My wife has never orgasmed during sex

LegacyUser

Hi

My wife has never orgasmed during intercourse. She has no problem cuming during oral and does so many times but when we get down to the main course she never cum's

She has also told me that she has never masterbated in her life which i find strange but i beleive her, cause any time i try to lower her hand to play with herself she pulls it away.

I may not be able to last very long during intercourse maybe 5 mins or so but it never feels like she is enjoying it to the point of when she is ready to cum.

She also does not like sex toys cause i have tried many and she hates the sight of them

I have done all i can think of. I have bought tonnes of sexy outfits for her to wear but she thinks they are seedy. I have given her lots of massage's with baby oil and tried to build her to the point of no return. But each and every time we have intercourse it is the same outcome . No orgasm for her during intercourse

Any help or tips would be great

MagicMarker

Is this a problem for her? Or just for you?

Silverfish

Um, so far throughout your post all I've seen is things you want her to do to pleasure you mostly, her playing with herself, sexy outfits.....
In fact, buying tonnes of sexy outfits would imply more that she needs them to be sexy.

Have you talked to her about it? Asked her what she would like?

Do you make her feel loved and appreciated?

LegacyUser

Its not about me.

I have tried to talk to her about never having masterbated but she just says that it does not feel right. I bought all the outfits and toys for her sake trying to get her to come out of her shell, but they did not work either.

Dont get me wrong we have a half decent love life but i just wish that i could make her enjoy intercourse more and maybe get her to cum from it.

lainypops

Men who are not already aware of this fact...please take note:

The majority of women cannot orgasm through penetration alone. Some women can yes but they are in the minority. I'm a female who knows her body very well and am very comfortable in the bedroom but I have never had an orgasm through penetration alone. I do enjoy it, particularly certain positions but when it comes to having an orgasm, oral or digital stimulation are what work for me. It's nothing to do with the man or how relaxed I am or how much I'm turned on, it's simply a physiological issue.

OP if you are unsatisfied in the bedroom you need to bring it up with your wife but be subtle about it. Find out how she feels and what she thinks could be improved. Have a romantic evening, dinner, wine etc and have a little saucy conversation. Discuss fantasies etc.

If you come home with sexy outfits and sex toys without discussing it with her, guaranteed she's just going to feel inadequate.

LegacyUser

lainypops wrote: »

Men who are not already aware of this fact...please take note:

The majority of women cannot orgasm through penetration alone. Some women can yes but they are in the minority. I'm a female who knows her body very well and am very comfortable in the bedroom but I have never had an orgasm through penetration alone. I do enjoy it, particularly certain positions but when it comes to having an orgasm, oral or digital stimulation are what work for me. It's nothing to do with the man or how relaxed I am or how much I'm turned on, it's simply a physiological issue.

OP if you are unsatisfied in the bedroom you need to bring it up with your wife but be subtle about it. Find out how she feels and what she thinks could be improved. Have a romantic evening, dinner, wine etc and have a little saucy conversation. Discuss fantasies etc.

If you come home with sexy outfits and sex toys without discussing it with her, guaranteed she's just going to feel inadequate.

Thanks.

I am satisfied with our sex life i just want to improve it for my wife

sunshinegirl

im guessing she feels uncomfortable, sex for alot of women is enjoyable and they can let go of insecurities,fear,being in control etc. But for others no matter how much they try it doesnt happen.
Maybe a few reasons for some women Sex was never talked about until the last while ie Sex and the City. So they were brought up thinking its wrong,or in so so many cases they were maybe told nothing ans so thinking,touching themselves, porn, fantasys are seedy,cheap,not normal.
For others they cannot reach orgasm because they need to be in control of situations and have not learn to let go.... it isnt a sign they dont trust you,they dont trust themselves.

MagicMarker

Unregistered wrote: »

Thanks.

I am satisfied with our sex life i just want to improve it for my wife

Again, is this a problem for her?

dory

I agree with lainypops. Penetration is great, but it just doesn't do it for a lot of us. I'm guessing this is not a problem for her. I know you'd like that "I rode her til she came" feeling you see in porn but it just doesn't always happen in real life. If you're giving her orgasms in other ways then the problem is not trust, or love, or 'letting go' ...... it's simply you know what she likes, you know what doesn't get her off so work with that. You're really wasting your time trying to change what gets someone off. I think it'd be impossible actually.

Chucky the tree

Unregistered wrote: »

Thanks.

I am satisfied with our sex life i just want to improve it for my wife

Did you ask her if she thinks it needs improving or what she thinks would be a good way to improve it? Or did you just come home one night with a load of ann sumers bags stuffed with sex toys and outfits and presume that would do the job?

LorraineL

This might be an obvious question but have you tried sex with her on top. Some women find it easier to orgasm in this position as they are stimulated by the man's pubic bone.

Piste

Has she told you she's not happy with sex and wants to be able to come during it? Cos if she's getting her kicks from other things and is enjoying sex anyway I don't see a problem.

Salome

Unregistered wrote: »

Thanks.

I am satisfied with our sex life i just want to improve it for my wife

It sounds like you're doing it for yourself - does the fact that she hasn't orgasmed make YOU feel inadequate?

Have you spoken to her about what she wants? Maybe she's happy.

Bringing toys and underwear home will definitely have the opposite effect if she hasn't asked you to get them for her.

LegacyUser

OP, your wife sounds just like me! I have never come during penetrative sex. I have never masturbated and a definitely wouldn't be gone on the idea of sex toys or daft outfits. Yet, I would consider my sex life with my OH to be good. I really enjoy sex, just don't actually come.
I was the same with an ex, but he became fixated on me having an orgasm and tbh I started to fake it because he was wrecking my head.

If your wife says she's happy, she probably is! The way you're going on, you could be unintentionally making her feel inadequate by implying that there's something wrong with her.

ladyella

the only thing I'd say is, if its not broken dont fix it.

Chances are if you oh hasnt said anything its because she doesnt have any issues. just because she doesnt orgasm during sex is no reflection at all on you. Most woman enjoy it immensely but will not orgasm through penetration alone.

Stop worrying, she's your wife! She married you... this should speak volumes

mbren

Hi OP,

Alot of women find it difficult to orgasm during intercourse.

I am a guy and in my experience (and i'm not an expert) the easiest way for a woman to orgasm during intercourse is if you go into the doggy style position, insert your penis and then get her to lie down on her tummy and close her legs. Then keep penetrating her. It is very intense for both you and her and can often lead the female orgasming.

Word of warning though, if she has a bad back, do not attempt it.

Hope you get to try it and that it works out.

Best of luck

LegacyUser

Rub her clitoris when you are inside her. That should do the trick.

It's difficult to cum with just penetration. The 'double whammy' should do the trick.

Rachel 999

Maybe you are beeen a bit to nice. Some women like to be dominated and feel used. Are you always mister nice guy:). Maybe she would like a bad boy approach;)

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi

My wife has never orgasmed during intercourse. She has no problem cuming during oral and does so many times but when we get down to the main course she never cum's

She has also told me that she has never masterbated in her life which i find strange but i beleive her, cause any time i try to lower her hand to play with herself she pulls it away.

I may not be able to last very long during intercourse maybe 5 mins or so but it never feels like she is enjoying it to the point of when she is ready to cum.

She also does not like sex toys cause i have tried many and she hates the sight of them

I have done all i can think of. I have bought tonnes of sexy outfits for her to wear but she thinks they are seedy. I have given her lots of massage's with baby oil and tried to build her to the point of no return. But each and every time we have intercourse it is the same outcome . No orgasm for her during intercourse

Any help or tips would be great