Odd behaviour or not?

LegacyUser

Ive been seeing someone for 5 months now & there are a few odd things that I think suggest he has other women or is just a player... What do others think, here goes:

He always arranges the dates & can only answer my txts at certain times or doesnt answer at all.

He's always busy at the weekends & will only meet mid week. He sends me txts when he's out saying he misses me or loves me but, only if im going out on the town which I think is to stop me from meeting other guys??

If were out & someone asks if we're a couple he hates it when i say yes!! I've never met his friends & i doubt if they even know i exsist.

His phone is always on silent when he's with me & he checks it every so often to see if he has messages!!

He can go days without contacting me & when he does its only to see if we can meet up. Am i being paranoid or is he a player??

shellyboo

Yeah, he has a gf. Sorry about that.

Sorry to be brutal... it really looks like you're the bit on the side here. Even if he doesn't have a gf, he's treating you like crap. Why are you putting up with this behaviour

Dizzyblonde

I'm sorry but it really does sound dodgy.

LegacyUser

sounds like hes married or spoken for anyway. get rid. toute suite.

LegacyUser

I think i was in denial for a bit saying to myself that maybe we havent been seeing each other that long & it will improve but it hasnt. I really do like him strange as it may sound but your right he is treating me like crap. I am at the point of calling it a day, in a way at this stage i think it would be a relief!!

Harris

Married. For sure.

MagicMarker

I'm beginning to lose all faith in humanity reading this forum.

OP, it's been 5 months, it shouldn't have gone past 5 weeks!!

MizzLolly

uncertain wrote: »

He can go days without contacting me & when he does its only to see if we can meet up. Am i being paranoid or is he a player??

That right there is enough of a reason to say good riddance. Communication is key in any relationship. Forgetting to reply once or twice or being too busy to talk every so often is absolutely fine but if it happens that he's ignoring you quite regularly then what's the point?

One way that helped me decide what to do was asking myself if I send this text will I get a reply.. for the most part, the answer was no. So what's the point? If he can't make enough time for you or can't see that you are more than deserving of his effort, then screw him.

As for being a player, if he won't admit that he's your boyfriend, he's secretive about his texts and he won't spend any of his time at the weekend with you, I'm sorry to say that it doesn't sound good. From what you've written this fella sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. You're gona have to talk to him in person about all of this but don't approach the subject via text or email. He sounds like he's able to leave you hanging too easily and to be honest, I think everybody is entitled to feel as though their crush, partner, etc is genuinely happy to hear from them, rather than burdened by it. (or indifferent to it)

I hope it all works out for you. I was with a guy like this one before, not a nice situation at all and over time it can do a lot of damage to how you see yourself.

Good luck

Salome

Been there, done that - he's got a gf or a wife. Sorry.

LegacyUser

Have you been to his home?

Qprmeath

Very odd behaviour but you know that already or you wouldnt ask the question. Move on.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

EamonnKeane

MagicMarker wrote: »

I'm beginning to lose all faith in humanity reading this forum.

Yeah, depressing as hell, isn't it? They should put soothing music on in the background, or maybe only allow you read it one day a week.

thebigcheese22

EamonnKeane wrote: »

Yeah, depressing as hell, isn't it? They should put soothing music on in the background, or maybe only allow you read it one day a week.

+ 1

Dudess

OP, ask him first. Put to him all the things you've listed here. All signs point to him being already attached but you've no concrete proof.

jessbeth

He really does sound like he's with someone else.

I mean if you read back over everything you've written yourself you'd probably admit that it's really obvious.

Either that or he's in the CIA or something

OK jokes aside OP I would guess he definitely has another partner and if he's with her at the weekends etc then it sounds like they're probably quite serious.

lolli

Op,

It does sound dodgy but in fairness we cant say if he has another woman or not, he might be very busy or just plain rude, either way he is not treating you right. You deserve more respect than that so do yourself a favour dump his ass and find yourself a nice guy.

Abi

Dudess wrote: »

OP, ask him first. Put to him all the things you've listed here. All signs point to him being already attached but you've no concrete proof.

Understand where you're goin with this missus, but he wont even entertain her Id say..

OP, as the other posters have said- there is someone else, maybe several for all you know.

Its obvious as hell.

hellodolly

Either read 'He's just not that into you' or go see the movie of the same name coming out next week i think.

I read the book (it topped the New York Times bestseller list about 5-6 years ago - ergo the movie) and i should have read the damn thing when it came out!!! It gives sound advice in a funny, entertaining way & is an easy book to read.

At the end of the day... wife/girlfriend/obsessed with mother/commitment phobe ... he's just not that in to you!!

Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! but you deserve much better!!! You haven't done anything wrong! Don't allow yourself to be treated with such disregard.

Whatever's going on, he's a p*ick and he doesn't deserve your attention!
Go forth and find yourself the man that wants to ring/text you on a near daily basis, keeps at least 9 out of 10 weekends open so that he can meet with you and makes you feel like the princess you are

LegacyUser

Either read 'He's just not that into you' or go see the movie of the same name coming out next week i think.

I read that book about 4 years ago after seeing it on oprah very funny & enlightening!! Ok so I spoke to him and of course got the im only seeing you speech. We made plans for the weekend & he cancelled at the last minute so I ended it with him!! Now its onward & upward but how can i avoid this type of man again??

sunshinegirl

know someone who did that with chicks and he was married

IRISH RAIL

good for you op
just try to take things slowly and look out for the "signs" I doubt there are many guys scum like that out there.

Enii

You are better off without him.

Onward and upwards is right, keep yourself busy and go to anything that you may have an opportunity to meet someone else at!

Wibbs

uncertain wrote: »

Now its onward & upward but how can i avoid this type of man again??

Unless you've had a long run of these types, then I would reckon you're not picking them, you've just been unlucky with recent dearly departed muppet boyo.

If you're with someone and he's restricted in times he can meet you, unless for a damn good reason, then that's a red flag. Like this last bloke. OK to some the signs were obvious, but it's all too easy to be right after the fact. This will inform how much you'll accept in the next relationship.

Onward and upward is dead right.:) I would take it easy, have a bit of fun, hell, have loads of fun, but maybe take a little time before hopping into another full on relationship.

Well done and good luck!:D

blinkey 101

yea wife gf or bisexual :eek:. drop him like a hot snot hes up to no good.

Wibbs

She has already. read back a few posts.