Breaking it off with someone your not really going out with

LegacyUser

Iv recently started seeing this girl, been going on around a month now, text/call her a couple of days per week, meet up with her most weekends. Its been very casual up to now but she rang me the other night and started asking me where we are going with this. Personally im not sure, i like her but she but she just doesnt keep me up at night if you know what i mean.
I think she likes me and I really enjoy her company so I dont want to hurt her feelings, how could I end it without doing this? Or on entirely different note am i being unreasonable to want to end it in the first place.. I mean it has only been a month.

Wibbs

Just do it. Better in the long run for her and you. Dragging it out will serve little purpose.

LegacyUser

I dont want to hurt her feelings, how could I end it without doing this?

Eeee AW !!! Thats where you boys go wrong "trying to let her down gently" or "trying to not hurt her feelings"

Heres a newsflash guys!

She just wants to know where she stands, if shes asked where its going she is prepared for the truth ie:

Im just not that into you (ie: you're a stopgap/filler/ride till something else comes along)

or

I do really like you, I just want to take it slow (very rare, if lad is into girl, he wont give a f**k about slow)

So just do it, tell her Im just not that into you. Ok if you try to cushion the blow she will get confused and over analyse it .....you've got to be clear.

She will call you all sorts of bast**ds, so be prepared for that but what can you do, if you try to "fade her out" etc you will be accused of stringing her along so you are in a no win situation.

Cut and run.....................all you can do.

Me to you

The first month is "usually" full of sleepless nights when ye are talking to eachother until all hours of the morning, planning stuff to do on future dates, butterflies and nerves. Doesnt sound like you are really that into her, dont drag it out, you will end up hurting her more in the end. Just tell her that you do really like her but you just dont think theres a spark between ye! Good luck!

Liam Byrne

WHY OH WHY did she feel the need to ask this after a month ? Ye're just getting to know each other, so how can you tell ?

Answer 1: It's just a fling/bit of craic; fast-forward to 2 months' time and neither of ye will want to admit ye're feeling more serious, because the ground-rules said it was just fun

Answer 2: It's serious (although how you could tell after a month I don't know); cue potential "oh ****, what have we started ? am I too young ?", etc, questions that end up making one or other of ye freak out and ruin something that could have - potentially - worked out fine without that pressure.

BKtje

As others have said, just tell her what you're looking for and where (if anywhere) you see it going. Once you both on same page you can either end it or move on.

Answer 2: It's serious (although how you could tell after a month I don't know);

Was going out with my current girlfriend for 2 weeks before we both realised it was serious. What i'm saying is that sometimes you just know. The OP doesn't sound like this is the case with him and just needs to tell the OH where he stands imo.

LegacyUser

I came here to ask about a similar issue. The fella I've been meetin is acting like he wants to end it without saying it out right. Its upsetting me more that he isnt sayin anything clearly whichever way.

So if i were you OP I'd give it another go and see what happens. A month is so short a time and the first few meet ups are a bit clumbsy anyway.