessings and so glad you are feeling better.

CathyMoran

I dont know why there is such a big stigma over mental illness but I know that it is harder to talk about other illnesses. The fact that it took me 3 attempts to write this post shows how hard it is...

My mum had post natal depression after me which I only recently found out about - it does explain a lot from my childhood as we never really bonded, but I now know that it was not the fault of either of us but I am annoyed with my dad for not getting her help. I was recently pregnant but lost our baby but I was petrified that the same would happen to me - luckily my husband said that he would get me help if it happened and not just ignore it.

I think that there is always a fear that people will look at you differently, think that you are odd. People look at various illnesses in different ways. I think that you have to experience mental illness at close hand before you can appreciate it. It is just like you can not know how you will react to a situation until you have been physically through it - all the "what ifs" in the world will not prepare you. Unfortunatly there are a lot of ignorant people out there.

I am glad that you are getting treatment and that you have your mum to help you - I wish you all the best!

Monkey61

What worries me the most about mental illness in Ireland is the attitudes of some medical professionals towards it. I've been suffering from depression for 18 years now. I tried to kill myself twice, when I was 13 and again when I was 16. I was treated like absolute sh*t in the hospital both times - which is pretty horrendous when you are only a kid and you are in such an amount of pain as it is.

I was shouted at and lectured to by every doctor I met. Most nurses wouldn't look me in the eye and loudly discussed what a drain on their time I was in front of both myself and the other patients on the ward. Neither time was I offered any help. I was patched up and set home with dire warnings about how angry everyone would be if I did it again. The best I was given each time was 3 sessions with a psychologist. And this was in 1996 and 2000 - not the dark ages.

My family treated me like an insane person (still do) and instantly my opinions and feelings counted for nothing because what would I know, I'm mental.

It was only last year when I moved out of Ireland, at the urging of my girlfriend that I asked a doctor for help. It hasn't been ideal, but for the first time in my life my mental health has been taken seriously.

I don't mind telling people, because a lot of my friends suffer from varying degrees of mental health problems anyway, so I have always felt normal amongst them. I don't mind who knows. I laugh about my mental pills and it is quite liberating. I have the odd friend, who was well aware of my depression, but instantly judged me as soon as I started taking pills - because it is seen as a sign of weakness. I hate that, because that is what stopped me from seeking help and kept me miserable for so long. The same people who didn't mind when I was knocking back pints and illegal pills to cheer me up, instantly felt that I had failed somehow when I resorted to the prescription kind - they are in a small minority though and their opinions don't bother me in the slightest.

I don't mind the stigma for myself anymore - it upsets me that other people, particularly younger teenagers and children might be going through what I did, with no help.

Wow, bit of a rant there, but anyway...

nesf

I have bipolar, if anyone gives me crap over it I tell them to **** off. It's no different to something like diabetes, I inherited it and there was nothing I could do to change it.

Screw the stigma, get on with your life, hold your head high and people get over it in my experience. I'll quite possibly be on drugs for life, anyone who thinks it's an easy option or a sign of weakness doesn't know what they're talking about and you should generally just ignore them. Personally I find having little time for fools makes life less stressful in general.

AARRRGH

I think sometimes mentally ill people don't realise their illness affects the people around them as well, so I think society's reaction is more complicated than pure ignorance, like racism or sexism.

For example, I used to work with a girl who was bi-polar. She used to complain that people don't understand mental illness and she is being stigmatised. However the reality was that she was a nightmare to work with, and her mental illness really disrupted our office. She would be high as a kite one day, and then wretched the next. She also couldn't concentrate, said really weird things all the time (and I have a very high tolerance for weirdness!) and in general made everyone uncomfortable. If management or a team member ever tried to talk to her about her behaviour, she always turned it into a "you don't understand mental illness" argument, even though everyone was extremely patient and tolerant of her illness.

Or another guy I worked with who suffered from depression. It made him a really cranky, unpleasant bastard. Yes, maybe we "didn't understand" but the reality was his illness made him horrible to work with.

So it's not just that the public are intolerant or ignorant, it's that a lot of mentally ill people make life difficult for those around them.

Do you know what I mean?

But I would agree, that we should promote a society where people can talk about whatever problems they have, and where no one needs to be ashamed.

As someone stated above, no one chooses mental illness, so they have nothing to be ashamed of.

nesf

AARRRGH wrote: »

I think sometimes mentally ill people don't realise their illness affects the people around them as well, so I think society's reaction is more complicated than pure ignorance, like racism or sexism.

For example, I used to work with a girl who was bi-polar. She used to complain that people don't understand mental illness and she is being stigmatised. However the reality was that she was a nightmare to work with, and her mental illness really disrupted our office. She would be high as a kite one day, and then wretched the next. She also couldn't concentrate, said really weird things all the time (and I have a very high tolerance for weirdness!) and in general made everyone uncomfortable. If management or a team member ever tried to talk to her about her behaviour, she always turned it into a "you don't understand mental illness" argument, even though everyone was extremely patient and tolerant of her illness.

Or another guy I worked with who suffered from depression. It made him a really cranky, unpleasant bastard. Yes, maybe we "didn't understand" but the reality was his illness made him horrible to work with.

So it's not just that the public are intolerant or ignorant, it's that a lot of mentally ill people make life difficult for those around them.

Do you know what I mean?

You are correct in that some people don't manage their symptoms well and inflict them on those around them. My view on this is that people with mental illness who participate in society have a responsibility to minimise what they inflict on others. If you cannot do this, get help until you can. With bipolar it's extremely important because manias can be very dangerous, both financially and emotionally to those around us.

I think that girl you used to work with had a very unhealthy attitude towards mental illness if she saw it as an excuse for her behaviour. It isn't, it's the cause but that doesn't mean we can get away with not limiting its impact on others. Some of the stigma I've encountered comes from having to deal with people like that, they except every person with mental illness to have the same kind of childish attitude towards it.

It can take a very long time to get to the point where you have enough control and awareness to minimise the impact of your symptoms on others though. You can only learn this through painful experience unfortunately.


All that said, a lot of the above kind of behaviour comes from someone not receiving enough or the right treatment and without medication and/or counselling it's extremely difficult to control the effect of your mental illness on those around you. But, I would consider getting the right treatment to also be a responsibility for people with mental illness. People who refuse treatment, though often it's due to the mental illness itself, are putting an unfair burden on all those around them.

emma@

I have suffered from mental illness myself for a few years and i too find thier is a stigma attached to it. My friends all treated me differently once i got the courage to tell them and some started blanking me because of it. It was horrible at the time and made me feel even worse. Not only that but people around me would say "oh she's having a moment" anytime i would disagree with them! It was ridiculous.

I still find that people call me crazy and some people say i make it up, i do try ignore it but its not always easy. I think that there should be better coverage of the illness so to raise better awareness about it then maybe people wont judge us by our illness but maybe treat us a little more compasionately.

Sorry this is probably makes no sense but i can never put my emotions down into words

old boy

it is not easy, i suffer from depression, it is cronic, i also have other long term illness,on qiute a bit of medication as a result, the crap some specialists come up with is unreal, plus the family members throw that at me, i am pretty low at the moment sitting at home with only the internet for company is not all some people make it out to be, can it be such a big deal for the people that knock us to give a word of encouragement instead, a lot of the people that knock are getting nice money to deal with our illness, so any one out there who have anything to do with us, kindness works better that abuse and rudeness.

seanybiker

i suffer from depression and anxiety since ive been 12. Over half me life. Yes there is a stigma about it but I dont get it anymore. 90% of the people that drink in my local no about it. I told them all over the last few years. Mainly just so they no that if i run out of the place having a panic attack that they no its not their fault its just my problem is all.
The amount of people down there that always come up to me asking me how am i doing and giving me their number for if i ever need a chat or anything is crazy. Im like the pubs little project lol.

AARRRGH

emma@ wrote: »

I still find that people call me crazy

Do you act crazy though?

Are you saying you act "normal" but people judge you just because they know you have a mental illness, or are you saying you act a bit crazy and then people judge you?

For example, the girl I worked with who acted really crazy and really visibly showed her mental illness, I can totally understand people thinking she's a bit crazy and not wanting anything to do with her. She didn't realise she acted crazy though. I guess that's part of the illness?

However if it's a case of "people treat me differently solely because they know I have a mental illness, not because I act any differently" well then that's terrible.

generalmiaow

I don't think this problem is exclusive to Ireland. I used to have depression which was severe, and I experienced a bit of negative reaction to that, there are plenty of people who think Prozac is like ecstasy and don't understand that depression is an illness with symptoms physical and mental.

However, post-depression, I find some people with depression hard to deal with, and I would often prefer if they didn't talk so openly. Obviously this isn't true of my best and oldest friends, but I think depression alters your sense of what is OK to talk about and what is interesting. Therefore, it is necessary to be careful. It is also important to choose a good doctor who will not treat you like crap.

I have an acquaintance with schizophrenia and everybody blames him for everything he does, all the odd behaviour, even knowing that it results from schizophrenia. It's often a case of "I know you're schizophrenic but stop acting so insane..." - this is true of anyone I know with that kind of problem. It is very hard to sympathise though when you have to deal with it. God bless the doctors and nurses who have to deal with it AND be nice to you.

I agree with AARRRGH in this case. It's not like racism. I've never heard anyone complain about mentally ill people in general.