Crap friends situation!

unreggd

ok, so in the last 6 months I've fallen out with some friends
[following are made-up names]

"John"
Me and John were best friends in secondary school, but when he moved out for college he compl blanked me and our other best mate and would only hang out with the college guys he lived with, so we didnt talk for months and I assumed he wasnt our mate anymore

So he text me out of the blue after a few months to invite me to his 21st. I said I was workin, but i'd come down afterwards. So I end up bein sick that night & just went home and went to bed after work. and because of that he now "hates" me and said he was so angry I didnt go or apologise that he wanted to fight me at a Halloween party we were at as he thought we were still best mates, regardless of him ditchin us since leaving school


Then theres "Bill"
He left school in TY cos his gf got pregnant, and I was literally the only person from our school who stayed in contact with him, and hung around with him.
We usta go out to clubs now and again as he worked long hours.
The last night we went out his gf was gettin into a fight, and instead of talkin her down he flipped out, he was goin mad and giving out to her, like a child, but she's older than him

the next day he said she was pissed at him, as if she had no reason to be, and I said "well in fairness you shouldnt have treated her like that" and he just logged off Messenger and I havent talked to him since.

Text to invite him to my 21st but got no reply

So im in a crap place, as they all hate me as if I wronged them, when I know I didnt

and my friend "sarah" is caught in the middle. Its her 21st in 3 weeks and we're all gonna be there, so its gonna be really awkward and I'll probably feel left out. I'm also worried what crap they might start if they drink a lot

MagicMarker

Your friends are idiots.

Hang out with normal people.

unreggd

tinpower wrote: »

show me a person who goes through college with the friends they had in LC and i will show you a horse with wings
college is where ppl bcom lazy, arrogant and go their seperate ways, believe me itsbetter to be alone than in bad company

But ive been through college and didnt become a prick, as did a good few others I know

starchild

maybe ask your friend sarah can she talk to your two friends and see can all 4 of you get to sit down together and see can you sort out

AnonoBoy

You will lose friends and gain friends throughout your lifetime. Fact of life.

As you get older you will tend to lose less of them for petty reasons such as the ones you outlined - rather it will be for bigger reasons such as infidelity with your partner or non-repayment of big loans, that sort of thing.

spiderman1885

tinpower wrote: »

show me a person who goes through college with the friends they had in LC and i will show you a horse with wings
college is where ppl bcom lazy, arrogant and go their seperate ways, believe me itsbetter to be alone than in bad company

Well, all of my friends from school and I are still friends, we're in second year all of us, except the few who repeated or dropped out n what not. But we're all still friends, we all still go out at the weekend with eachother and we go out on eachothers college nites, so if you could show me that horse with wings soon that'd be great.

Oh and your friends sound like complete d!ckheads

syklops

spiderman1885 wrote: »

Well, all of my friends from school and I are still friends, we're in second year all of us, except the few who repeated or dropped out n what not. But we're all still friends, we all still go out at the weekend with eachother and we go out on eachothers college nites, so if you could show me that horse with wings soon that'd be great.

Oh and your friends sound like complete d!ckheads

Second year? So your what 20? Come back in 2 years when you have finished college, and you are still the best of friends with all your friends from school, and you all still hang out all the time, and you all get a job within walking distance of each other, and at lunch hang out in a Central Perk-clone and we will then show you that horse with wings.

Spiderman, bearing in mind that the dropout rate for most colleges is roughly 20%, that means if you have 5 friends, one of them is going to dropout before graduation. And I know you will say "That does not matter, we will still be friends", but your friend will drop out and get a job, and stop going out during the week because he has to get up early, and when you do see him, he will feel left out because you and your 3 friends will be laughing at what happened in Mrs Murphy's lecture on tuesday, where as he will want to tell you about the time he lost his stapler, and before long you will drift away from each other for the simple reason, that your not doing the same stuff any more.

Coming on here, with the wisdom of all your years, at least 2 of which you have been allowed buy a drink, smacks of naivete. Finish your degree, maybe do a masters, and then tell us your best friends with all your pals from school. We wont believe you though.

OP, Thats life. There are people I used to sit beside in the coffee shop in school everyday, every breaktime, that I have not spoken to in about 6 years. It happens.

Doctor DooM

Your friends have gone on to do other things since school ended.

It happens, you'll be amazed in 10 years time how people who were so important to you once are now hazy figures from the past.

R.D. aka MR.D

i've been through this kind of petty weirdness before. for some reason some people feel the need to throw friendships away for small reasons.

its their loss. move on with your life and i promise you, as mentioned by posters above you will forget all about them.

you don't need negativity in your life. so don't give them a second thought if they want to be like that.

LegacyUser

Do you hang out with any of your mates from the creche? Sarcasm aside, get over it. Relationships between people are temporary at best. |People change, evolve (devolve?) and grow older. Our likes and dislikes change, nothing is static; get out there and make new mates.

LegacyUser

hey, have been through the exact same as this tho prob not on as dramatic scale! friends went to college and tried to keep in contact tho looking back it always seemed to be me that was making the most effort. now i never, i repeat never see them apart from an odd time by coincidence. now at home have literally no people i would call friends and have finished college and am working in a different part of the country to my friends and it kinda seems like history repeating itself...tryin to keep in contact and arrange to meet up for a nite out but all efforts are ignored.........just afta readin this and hav realised that i must be a wile ignorant and horrible person when ppl i counted on as my friends ignore me, hadnt realised that i was but sur mayb i am, lifes a bitch

spiderman1885

syklops wrote: »

Second year? So your what 20? Come back in 2 years when you have finished college, and you are still the best of friends with all your friends from school, and you all still hang out all the time, and you all get a job within walking distance of each other, and at lunch hang out in a Central Perk-clone and we will then show you that horse with wings.

Spiderman, bearing in mind that the dropout rate for most colleges is roughly 20%, that means if you have 5 friends, one of them is going to dropout before graduation. And I know you will say "That does not matter, we will still be friends", but your friend will drop out and get a job, and stop going out during the week because he has to get up early, and when you do see him, he will feel left out because you and your 3 friends will be laughing at what happened in Mrs Murphy's lecture on tuesday, where as he will want to tell you about the time he lost his stapler, and before long you will drift away from each other for the simple reason, that your not doing the same stuff any more.

Coming on here, with the wisdom of all your years, at least 2 of which you have been allowed buy a drink, smacks of naivete. Finish your degree, maybe do a masters, and then tell us your best friends with all your pals from school. We wont believe you though.

Maybe you're right in some ways, but a few of my friends dropped out of school straight after the leaving cert, a few have gone away to different countries for college but we're still as good friends, I can't see you in anyway agreeing with me here but, maybe... just maybe we are all closer than you were with friends of yours, being all from the same area, and living in walking distance of eachother. And also, since none of my close friends are in my course I really don't think they'll care what happened in Ms Murphys lecture. So maybe a horse with one wing?

But it sounds like the OP is around the same age as me anyway, so i don't know if people grow apart that quickly. If you can fall out with someone that quickly maybe you were never really proper friends. Only my opinion, try not to devalue it because im not 25+

Firetrap

OP, if you don't mind me saying, your friends don't sound like people that anyone would like to hang around with. In my book, someone who blanks their friends isn't worth wasting any more time on. It goes to show what a low opinion they have of you. As for your second friend, he sounds like an immature ass. Having said that, perhaps you shouldn't have intervened in the quarrel. Anyway, that's neither here nor there.

At your friend's 21st, just steer clear of these people and don't get involved in any arguments. I'm sure there will be other people at the party to talk to.

As an aside, I'm yet another of these people who's lost touch with the friends I had in Leaving Cert. We all end up making our own way in life and our personalities change as we become more mature and things happen in our lives. Some people do stay friends with people they went to school with but in my experience, most school friendships do wither away.