Don't know what u've got til its gone

godeas

I'm in a pickle. I've fancied the pants of someone since secondary school in the 90's. got together with him a few times in the last few yrs but the timings been bad cos I went travelling and now he is. at one point he was even telling his mates he was going out with me!) last time I saw him was before he went and we've been in touch now and again.

He's coming home in a few months and my friend says I shouldnt play so hard to get when he does as I lost him before when I was too laid back about it. What should I do when he gets back? He's the most gentlemanly, kind, good looking guy ever and from past history I know he's not afraid of relationships. Im still crazy about him

HELP!!:(

CDfm

godeas wrote: »

I'm in a pickle. I've fancied the pants of someone since secondary school in the 90's. got together with him a few times in the last few yrs but the timings been bad cos I went travelling and now he is. at one point he was even telling his mates he was going out with me!) last time I saw him was before he went and we've been in touch now and again.

He's coming home in a few months and my friend says I shouldnt play so hard to get when he does as I lost him before when I was too laid back about it. What should I do when he gets back? He's the most gentlemanly, kind, good looking guy ever and from past history I know he's not afraid of relationships. Im still crazy about him

HELP!!:(

Great advice - dont play hard to get.

When he is back do something simple like invite him around to your place for lunch as a friend.

You might even ask him out to the cinema and see where it leads.

Playing hard to get mindwrecking games is childish and he may get the idea you dont like him. If you fancy him -you need to let him know but as a friend and in a nice way. Then see what happens.

Salome

Tell him.

Adelante

Hi godeas,
I agree with CDfm and Salome, the only way to win at mind games is to not play them, leave them in the playground where they belong, and talk to him, ask questions,the better the questions you ask , the better understanding you have of where he's at in his life, do you even know of he's relationship status now let alone, come four months time?

Ask yourself not what you should do, but what you could do.Look giving advice here is bit like taking something from the trash wiping down and trying to pawn it off as something new.-(some line from a song or awt I don't know!!!)

Be yourself, you will know what to say and do closer to the time. If you are both in good places in your hearts and your noggins you will be sorted.
Focus on what you want to happen.Make a wish for the best and click your heels three times:rolleyes:

Love Angel Music Baby

godeas

thanks so much for all ur advice, its v much appreciated. Yeah when he gets home I'll see if he wants to meet up. I'll have to bite the bullet and show that I AM interested cos I really dont wana loose him

CDfm

thats the idea

do you have an email adress for him while he is travelling -may not be a bad idea to send him a friend type email asking him how he is getting on and when he is coming back just basic friend stuff

and if he replies just be normal that could help build up a rapport for his return

godeas

thanks CDfm, yeah we've been keepin in touch through bebo so at least he hasnt totally forgotten about me! :rolleyes:

sunnyside

godeas wrote: »

I'm in a pickle. I've fancied the pants of someone since secondary school in the 90's. got together with him a few times in the last few yrs but the timings been bad cos I went travelling and now he is.
HELP!!:(

That's a very long time to be fancying someone. If I had been wanting someone for that long and I finally got the opportunity to be with them I definitely wouldn't be playing mind games.

Are you sure you fancy him as much as you say you do? Because if you were that crazy about him you'd be making a bigger effort to keep in touch.

JonathanAnon

Think about it. You've been talking to him on bebo, and then you're gonna go all cold after he comes home. Sounds like he likes you to, I would give him a few days to make contact after he gets back. If he doesnt make contact with him apologizing for the fact you havent been in touch sooner.

CDfm

JonathanAnon wrote: »

Think about it. You've been talking to him on bebo, and then you're gonna go all cold after he comes home. Sounds like he likes you to, I would give him a few days to make contact after he gets back. If he doesnt make contact with him apologizing for the fact you havent been in touch sooner.

I wouldnt - Id be in there stalking my claim from the get go:rolleyes:

LegacyUser

JonathanAnon wrote: »

Think about it. You've been talking to him on bebo, and then you're gonna go all cold after he comes home. Sounds like he likes you to, I would give him a few days to make contact after he gets back. If he doesnt make contact with him apologizing for the fact you havent been in touch sooner.

That's just sneaking back in to the old pattern of playing 'hard to get'. Why not contact him the day he gets back? What's so bad about being openly interested in someone?

We all need to grow up.