How to say no to my friends?

LegacyUser

i have provisional license and my own car.so every time i meet my mates they keep askin me to bring it out for a spin.its getting to the point where i wish i never got it.i tell them that you cant drive by yourself with learners permit but they say 'why did you pay a fortune for insurance if youre not driving it ?'.so after hearing lots of people say that the law isn't enforced and the guards dont really care i thought 'f*ck it' and went on a massive cruise with my friends.big mistake.i didnt crash but now my mates will be asking to bring it out even more.i feel i shouldnt have brought it out in the first place.has something similar happened to you?and what do you think i should do to get them pricks off my back for once??thanks in advance

Alicat

L-driver wrote: »

i have provisional license and my own car.so every time i meet my mates they keep askin me to bring it out for a spin.its getting to the point where i wish i never got it.i tell them that you cant drive by yourself with learners permit but they say 'why did you pay a fortune for insurance if youre not driving it ?'.so after hearing lots of people say that the law isn't enforced and the guards dont really care i thought 'f*ck it' and went on a massive cruise with my friends.big mistake.i didnt crash but now my mates will be asking to bring it out even more.i feel i shouldnt have brought it out in the first place.has something similar happened to you?and what do you think i should do to get them pricks off my back for once??thanks in advance

Not proper mates in my opinion. Tell them to back off, you didn't buy the car for them. If they continue to bully you about it I would consider backing away from those 'friendships'.

Alanstrainor

Say no. It is as simple as that. You dont have to entertain them in your car. All this driving around, is not only illegal, it's dangerous! And if that doesn't deter you, it's not your mates who get the, up to €1500 fine when you're caught, it's you. And, just to add to that, there's also you having to pay for petrol driving them around on massive cruises.
They're using you, no real friends would pressure you to drive illegally, at your expense. The more you say "yes" to these people, the more they will take from you. Show some backbone and stand up for yourself.
best of luck.

mikemac

Ah, been there, done that.
You suddenly become popular when you start driving and your mates don't

Hey OP, if you go out some night with the lads and you're driving them home, I'd expect to drink for free!
If there are 4-5 of ye, I would be asking for a mineral in each round and them paying. But you'll drop them home and save them the price of a taxi so it's all good.

And yes, I'm thinking of outside Dublin where they might be 10 hackneys serving a town of 7,000 meaning a wait of up to an hour for your lift home. And you'll be sharing this hackney with 3-4 others. Lol, at the Dubs complaining about cutbacks in the nitelink service :rolleyes:

If you crash, your "mates" will be the first ones to court with a personal injury claim against you. Sure with the payouts on offer from the PIAB, they'd be urged by their family to sue you

hotredhead

Just say No.Its really not worth it.If you are caught you end up paying not them.Also it's illegal.Wait till you pass your test and even then tell them no.
And Mikemac is right,those very friends will be very quick to claim if you so much as have a bump.

dny123456

I guess the OP knows that he needs to say no, he's just wondering 'how to say no', as the title of the thread suggests.

OP, it can be hard to say no to your friends sometimes and I'm guessing that you feel that you cannot. Perhaps could you get your parents to say 'No' for you. Get them to stop you from going out in the car, in front of your friends. Ask them to get really angry and forbid you from going out without a full license holder. Get them to outline that it is the law and you could land yourself in serious crap if you ignore it! Then you can reject future requests for 'spins' on the basis that your parents would flip and the saying 'No', isn't really your 'No', but your parent's/the law's 'No'.

MagicMarker

OP, the gards are enforcing this law now. If you get caught you'll be the one to get the fine and an earful.

Next time tell your friends if they want to go out on a ''cruise'' so much then they should buy their own fúcking car.

Karen_*

No is a one word sentence and if you lose people because you say no then they were not friends.

david

Young L-driver + inexperience + car full of people cruising = recipe for disaster.

I presume you're 17/18? When my mates first started driving it was the same. It's a novelty and it will wear off after time.

Driving with friends/cruising with friends is a huge distraction when you're just starting to drive. You're putting their lives/your own life/other motorists lives/dogs lives/pedestrians lives etc at risk. This is why young L drivers have huge insurance bills.

Just be firm with them, no means no (presuming you dont have 3k to burn/no conscience)

Keep your head down/pass your test.

LegacyUser

david wrote: »

Young L-driver + inexperience + car full of people cruising = recipe for disaster.

I presume you're 17/18? When my mates first started driving it was the same. It's a novelty and it will wear off after time.

Driving with friends/cruising with friends is a huge distraction when you're just starting to drive. You're putting their lives/your own life/other motorists lives/dogs lives/pedestrians lives etc at risk. This is why young L drivers have huge insurance bills.

Just be firm with them, no means no (presuming you dont have 3k to burn/no conscience)

Keep your head down/pass your test.

OP here.ye im 17 and it was a recipe for disaster even though i am very concentraded when driving im not driving again with them until i get the pink yoke.regret it now that i even brought her out last night,so now the phone calls askin for cruises wont stop.

Toots

OP, I'd question what sort of friends would encourage you to break the law just so they can have a bit of fun.

Just say NO, simple as.

And the Gardaí are enforcing this, don't take a chance. There's a very good reason why learners have to have an licenced driver in the car with them, you could get into a situation that you don't know how to get out of.

When I was 17 and had my provisional, I was constantly being asked for lifts and to go out for a spin. I just firmly said no, and stuck to it. Eventually they stopped asking.

hot2def

L-driver wrote: »

OP here.ye im 17 and it was a recipe for disaster even though i am very concentraded when driving im not driving again with them until i get the pink yoke.regret it now that i even brought her out last night,so now the phone calls askin for cruises wont stop.

I know the cops are supposed to be above this sort of profiling, but the dogs in the street know they will pull over a car full of young fellas for no reason at all - I'd go so far as to say its the principal thing they do with their time.

You will get pulled, you will get landed on - they won't cut you a bit of slack. Tell you friends to drop dead.

kingtut

OP - Try and discourage them from asking by telling them either all or some of the following:

1) I can't afford the petrol as I am only working 1 day a week etc...
2) I can't risk getting pulled by the cops and losing my car (remember you must have a fully licensed driver with you at all times!!! and they have to have had their license for at least 2 years).
3) Tell them that you can't drink when you are driving (I am by no means encouraging underage drinking but if it is that kind of crowd then saying this may work).
4) Tell them how much they are saving by not getting taxis and that you want some petrol money. No petrol = no transport!!

Good luck!!

anonymous_joe

Charge them petrol costs.

allabouteve

anonymous_joe wrote: »

Charge them petrol costs.

Probably the most likely to shut them up. Young lads never believe the worst will happen, so I think the OP is being particularly mature about this.

Well done on that, and just keep saying no until they listen.

Toots

anonymous_joe wrote: »

Charge them petrol costs.

Great idea!!

Conor108

mikemac wrote: »

Hey OP, if you go out some night with the lads and you're driving them home, I'd expect to drink for free!

Maybe we should stick with the petrol idea;)

Overheal

L-driver wrote: »

i have provisional license and my own car.so every time i meet my mates they keep askin me to bring it out for a spin.its getting to the point where i wish i never got it.i tell them that you cant drive by yourself with learners permit but they say 'why did you pay a fortune for insurance if youre not driving it ?'.so after hearing lots of people say that the law isn't enforced and the guards dont really care i thought 'f*ck it' and went on a massive cruise with my friends.big mistake.i didnt crash but now my mates will be asking to bring it out even more.i feel i shouldnt have brought it out in the first place.has something similar happened to you?and what do you think i should do to get them pricks off my back for once??thanks in advance

Tell them "Yes, I am paying a fortune. Which means if I don't want to drive it, then I won't." If they want to pony up for gas, car payments and insurance/the cost of a ticket, then fire away. If not, they can take the bus.

After that, if they keep pressing you, dont play into it, dont respond to it. Eventually they will get the message and give up. If its all theyre hanging around you for after that, then f*ck them. Its great for them because they have nothing to lose, where as you have quite a lot to lose. That makes you the boss; exert some authority on the matter - you don't have to reason with them (does your boss at work explain why he makes you do everything?), you can just tell them no and thats the way it is.