Baby "making strange"

Spades

I was wondering if any of ye had any experience of your baby “making strange” with people including family and friends. I think this is what our 3 month old little girl is doing. Starts crying etc, when they go to lift her or play with her, it’s especially noticeable when outside our house/her most familiar surrounding.

I don’t think it’s a serious problem but does make me wonder what her form is going to be like when we visit friends and family. If I suspect she is in one of these moods, I simply ask people not to play with her straight away and leave her a few minutes just to give her time to see who they are and suss them out. This seems to help.

If you have seen this, do you have any tips on how I could make it easier on her and us.

noby

That sounds pretty common - I'd say every baby goes through it at some stage. Carry on handling it exactly as you are.

Mr Magnolia

As you're doing, have everyone pretty much ignore the child until she has a good look at them and is happy with thier presence in the room. Then have them approach her one at a time slowly and quietly. She'll sense if you're apprehensive about them coming over so try and relax

siobhan.murphy

I was so there!!!!!
I have two boys the eldest would run off with anyone,thesecond came 4 1/2 yrs later,I didnt know what hit me!even going down down in the pushchair if anyone looked at him he would go nuts,it was terrible,I tried 3 different creches when he was 3 1/2 i would only be gone a few mins when I would get the call to come cack for him!I though my life was over!
good side 3 yrs later he is the most outgoing of my two sons and a great mixer-I thought he wouldnt be accepted into school as he freaked when he saw anyone apart from his brother and my husband!
I know people will tell u its only a phase but i was wrecked by it all,yes it was hell and yes it did pass!
dont make any excuses just carry on as normal and dont avoid suitations,otherwise you will be adding fuel to the fire so to speak!hope i was of some help.#good luck

kmick

Its a phase - our girl did the same. She is over it now at 6 months. We never took any notice of it but did keep her on our knees when strangers arrived.

delly

We were pretty lucky in that our baby never made strange, but if we went out to visit family etc. and she was swarmed when entering someone's house she would go mental. I'm talking about walking through the door with carseat in hand and 3 or 4 nieces and nephews crowding around to see her. In fairness, that would even make me cranky.

As you say, its best to give her a few minutes to get acclimatised to a new environment and make sure nobody pokes multiple fingers in.

di11on

You know, I think we expect unreasonable things from children.

If a complete stranger stuck their face in front of me and made silly sounds, I'd certainly make strange. Either that or I'd punch them :-) So why should a baby like it?

Honestly, there are people who expect instant affection from babies and children yet no adult or child is capable of this - so why do we expect it?

We should give our little ones a break! :-)

IsThatSo?

I found that my eldest son was 2 before he started to remember/recognise people and that eased a lot of the "making strange".

Agree with last poster, I hate having my personal space invaded and would never do that to a child myself. They are little people with their own likes and dislikes, just like the rest of us, we are just bigger

Redpunto

Its a perfectly natural thing for her to be doing and it is a phase, continue what your doing with telling people to give her time before going over to her. Once shes more comfortable she'll gradually feel safer to explore any new people and surrondings.

Deliverance

I was going to start a thread about a similar concern for my 3yr old. Seems like the answer is already here though. My little one hid under a chair the other day when her teenage male cousin called up. I thought she was being mischeivous and just doing the hiding thing. But she had to be dragged screeching from under the chair whilst hiding her face.
Then she ran off and hid in a bedroom and wouldn't come out. After 15mins she loosened up and started trying to attact attention to herself. After a while she was chatting away and having fun. Must definately be little mad stages that they go through.

deisemum

It's a phase and will pass in time but it could be some time yet.

I work as a childminder and have come across this plenty of times, the average age for this stage is from 6 months to 2 years. I know I'm not the only childminder who prefers starting a baby before 6 months if possible as they'll normally go to anyone prior to 6 months. After that they're more aware and it may take longer to settle.

Some people just swamp a baby and it's enough to frighten anyone. They should just give them so time to get used to their bearings. I've done a number of child protection courses over the years and 1 thing I learnt from it is not to make a child hug or kiss someone including relatives goodbye or hello. If the baby/child doesn't want to do it then don't try and get them to do so as you're giving very mixed messages to children.

gerrycollins

completely normal! is she first born? ours did and she made strange with everyone other than the cat. Our second doesnt he is very happy altogether