He backed out at the last minute...

LegacyUser

I won a holiday in a prize draw recently. I chose to take my boyfriend, over alot of other people, on this holiday and he agreed enthusiastically. We are at different ends of the country so it sounded like a fun way to spend some time together. He has never had a passport and told me that he would get one organized. I double checked this every few weeks and he kept saying 'on Friday/ etc etc'. So I thought he had it done. The competition organizers want me to confirm the date and passport details of the the two people traveling. As he is busy with college etc, he said that it would be Monday before he can get it sorted (and hadn't previously realized how complicated getting one is).Even if he did, it might be too late (as it will take weeks, technically it should be here on time). I need to reply right now to the organizers. My boyfriend told me to choose someone else to take. So now I have to call up friends and find one who will basically give an on the spot answer as to if they can go. Not very easy, as most are in full time jobs etc. And I feel lame asking them now.

I feel so let down by my boyfriend for ever giving me the delusion that he was going to go. And then he backs out at the last minute. He has said sorry and that he loves me. Am I being stupid for feeling so let down by him?. I was looking so forward to this holiday. It's making me think that maybe he'll say he'll do things then back out again in the future. How can I trust other things he says he'll do.

Redpunto

Hes acting like a fe*kin ejjit. Find a good time and have a ball and do not contact him at all. He should be apologising to you profusely and yes I would be really peeved if that had happened to me.

How long have you been going out with eachother??

PurpleBerry

It's odd that your bf agreed to go on the holiday but then backed down. If he hadn't wanted to go at all I would say he's just not the "holiday type", we do exist! But even that would be a bit strange as few people would turn down a free holiday.

It really sounds like he never wanted to go as there are very few excuses for not getting a passport. You can get express ones and even emergency ones, an express will take 14 days and cost €50 on top of the regular passport fee and the emergency option carries a €100 extra fee. So it's unlikely that he couldn't get one. For a free holiday most people would consider that charge to be worth it.

If it's true that he never really wanted to go in the first place then you have every right to feel let down. If he had told you in good time you would have been able to take someone else. He is possibly not ready to go on a holiday with you yet, how long have you been together? I've heard from a couple of men that going on holiday too soon ruined or almost ruined their relationship.

King of Kings

dump him for being a clown. Do you really want to be going out with somebody who cannot organise a passport?

I'm sure there are plenty who'd like a free holiday.

greenman09

Ill go

Faith

Maybe he's just crap at planning things? I know people like that. When it comes to doing something, they just keep saying "yeah, I'll get on it tomorrow" and keep saying that until it's too late. Is he a bad planner generally? Or is he usually very organised and just messed up on this one?

The_Conductor

If hes never had a passport before- perhaps he has a fear of flying and was too embarrassed to tell you? Maybe he thought he would be able to overcome his fear- but kept putting getting the passport on the long finger in the hope that he would get his courage up? Its not beyond the realms of possibilities.......

MagicMarker

The man is a fúcktard.

He's offered a free holiday and he can't even manage the simple task of getting a passport? I'd dump him just for being an idiot.

TheZohanS

feelletdown wrote: »

I won a holiday in a prize draw recently. I chose to take my boyfriend, over alot of other people, on this holiday and he agreed enthusiastically. We are at different ends of the country so it sounded like a fun way to spend some time together. He has never had a passport and told me that he would get one organized. I double checked this every few weeks and he kept saying 'on Friday/ etc etc'. So I thought he had it done. The competition organizers want me to confirm the date and passport details of the the two people traveling. As he is busy with college etc, he said that it would be Monday before he can get it sorted (and hadn't previously realized how complicated getting one is).Even if he did, it might be too late (as it will take weeks, technically it should be here on time). I need to reply right now to the organizers. My boyfriend told me to choose someone else to take. So now I have to call up friends and find one who will basically give an on the spot answer as to if they can go. Not very easy, as most are in full time jobs etc. And I feel lame asking them now.

I feel so let down by my boyfriend for ever giving me the delusion that he was going to go. And then he backs out at the last minute. He has said sorry and that he loves me. Am I being stupid for feeling so let down by him?. I was looking so forward to this holiday. It's making me think that maybe he'll say he'll do things then back out again in the future. How can I trust other things he says he'll do.

For an emergency Passport he needs:

1. His Birth Cert (Long version)
2. Passport Application form stamped and signed in any Garda Station
3. Passport photos
4. Cash

He can present them in person to the Passport Office, its just around the corner from Reynards.

Shouldn't take him more than 2 hrs to get one.

If he's not willing to do this then he's just being a pr1ck.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies. Sometimes in relationships, I see people being 'blind' to the obvious. I spoke to one friend about it, who was good to help me see my boyfriend's point of view, but I still felt rubbish because of what he did. Yes, he is one of those 'crap at planning' people (but I think those people can do stuff if it's important).

I should have specified that we're both in England (apologies). We've been going out for a year. He has been on a plane before and is not afraid of flying (some internal/ British Isle flights, only a driving license is needed). It's a little bit more difficult to get a first passport over here I think, or it takes slightly longer anyway.

I told him yesterday that the organizers had contacted me and needed an urgent reply. I told him that if he wanted to go, he'd really have to go and get one today. He felt under pressure, which is understandable, but he had been told and reminded about this for a while. And to top all of this off, he's doing something else tomorrow (an interview for modeling- someone spotted him on the street a few weeks ago). I am happy for him and glad he is going for it, but priorities eh!. As far as I'm concerned, if he REALLY wanted to go, he could have got up early this morning and had the whole thing finished in a few hours. Then I could have explained to the competition organizers that his passport was being processed. I just don't believe that his ENTIRE week is completely booked up like he says it is. There's always an hour here and there that things can be done (and everywhere he'd need to go, such as the register office and post office to send it off, are within walking distance). Argh. Sorry about the rant. I don't want to throw away everything because of this, but don't know how to stop feeling so let down by him. I'm afraid he'll do it again sometime. This was really important to me and I'm wishing I asked one of my friend now at the start, instead of making any of them feel like a back up plan.

iguana

feelletdown wrote: »

It's a little bit more difficult to get a first passport over here I think, or it takes slightly longer anyway.

You can get an Irish emergency passport just as quickly in the UK as you can in Ireland. I live in London and when my husband couldn't find his passport the day before we were due to go on holiday he managed to get an emergency one sorted out in one day. It took a lot of scrambling around but he managed it. Obviously being in the south east helped as it was easy to physically get to the embassy but if he actually does want to go on holiday it's possible.

Embassy website. http://ireland.embassyhomepage.com/