can't make friends don't no why

littlechick09

hi I'm new at this but i just can't to make friends i lost a lot of friends due to getting involved in drugs and i didn't want to go that way i work shrift work so i sometime find it hard to get to go out but the problem is i have no one to go out with anybody no what i can do and the really sad part is I'm only 20 i really don't know what to do and i hate not having a social life......... can any help me or have any ideas

Jules

moved from tLL.

Otis Driftwood

Have you tried joining sports/recreation clubs?Could be a good place to start.

ruriod

joing clubs/interest groups is a good idea. works (sometimes) for my friend fom spain who moved out to d sticks wid her partner.

basically u gotta get out and about, and throw caution to d wind. don't be put off by loads of 'unsuccessful' attempts, r d wierdos (one of whom could b me - social misfit in denial), and try not compare urself to societies movers and shakers (i have a romainian mate who arrived in dublin age 16, is now 24, and knows more people/places than i do - i'm 37). u've got d same rights as anyone else to enjoy ur life

wandatowell

OP have you tried online dating? Somebody posted at link on another thread and I found it great tbh
Its simple to use and free

www.plentyoffish.com


A very easy way of meeting/chatting to new people.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Clubs are great, not nightclubs, the other clubs :P

Where is it you live? Might help.

Porkpie

What about boards beers? You could give that a try. Never gone myself, but hear it's a good way to meet up with other people. You'll find it in the 'Sys' then 'events'. Don't think anything is planned at the moment, but check it every so often.

Plentyoffish.com can be hit and miss, because it's a free site you get alot of eejits messing around with fake profiles.

IMO it's better to just get out there and try hobby after hobby. Also I think joining a gym to meet people is a bad idea - everyone there is too busy concentrating on their exercises to talk! You have to get involved in an activity which FORCES you to interact with other people. I assume you live in Dublin? If so you're spoiled for choice. I was in a similar situation, I did an evening course, tried yoga, salsa classes (great way to get to know people!), even took a part time job! If you're looking for romance, I'd definitely recommend speed dating. Try www.getout.ie. Trick is to keep trying and trying.

littlechick09

thanxz all il try but i've try doing hobbies never seen to make friends

ruriod

don't get disheartened. i really have only one friend from before my college days and he's been a family friend for most of his life. most of my friends are from different jobs or connections through jobs. i was just thinking earlier today that it's actually getting difficult to keep track of friends, some from college, some from this job and some from another. now i've just linked into a new network and there's feckin loads of them. i've just this minute written an email to send to some great people i met in spain back in sept. on top of all this i really like to spend time on my own.

another possibility is that with this economic downturn perhaps people will find the need to link up with each other again and forget the mad race for personal material wealth, which is a bit misleading anyway as it doesn't make you really happy.

ultimately it is really up to u to get out and about and make a focused effort. meet people for a coffee, or go for a pint. don't worry about being the life and soul of the party and don't be put off by people who are different - even if u are finding it difficult to like some people perhaps you can meet minds with others who feel the same way about them - it sounds possibly really cynical or crazy, but there is a tribe in the amazon basin who's name for 'enemy' is 'one who draws others together'. to bring this to practical terms i went to a meeting of people against the bombing in gaza, and i met some really sound people there who i have kept in contact with.

just a thought!

Nuravictus

littlechick09 wrote: »

thanxz all il try but i've try doing hobbies never seen to make friends

How approachable are you, do you act friendly or stuck up. I would go to a Ladies Lounge Meet Up if I were you to be honest.

littlechick09

i'm pretty easy going i think and its came to a point that i have only one good friend who i work with and do b with outside work but i want to meet others i'm 20 i can count how many clubs i've been in one my fingers i'm kinda shy tho gone real quite

Nuravictus

littlechick09 wrote: »

i'm pretty easy going i think and its came to a point that i have only one good friend who i work with and do b with outside work but i want to meet others i'm 20 i can count how many clubs i've been in one my fingers i'm kinda shy tho gone real quite

So I presume you go quiet after some asks you questions & you don't make conversation ?

littlechick09

no but yes i just dont know what to say anymore to don't want to sounding like a looser or a loner but thats if i get out ?????? i'm stuck in a black hole

HugoIrl

I know how you feel, I moved around a bit and lost touch with alot of friends. Boards beers is wat helped me get started since I moved here 3 months ago. Main thing is to be patient, it takes a while to build up new friendships. I'm not really good talker at times either. Being nice to people you see frequently asking how their doing, etc can develop further.

Nuravictus

littlechick09 wrote: »

no but yes i just dont know what to say anymore to don't want to sounding like a looser or a loner but thats if i get out ?????? i'm stuck in a black hole

Ok clubs, the gym, dancing school are all good ways to make friends to be honest. Example I talk to random people at the gym for no real reason that to be able to do it. You probally have little self believe and believe no one wants to hear you stories.