annoyed at bf

LegacyUser

So here we go. I am in a ldr for the past 2 years, we were able to see each other just now and then, cause of the long distance (US-Ireland). But we talked via messenger almost every single day.
Since January we are living in the same country. I will have to go back in the summer thou. I thought we would use these few months to spend as much time toghter as possible. But somehow, my bf seems not really that into me anymore. I asked him but he says he loves me with all his heart. But why doesnt he text or email me back anymore (well ok, after 3 or 4 days I will hear something back from him). I have to say we still live 1 1/2 hours away but that shouldnt be a problem to meet friday to sunday or even monday, right? But somehow we were just able to meet once over the weekend so far and that was just for a few hours on a saturday. well, I stayed with him for 4 days before i started my job over here, but still..... I am annoyed. Well lets take today for an example: last night he called me after 4 days not answering any of my texts. He asked if i would like to come over to his place for the weekend, i of course was happy about it. As i asked at around what time its best for him he just said he was tiered and he would send me a text tomorrow telling me when its best for him. Its almost 9pm now and he still hasnt text or called me, and i know he wont do it, it was the same last weekend. What should i do? My head says i should dump him but my heart says I shouldnt dump him, i am expecting too much and so on. An other thing is, i dont know anyone here so if i would break up then i would be lonly lony over here. I really dont know what to do. Everytime I am confronting him he says he his sorry and all. I am just starting to not believe and trust him anymore since he never calls when he says he will. Any Advice?

Bottle_of_Smoke

Its a shock to his system. He's used to the freedom of single life as regards going out etc. You cant expect him to see you all the time, he's not used to it.

The texting back is a bit ignorant alright, but it sounds like you texting him all the time has him taking you for granted.

I'd say ease up a bit, make some friends and just try to have a more normal relationship for the next few months

uoluol

Well ask yourself this question .... would you let a female friend this way? I doubt it. It's funny, but we tend to put up with a lot of crap from our significant others, and would in no way allow a close friend to treat us badly.
It's harsh, but I think you know what you have to do. You have already brought the issue up with him, and he hasn't changed.

The guy has no respect for you, you deserve so much better. He is making you unhappy. Your head is already telling you what to do. Dump him. Yes, it will be tough, horrible, and lonely. But you are already going through these emotions. You have to move on. Build on the friendships and acquaintances you have. You will get there.

LegacyUser

Hes just not that into you!!

MagicMarker

Well, if you like to be treated like shít then stay with him.

If you have any respect for yourself then dump him.

Which is it?

It sounds to me like he doesn't really give a shít about you. Sorry.

vorbis

He asked if i would like to come over to his place for the weekend, i of course was happy about it. As i asked at around what time its best for him he just said he was tiered and he would send me a text tomorrow telling me when its best for him. Its almost 9pm now and he still hasnt text or called me.

This strikes me as a bit odd. If you knew ye were meeting up for the weekend, why wouldn't you contact him? Sounds a bit like game playing on both sides. Fair enough if you contacted him today and he blew your off you'd have a fair grievance.

LegacyUser

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

The texting back is a bit ignorant alright, but it sounds like you texting him all the time has him taking you for granted.

No, I am not texting him all the time. I text him when i havent heard from him in like 2 days or if i have something to tell him. Then I usually wait till he writes back which takes 3 to 4 days

vorbis wrote: »

This strikes me as a bit odd. If you knew ye were meeting up for the weekend, why wouldn't you contact him? Sounds a bit like game playing on both sides. Fair enough if you contacted him today and he blew your off you'd have a fair grievance.

Because I did text him last weekend (it was exactly the same situation) and he didnt text or call me till monday.

LegacyUser

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

Its a shock to his system. He's used to the freedom of single life as regards going out etc. You cant expect him to see you all the time, he's not used to it.

But he doesnt even go out. Like everytime I ask him what he was up to over the weekend he just says nothing, just relaxed, stayed in, slept, some work on the computer, read, ... stuff like that.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Unregistered wrote: »

But he doesnt even go out. Like everytime I ask him what he was up to over the weekend he just says nothing, just relaxed, stayed in, slept, some work on the computer, read, ... stuff like that.

THat might be just him. To be honest me and my girlfriend went through something very similar. She's from Germany but moved to dublin in September, I'm pretty lazy with texts n stuff but she's the opposite. THe first month was a nightmare, I felt guilty hanging out with mates and a lot of nights out ended up in fights.

We broke up for a while and it gave us the chance to set things straight, since we got back together its worked better as we both have a better understanding of each other.

What really struck me was you saying "we should spend as much time together as possible" - that just doesn't work unless both people are suited for that, and many aren't

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Hes just not that into you!!

exactly...u should get the book!

LegacyUser

If I like a girl, I respond to texts quickly.

If I'm not that into them, I leave it.

If I like a girl, I try to see her as often as possible.

If I'm not that into them, I say things like "yeah, let's meet up - I'll text you tommorrow" and then leave it late to call or text....

LolaLuv

Jesus, woman, this guy is a loser! Seriously, not long ago I was used for sex (unbeknownst to me) and the guy texted me back more than your boyfriend does to you! You aren't even being treated as well as a fcuk buddy at this point. Don't tolerate it. Move on. You're in a foreign country, which sucks, but think about the fact that you're a novelty and will be able to get as much ass as you desire until summer. You're just wasting energy on this guy. The fact that he won't even talk to you about it is the clincher. No communication=no relationship.

Red Hand

Well, he's reverted to what he is usually like...the novelty of an online LDR has worn off.

I guess there isn't that much hope as far as I can see.