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social phobia

  • 29-01-2009 9:02pm
    Registered Users Posts: 60 ✭✭ shadowgirl

    hi just wondered if any of you suffer from social phobia?

    i've suffered from this for years.
    doc says he thinks its actually learned behaviour because my mam had arographobia and i had to go out with her everywhere she went.

    as a teen i couldnt even go into a shop and ask for something without braking out in a sweat/shaking.

    i;ve been to councling a few times for this and they all say the same thing.

    exposure to what you fear over a period of time will make life easier.

    and sure enough they were right, but it was a very long and hard process.

    i wouldnt be nearly as bad as i was with the social pobia...but it still dictates my life somewhat.

    anyone here have this?

    my symptoms of social phobia are.
    cant be in groups of ppl without stammering/sweating/blushing/feel like i cant breath.

    cant walk past a group of ppl while out walking.
    dont like going anywhere alone.
    depend on my car to get anywhere, cause i panic if i'm walking and come up against one of the things i fear.

    the list is endlist!

    thankfully as i said i have worked very hard to overcome some of these things, but its a constant battle.
    if i get sick and am at home for more than three days, its very hard to get going again, cause the fears creep back.

    its a crazy life!!!!!!!!



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,797 ✭✭✭ KyussBishop

    Yep, I think I've had some level of social phobia as far back as primary school, and it's still very much with me.

    Have you every gone to a psychologist who practices CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)? CBT is one of the best methods for tackling the irrational thoughts/beliefs behind social phobia, but in order to be effective it requires a lot of work.

  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 137 ✭✭ Pi^2

    Thanks OP for that, everything you said I've been through. Even to the extent that I'm on top of the situation now after quite a few years. It was worse when friends and family were annoyed that I wouldn't go into a shop to get them anything. To this day I can't order anything at a bar, but its okay cos I don't drink!

    College is definitely helping too

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31 T3h-Slayer

    yes. i have something like this too. i stay away from crowded place as much as possible and never go out alone or if i do, i try not to be too long and comes back home ASAP. i hardly talks when there are a lot of people around and feels like people are eyeing me. its not easy at all and i'm even afraid of what i'm gonna do if i'm accepted to a university!!! any suggestions other than having an appointment with a psy?

  • Registered Users Posts: 1 Bluesy

    I've suffered from severe Social Phobia/General anxiety disorder for many years and its prevented me from doing the basic things people take for granted e.g dating, having friends and even working!

    I still have it pretty bad, but i'm determined to beat it!

    Theres just not enough support in Ireland for people with Social Phobia. Its about time a bunch of sufferers got together (what are the odds? They'd be afraid of each other!) and set up a national support group.

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2 TerryL1

    Yeah i know how you feal , They all give you the same mind over matter crap . The only thing that helped me was Xanax , Taking 2 an hour before anything social stops the symptoms weather its in the shop or on the street .

    I cant praise it enough and i cant imagine life without it after a year of usage . Talking is fine and sure it might work in a year or 2 years but ill take my chances with Xanax and id advise anyone else to do the same

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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3 london99

    Can't overly recommend dr richards mp3 (google for it) for over coming social anxiety.

    There is a handout with it, -you need to spend about 20 mins a day working with the course.
    I spend 12 months listening his cbt tapes and what a difference it made to my life.

    If you stick with the course you can over come social anxiety.

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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 51 ✭✭ KamikazeKenny81


    Yeh I suffered from a social phobia for years, to a very extreme extent for about 4 years in my teens. I am on the verge of breaking it for good now hopefully, it hasnt effected me in nearly 2 years really.

    Now this is not a religious technique, but I use Vipassana meditation which is a Buddhist teaching. I found with my pobia that it was all in my mind, my conditioning and habits and patterns of thought it certain situations, I also suffered from anziety. Meditation and Vipassana meditation in particular allows u to relax, release anxiety, then with practice, view your mind habits and patterns. Simply seeing the process at work is enough to break it, but it takes time and practice. CBT becomes much easier and natural when you gently get to know ur mind and work at its own pace.

    For anyone interested in this technique this is a link to an online copy of a fantastic book on Vipassana meditation

    Good luck to anyone here who suffers, whatever ur technique :D

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 51 ✭✭ KamikazeKenny81

    Bluesy wrote: »
    Theres just not enough support in Ireland for people with Social Phobia. Its about time a bunch of sufferers got together (what are the odds? They'd be afraid of each other!) and set up a national support group.

    Yeh Im suprised it hasnt been done already, I'd be interested in being involved in something like that.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1 psull

    I have had SA for close to 10 years.It has gotten in the way
    of friendships,work,etc..and made life very difficult.
    Recently started using the Dr.Richards program which is
    very good.It would help to have group to go to though.
    If there is anyone in Cork using this program,or just has SA
    and wants to try and set up a support network,give me a call.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 93 ✭✭ __plec__

    Hey all,

    Had suffered from social phobia for well over 10 years,lost all my friends because of it,dropped out of college as it just terrified me,at my worst i couldnt leave my bedroom if there was anyone in the house,and when i did id jump when i thought i heard someone at the door,really wasnt the nicest time of my life.

    Thankfully im doing so much better now,good job,good friends,life couldnt be better really,i still do have moments where i want to run but i can deal with them,and the more i put myself out the better i feel.

    Firstly id like to say please dont think of yourself suffering from social phobia.I know when i was told i had social phobia, then i could justify me not doing things by telling myself i had this problem,i know it may sound silly but what we tell ourselves has a massive effect on how we live,so if I kept telling myself that i had social phobia,id just keep living like i had it.

    I tried everything,and while id feel better for a while id always slip back into my old routines of overthinking and avoiding things.Then i finally went to this hypnotherapist who was amazing (id tried hypnotherapy 3 times before with no joy),she just introduced me to lots of positive thinking books,and things like 'the secret',so by surrounding myself by these things i found that my confidence was increasing.With me anyway (and i assume its the same for others) my problems lay with my overthinking,constantly telling myself i wasnt good enough,thinking of the worst possible outcome of things and then avoiding them etc.

    Another book id recommend is called 'stop thinking,start living'.Its a great place to start,its such an easy read.

    Take on board what everyone else here is saying,and just try and think a little more positvely(i know thats a very hard thing to do when you feel down).If you (or anyone else) would like any details of who i seen please feel free to messege me and il give contact details

    And like the rest of you,id love to be part of some group to try and help other 'suferers'.Feeling like that is not living,would be great to raise awareness,and help others like us

    Hope this helps a little. :)

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2 Butterflies

    I also suffer from something very similar in various situations.some days and situations are just reaaly hard!!its effected my life pretty badly in so many ways n held me back took me along time 2finally work out what i do have n now im really determind 2fight it.i totally agree that there is not enough help in ireland for people with social anxiety disorder and id really love to join some sort of support group.i just found the mater offer a support group but it can be difficult to get in2 and there is a waiting list.

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,066 ✭✭✭ elekid

    Yeah I've had this for years without realising what it was or how badly it was affecting my life.

    I'm currently doing the course in the Mater (the one) and finding it very good. It's been great to meet others with the same problem and the techniques used in the course have been very helpful. I'm already noticing the way I think about certain things beginning to change and some things I've always found very difficult are getting a little easier. I know it's still going to take a lot of time and effort on my part but the course is a brilliant way to get started and there are fortnightly support meetings after you finish it too.

    There was a bit of a wait but it wasn't too bad (6 months for me, less for others in my group) and there's a recommended book you can read in the meantime which covers a lot of the ideas used in the course - "Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness" by Gillian Butler. You'll be screened beforehand and if you genuinely suffer from Social Anxiety you'll be added to the waiting list so I wouldn't say it's hard to get into, unless it's not easy for you to get to Dublin in the first place. I'd definitely recommend it based on my experience so far.

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2 Butterflies

    Thank-you so much elekid for the advice,im defo going to apply,I think it would be alot of help :)

  • Registered Users Posts: 1 valerie70

    Hi I was wondering if there was anyone out there suffering from what id call extreme social phobia. Ive lived with it since I was young and as I could see no one else around me anywhere with the same problems and stress it caused me, I put it down to something was wrong with me and had no choice but live with it. I got by as best I could with few friends along the way, was never any good in groups, social events terrified me and still do, any I attend are painful and afterwards I loathe myself and go back over analysing how bad it was. It stil affects my life and now I starting driving, I am fearin g and avoiding it all time, unable to bring myself to book the test as im over thinking and avoiding as fearing the mistakes im making due to the nerves and worry. I wish there was a online group or meeting groups to talk with others as it makes it so isolating and cant talk to family as wouldn't understand,