Online dating-met up and don't feel anything

andreac

Ok, heres the story,
I got chatting to this fella online since before xmas, we had loads in common and were chatting for ages before anything flirty or anything happened. SO after christmas it started getting flirty and we seemd to be developing feelings for each other, or as much as you can without actually seeing the person.
We were so looking forward to meeting up and we finally did on saturday night, but, theres just no feelings there after we met up. Dont get me wrong hes a lovely guy and we get on well, i just dont fancy him.
Its such a pity as we both thought it was going to go somewhere, but i just dont have those feelings for him that i thought i was once we met up.

Now i had to tell him and thank god he was ok about it, said he was disappointed but suppose i was too as i thought it was going to work out.

It weird how you think you have all these feelings for someone but then when you meet up its not there. Just wondering if anyone else had similar experiences.

Cmol

It happens, its a shame, but its not the end of the world! At least you were able to end it amicably without anyones feelings being hurt, its always best to knock these things on the head before anyone gets too involed - fairplay for being upfront about it, people appreciate that

chuckles30

Sorry to hear it didn't work out, but don't give up. However one thing I've learned with online dating is don't leave it too long before meeting up - you never know until you actually meet face to face - even phone conversations are not the same as the actual meeting.

andreac

Yeah Chuckles, ill def wont leave it as long next time. I dont think you really can tell until you meet face to face, its a pity as we are prob made for each other in other ways, but if you dont fancy them you cant make yourself have feelings for someone.

missbaker

Similar thing happened me. .started chatting to a guy online but when met the spark just wasn't there!! Gotta have that spark! Im not disheartened though . .I think if i met anyone online again Id prob arrange a meeting sooner rather than later. Have to know if there is chemistry or not!!

LegacyUser

yep, same thing happened to me. knew within 5 seconds that there was nothing there. oh well......

LegacyUser

was in a similar situation a few years back, when I met up with the girl eventually didn't really feel a spark though she was quite attractive. However as we got on so well and she obviously liked me a lot I decided to meet up again and see where it led to. Kept it fairly casual at first and was careful not to go too deep, just nice dates and maybe a snog, nothing more than that.
I found the more we met the more I liked her, and in the end fell head over heels for her! Closest I've ever come to settling with one person for life, but unfortunately didn't work out that way (our marraige was meant to be next week!) .
Thing is though, if I hadn't given it a chance and let it be based on purely physical attraction at the start ignoring all the other pluses, I would have missed out on the happiest years of my life.

LegacyUser

Hi there,

Just read your post.. and it made me really sad.. only because I could really relate to getting so close to it all working out. anyways.. theres plenty more fish in the sea.. chin up.. and remember .. what doesnt kill you, makes you stronger.. onwards and upwards, her loss..
best of luck.

Sharron. x

greenteaicedtea

Online dating is like a lottery. You have to play many times before you win.

I met 3-4 people via online dating. One was nice but not interested in me, 2 were nice but I was not interested enough, and 1 date was horrible, he was critical and talked about his previous relationships.

If I'd kept going, I'd have probably met someone, but I didn't have the nerve to keep trying - I'm shy.

I have a friend who was divorced after 9 years with someone, she is gregarious & outgoing, so she said she enjoyed meeting the new people she met online.

I imagine she enjoys the discovery of meeting someone new, but I feel all kinds of anxiety and pressure if it's not a person who is low key and shy like me.