College Girl

LegacyUser

Hey all, bit of a story (as all PIs I suppose).

I fell for a girl in college last year towards the end of the semester. Throughout the beginning of the year I didnt so much as I didnt really know her, but as I got to know her I really began to like her. She wasnt in every lecture of mine but the one's we were we'd sit beside each other and have a laugh. Laughs turned into flirting, but I knew she had a BF so didnt want to go too far because she was in a longterm relationship.

I dropped out of the course and moved abroad for a different opportunity, but kept in contact with her through texts, internet and even phone calls. I only realised after I moved how much I liked this girl, and it started to kill me for not making a move or saying something when I had the chance.

So I found out she broke up with her bf just after the summer. I was quite surprised as she only told me relatively recently (ie, a good while after the breakup). She didnt seem too upset however and we kept in touch as before, only we started flirting a bit more.

Im home in 2 weeks and for the past few weeks Id been really looking forward to getting home, seeing her, and telling her how I felt about her. (just growing the courage what to say). I had been getting good vibes from her and flirting so said what have I got to lose.

Then yesterday she dropped a bomb, and told me that she's just started going out with someone. I really wasnt expecting it and it has completely thrown me back. I'm pretty confused because Id been getting all the right signals for something to happen when I get back, and now this, two weeks before I get home. She even said she didnt know why she was telling me, as I was the first person to know and none of her closest friends even knew yet.

So I havent a clue whats happened... if I were reading this PI I would say 'Friend Zone' straight away, but with all the signals Id received and the flirting, I would never have considered it.

Anyone want to shed some light on this? My plans have just been thrown upside down because of this, and my head is wrecked!

Otis Driftwood

Aww man,what a crappy situation.My take on it would be that she knew you were interested(women and their dang physic powers) and was able to actively flirt with you to build up her confidence and feel wanted after the break up.Unbeknownst to you,you were being her crutch during a difficult time and now she has met someone else.It sucks but unfortunatly it does happen.I would say distance yourself from her for the next wee while and see what happens.If she thinks you are being distant(which you should be)tell her that she is seeing someone new so you arent comfortable with having so much contact.Maybe it will bring her to her senses and this new guy may just be a fling.Even if they stay together at least you have time to move on without your head being melted by thinking about it as much.Best of luck anyway.

LegacyUser

Personally I would tell her how I feel regardless. At least it wont be wrecking your head anymore.

KikiDee

Unregistered wrote: »

she's just started going out with someone.

It's not exactly like she's going to be in a full blown relationship with this other guy!!! Your home in two weeks right? So I'm guessing that'll be about a month she'll be with this other guy. Tell her gow you feel. If she rejects you, at least you won't be wondering 'what if' and then you can give yourself some distance from her. If she feels the same...wayhey!

(I realise this is lousy on the guy she's seeing and I feel bad for telling OP to go for it anyway but in this life you have to take chances.)

Gone Drinking

If you don't think you're in the FriendZone, you're probably in stage two of the FriendZone, denial.

Beau

She'll ruin your life. hehe, seriously though was in a similar situation myself and I ended up going out with the girl and I'm still with her now 2 years on. It took a lot of work though, in my case I didn't back off at every knockdown, I upt the anty flirting wise, while still keeping my options open. Its very tough though.

Mingey

So you like this girl, never tell her that you do then you go overseas and expect her to be single and waiting for you when you get back?

road_2_damascus

Unregistered wrote: »

Hey all, bit of a story (as all PIs I suppose).

I fell for a girl in college last year towards the end of the semester. Throughout the beginning of the year I didnt so much as I didnt really know her, but as I got to know her I really began to like her. She wasnt in every lecture of mine but the one's we were we'd sit beside each other and have a laugh. Laughs turned into flirting, but I knew she had a BF so didnt want to go too far because she was in a longterm relationship.

I dropped out of the course and moved abroad for a different opportunity, but kept in contact with her through texts, internet and even phone calls. I only realised after I moved how much I liked this girl, and it started to kill me for not making a move or saying something when I had the chance.

So I found out she broke up with her bf just after the summer. I was quite surprised as she only told me relatively recently (ie, a good while after the breakup). She didnt seem too upset however and we kept in touch as before, only we started flirting a bit more.

Im home in 2 weeks and for the past few weeks Id been really looking forward to getting home, seeing her, and telling her how I felt about her. (just growing the courage what to say). I had been getting good vibes from her and flirting so said what have I got to lose.

Then yesterday she dropped a bomb, and told me that she's just started going out with someone. I really wasnt expecting it and it has completely thrown me back. I'm pretty confused because Id been getting all the right signals for something to happen when I get back, and now this, two weeks before I get home. She even said she didnt know why she was telling me, as I was the first person to know and none of her closest friends even knew yet.

So I havent a clue whats happened... if I were reading this PI I would say 'Friend Zone' straight away, but with all the signals Id received and the flirting, I would never have considered it.

Anyone want to shed some light on this? My plans have just been thrown upside down because of this, and my head is wrecked!

take this as an opportunity to change your plans, and stay to hell away from this country now when you have the chance...things are going tits up here by the day...plenty more sharks in the sea

dyl10

Mingey wrote: »

So you like this girl, never tell her that you do then you go overseas and expect her to be single and waiting for you when you get back?

I think your post is silly.

To the OP, unlucky man, looks like bad timing and few other factors have worked against you.

Don't give up, let her know, you still have every chance!

Mingey

dyl10 wrote: »

I think your post is silly.

Good for you. Care to elabrate why?

rondog

Tell her exactly how you feel and ask her NOW to give you a chance,the longer you leave it the deeper they get into a relationship and harder for her it is to break away.Tell her you want to do the american thing and date for a while before she commits to someone

dyl10

Mingey wrote: »

Good for you. Care to elabrate why?

Just seemed like an unnecessarily salt-in-wound comment.
I don't really see what benefit the OP could take out of it.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies everyone. Good points that if I don't do anything now it will still edge at me 'why didn't I' etc, so Im pretty happy to tell her now regardless of her new relationship.

Mingey - No, I did not expect her to be single and waiting for me when I got back. When I left she was in a long-term relationship (as Ive said), so I wasn't expecting anything.

Life has its twists though I suppose; Ill see how I get on.

Thanks again

tolosenc

Talk to her. She's hardly going to have as strong a connection with this guy after a fortnight as she does with you. Man up and put your cards on the table. You think you stand to lose a lot, but in reality you don't.

Maybe start by asking her about him, then say it's a pity because you had been thinking of asking her out (judge reaction here, if it goes down badly try to laugh it off etc.)

Feint hearts and fair ladies and all...

Chucky the tree

Did she know your coming home for good? If really liked a girl who was coming home after being away for awhile I wouldnt be looking to get into a relationship with someone, the fact she did isnt a good sign.

MIN2511

She didn't know he fancied her, yes they flirted but i bet she wasn't expecting him to feel this way....
And even if she did, he was too slow making his move :P

OP, tell her anyways about how you feel. It's no harm...

LegacyUser

OK, heres the situation in black and white. This will be painful to read OP so you might want to grab a kleenex.

1. You are her girlfriend. She has no sexual feelings towards you.

2. The thought of having sex with you is "wrong" to her and would make her go "Uugggghh".

3. You are too nice. Women who are hot tend to always have boyfriends and their boyfriends tend to overlap as a result (look at rosanna davidson). they are rarely ever single. im assuming this woman is hot. knowing this, you have to try it on whether she has a boyfriend or not. wes quirke didn't care that rosanna was going out with your man james something... whos banging her now? if i met her, i sure as hell wouldn't be thinking about my loyalties to wes quirke i can guarantee that!

4. You have no options. You are not good with women. You need to learn and get more women.

5. You have a terrible mindset. It is a mindset of scarcity. Imagine if you had 10 different beautiful women after you, texting you and calling to meet up. you'd have a lot more power in a situation like this.

6. you have been played for a fool by this woman. she got what she wanted off you (friendship, someone to talk to, etc), what did you get? a blowjob? a ****? you didn't even get a kiss. you werent sexual enough. you should have told her that she was hot and she needs to stop being so hot or you're going to start hitting on her (all jokey of course). do you think you'd be in the friendzone if you had an attitude like that.

7. you have bad priorities. do you really want to be her friend or f*ck her in the a$$? I assume its the latter. so why act like her girlfriend. she starts telling you about boyfriends CUT HER OFF! Tell her you are not Oprah you are a man!

8. Once again i must repeat that you are GONE in this situation. If I was transformed into your body, I could do it, but it would take a lot of work. You CANNOT turn this around because you are clueless.

now you can use the tears from your eyes as lube as you masturbate and realize where you went wrong.

seriously though, i only want to help and you need tough love. noone else is gonna spell it out like that. i am doing this from a place of wanting to help you OP. Don't think I have anything personal against you because i dont.

FINALLY, let her go, work on other chicks and this time be sexual. Don't be the friend anymore, don't let a woman play you by getting what she wants (your time and friendship) and not getting what you want (we all know what that is).

Make friends with her after she has sucked your c*ck. Not before. Live by that rule.

Chucky the tree

MIN2511 wrote: »

She didn't know he fancied her, yes they flirted but i bet she wasn't expecting him to feel this way....
And even if she did, he was too slow making his move :P

OP, tell her anyways about how you feel. It's no harm...

What stopped her from getting the finger out and saying something? Women.:rolleyes: :pac:

MIN2511

Chucky the tree wrote: »

What stopped her from getting the finger out and saying something? Women.:rolleyes: :pac:

I know!

I don't understand us sometimes.... I don't understand men either!
I for one hate the drama with relationships as far as i am concerned if boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl likes boy = boy & girl see what happens and enjoy themselves...

Pity no one sees things my way