Can i save this friendship?

LegacyUser

Right guys, I'm hoping someone can give some advice here.

I was out with friends during the summer and I got chatting to this girl. We had loads in common and got on unbelievably well, like just totally clicked. I never meet anyone I have that much in common with, so was just blown away by her.

Now we were texting a bit and I was really excited that I'd just met a new best friend kinda thing, a new gig buddy and all that. And we were talking about how amazing it is to suddenly meet a new friend that you really want to be in your life and get on with so well. (I'll just point out here that I hadn't at all had any thoughts of romantic stuff or being anything more than friends with her).

So we were out drinking one night, getting on brilliantly, and of course, with a feed of pints in me, I lost all sense of, well, sense. And I made a move. A very clumsy and foolish drunken lurch, could be the only way to describe it. I was of course shot down, but being completely messy, tried to convince her of what a great idea it was, then got embarrassed and basically made it seem like that is all I was after all along and said some pretty cringy stuff.

I woke up the next day in bits just praying that she would laugh it off and everything could get back on track and I hadn't just lost what would be a great friendship. We met up the next week anyway and I apologised for acting the eejit. She said it was okay, but that we clearly shouldn't be hanging out together on our own if that was what was on my mind. She was really embarrassed and worried that she had lead me on in some way and was annoyed that after all our talk of friendship and stuff that I had tried it on with her. So she said it would be best if we didn't see eachother for a while.

Now a bit of time has passed and I have regretted it all so much cos I really want to be friends with her, but don't know how to make it better. It was really hard but I didn't contact her at all over the last few months just to let everything settle. I text her last week to wish her luck in an exam that she was doing and she did text back, but didn't ask any questions or anything.

I was thinking of asking her if she wants to meet up, but don't know what to say without her thinking that I'm just going to try it on again. Is there anyway to get this friendship back?

cantdecide

I contend that you do have stronger feelings that you are letting on (the fact that you're here asking this Q is evidence enough). Having been rejected once, I would say you should probably just get on with your life as I feel you've probably blotted your copy book with her. I hope I'm wrong.

Caoimhín

cantdecide wrote: »

I would say you should probably just get on with your life as I feel you've probably blotted your copy book with her.quote]

+1. It sucks, but its probably best to forget about it and get on with things.

partyguinness

Cringe central alright...I think you should just give it time...a few texts now and then but you cant let that go for too long...

Any chance you can get a "girlfriend" for awhile?

Totally heartless, but if she sees you with someone else she might relax more and rekindle the friendship?

Caoimhín

partyguinness wrote: »

Any chance you can get a "girlfriend" for awhile?

Totally heartless, but if she sees you with someone else she might relax more and rekindle the friendship?

Realpolitik?

Love it.

partyguinness

Yes the career in law is paying off already:)

TBH- I think its worth a shot. Or least line up a few dates. Even ask her for good venues. But you have to play it very carefully. Not for amateurs...:D

Salome

She might be a bit concerned that next time you're out together, as friends, with a skinful on board, that you might make a move again?

Unregistered

Unregistered wrote:

So we were out drinking one night, getting on brilliantly, and of course, with a feed of pints in me, I lost all sense of, well, sense. And I made a move. A very clumsy and foolish drunken lurch, could be the only way to describe it. I was of course shot down, but being completely messy, tried to convince her of what a great idea it was, then got embarrassed and basically made it seem like that is all I was after all along and said some pretty cringy stuff.

Why "of course"? Sounds like either you hit on anyone when drunk or you do have feelings for her?
Personally I've been around guys who are ok friends with people then start hitting on them and being fairly full on, way past the point of uncomfortable, when drunk - it's not something you laugh off and I'd be wanting space too if that's what happens when you go out drinking.

I'd say apologise again and move on - maybe the odd polite text/call and leave it there for a while

starchild

i think its unlikely to be saved it in the short term anyway
she sounds like she is pretty freaked out
chalk it down to experience for now

banshee_bones

Its horrible losing a friend, especially when feelings, strong ones at that, come into play. I think if you can get over feeling like this for her , your friendship stands a chance. If you dont think you can get over it maybe you should just try and keep your distance and move on and maybe then somewhere down the line if your with someone else maybe your friendship could be rekindled.