What to do?

LegacyUser

ok, i am a regular poster but have decided to look for advice anonymously today.. i am married to a lovely man, have great family, friends.. my problem is my husbands sister in law.. i don't know how to describe her so i'll use the words her cousin said to me when i first started noticing her weird behaviour ' shes a dangerous bitch, for your own sake and sanity,steer clear at all costs'. now i thought this to be a bit harsh when i heard it but took it on board at least. i remained pally with her for a long time ( i am not argumentative so would be unusual to fight with anyone) but a few different things she did i thought were very underhand and i started to keep some distance.. as its known as PASSING MYSELF.. for my husband and his brothers sake and their family.. so all ok, i went on as normal..

last year my other sister in law brought her up in conversation and said did i notice how she ignores this girl or just nods at her yet is still all over everyone else in the room- i said i did notice this and tried to comfort this girl by saying, its nothing you did and its textbook bullying so just ignore her. easier said than done, the girl was tormented for months and months over this behaviour.

in the last few weeks the 'dangerous sister in law, for want of another word' has changed tactics of sorts and now is bending over backwards for this girl.. seems ok, delighted the girl doesn't have to worry anymore about this crazy behaviour UNTIL....... i am now getting the bad treatment????????????? WTF.. now i hve very close friends and have discussed ths with them as they are all known to her and all have the same opionion as cousin above 'pass yourself, hello goodbye, have ab nothing to do with this woman, if she not in your life she cant upset it'.. now i know this is very true i am just looking for some other opinions on the matter..

sorry its so long, but i don't wnt to spend months fretting over this behaviour..
anyone any advice for me???

LegacyUser

You already said she has form for this kind of stuff and she has been known to bully others for no reason and yet you seem mighty suprised now she has started on you.....why so suprised?

I would suggest stop analysing it and stop taking it personally, its not about you, she just has problems with everyone and now its your turn.

Best thing to do is ignore her and forget about trying to work her out, sounds like a toxic personality and wasting brain space on her is just a waste of time

Ann22

Horrible situation. I girl I used to work with who wasn't liked by many did this to me. Suddenly one day started totally ignoring me, yet still sitting with me at breaktimes, even going so far as to offer sweets and stuff round the table and pass me by. This was even stranger due to the fact that none of my friends liked her in the first place, I was the one who took pity on her and went out of my way to call her when we were going on our breaks and to include her in conversation. I approached her one day and asked if I'd done anything to offend her, she coolly said she didn't know what I was talking about. This stopped when she was moved to a different area.
I understand how you feel. It's easy for people to say 'ignore' her and 'don't let her get to you'...but in this situation I think that's all you can do. You could always directly ask her what the problem is but the best bet is to just try and pretend she's invisible, she's the one with the problem. You're better off not being too pally with her anyway if she's as dangerous as others say.

Chucky the tree

Maybe it's a guy thing, but if some with the kind of reputation started to ignore me I'd be delighted. Considering you were told to steer clear at all costs I'd see it as a great bonus that she's the one doing it for me.