Pokerstars cloting to offload.

YULETIRED

Pokerstars Clothing to offload.


As part of the PCA package I received some pokerstars clothing, only one piece of which would I wear, it's a warm fleecy top. (it's fkin freeezing these dayz) . So I have still in the wrapping 2 t-shirts, 2 pokerstars shirts and two pokerstars baseball baps (Size XL) to give away. Tell me a funny poker related story and they are yours. If nobody comes forth with a decent story I'll give them to one the organisers of the next Charity poker event, however I'm a whore when it comes to randomn creative crap so I'd prefer to read some stories. I'll check back week. The closing date is next Thursday. (I'd give one to Stunty for his epics rants but he is too skinny to fit in these XLsizes)

btw. Looking at pokernews last night Annette 15 was in a right strop after some guy called her A 10 push with 55 in the Auzzie millions. I can't access it in here, but it was very amusing to read she refused to shake the guys hand because he called her push with the 55 and it held up , crippling her. LOL. what a child.
See ye next week.

fatguy

Back when I first started playing poker... I was in Sydney at the time and our local pub had a freeroll every night. It was a bit of a laugh and got bums on seats at the pub, so it was win-win all round. Almost everyone was cool and fun, I made lot of friends and learned a lot of basic poker stuff. But it was still a freeroll and so the standard of poker wasn't very high.

But there was one prick who came along every night and annoyed the **** out of us all. He would always complain that he folded a hand that would have won the hand, even though he only had to limp to see the flop. He berated people for playing bad cards, even when he wasn't involved in the hand.

His catchphrase was "You wouldn't do that at the World Series of Poker". e.g. "You called a raise with A4 under the gun? You wouldn't do that at the WSOP!". He would sit there with his sunglasses on and go on about how bad everyone was. I really wanted to smack him in the mouth and scream "THIS IS A LOCAL PUB FREEROLL, NOT THE WSOP WANKFACE!!!"". But I never did.

Funnily enough, even though he thought he was so good, I never saw him actually win a tournament, or come anywhere better than around 10th out of 80+. He was too bloody tight, and with everyone else playing loose, he’d be short stacked by the 4th level and slowly blinded out.

Anyway, the pub announced that the poker had been so successful they were going to start having entry fees and trying to make it into a proper poker room. As soon as they did, the difference was huge. Within about 3 months, word had spread among the poker community and the standard and quality of the games had skyrocketed. But of course the moment that they started charging money to enter, Mr I'm So Pro with the sunglasses stopped turning up…

kakak1

YULETIRED wrote: »

btw. Looking at pokernews last night Annette 15 was in a right strop after some guy called her A 10 push with 55 in the Auzzie millions. I can't access it in here, but it was very amusing to read she refused to shake the guys hand because he called her push with the 55 and it held up , crippling her. LOL. what a child.
See ye next week.

such was her strop that she obviously decided to "phone a friend" and got a 5 min penalty from the table for using her mobile. Maybe she was calling a Cab, she was gone shortly sfter in 21st

kakak1

Not so sure I want your cast offs but a true story: -

Playing in our local club Blazin Aces, Arsenal were playing the same night & scored a goal & a player was asked "who scored"

He replied "Reyes" & the player beside him said "re Raise" & proceeded to shove in his chips.

I'd like a ruling on that one, but it is a true story

Get In There

lol! I laughed at that story ^^

cuterob

true story.. i was playing in a casino one night in a very tasty 1-2 with straddle cash game.. loads of people in every hand and loads of money in preflop and this one was no exception.. the flop came 655 with two hearts and 1st to act pushed all in..everyone folded apart from one guy.. 1st to act did not realise that the guy hadn't folded and he turned over his hand kinda angrily at getting no action.. he had 66 for the flopped house.. it was swiftly pointed out that the other guy hadnt folded, so his hand had to remain revealed while the other guy could still act, your man asked could he turn over his hand now that it was only 2 of them and he could either call or fold.. everyone agreed and he turned over QJ of hearts :eek::eek: .. there was this massive awkward silence as everyone just stared at him.. most of us on the brink of laugher.. but the guy just sat there staring at the flop intently with this serious expression on his face like he had a tough decision.. i never wanted to say something so much in my life without being able to do so.. we all sat there in this weird vibe for 5 minutes.. everyone thinking the same thing.. finally the guy said "yea i have the odds" and pushed his stack in to make the call.. :eek: .. half of the table got up and left doubling up in laughter

crazy s.hit and true

Samba

cuterob wrote: »

true story.. i was playing in a casino one night in a very tasty 1-2 with straddle cash game.. loads of people in every hand and loads of money in preflop and this one was no exception.. the flop came 655 with two hearts and 1st to act pushed all in..everyone folded apart from one guy.. 1st to act did not realise that the guy hadn't folded and he turned over his hand kinda angrily at getting no action.. he had 66 for the flopped house.. it was swiftly pointed out that the other guy hadnt folded, so his hand had to remain revealed while the other guy could still act, your man asked could he turn over his hand now that it was only 2 of them and he could either call or fold.. everyone agreed and he turned over QJ of hearts :eek::eek: .. there was this massive awkward silence as everyone just stared at him.. most of us on the brink of laugher.. but the guy just sat there staring at the flop intently with this serious expression on his face like he had a tough decision.. i never wanted to say something so much in my life without being able to do so.. we all sat there in this weird vibe for 5 minutes.. everyone thinking the same thing.. finally the guy said "yea i have the odds" and pushed his stack in to make the call.. :eek: .. half of the table got up and left doubling up in laughter

crazy s.hit and true

.

Tony3004

was told this one night at a table. dunno the storys location but i imagine it was ent in a casino. Guy sitting at table playing a tournie and is complaining how bad his hands are all night. the player in the seat to his left had yet to arrive. the guy asked the dealer if it was ok if he could look at the other guys dead cards if his own cards had been folded already which they usually were so the dealer said OK

our guy went on to look at his neighbours dead cards for about 3 rounds of the table claiming that he had seen aces 3 times AK 4 times and QQ twice. shortly afterwards the missing player arrives with his seat card and says to our guy ."you are sitting in my seat push over a bit to the left " true or not i taught it was very good

Mellor

I was playing down in Killarney. And I got moved to a new table, I wasn't too happy as my first table was very soft.
So i'm sitting tight trying to figure most of the players out. Most of them are pretty quiet and weak, with too exceptions, a baldy guy from the country, who was terrible but thought he was brilliant, and a guy from Dublin in a check shirt, who was fond of talking nonsense and winding the rest up.
After a few hands, the baldy guy and the dub go at it. Was some of the strangest dialouge at a poker table.

Baldy:Come on you, shut your mouth and play.
Dub: Shut your mouth yourself ya big redneck
B:What did you say, ye fecking fool, probably never been out of dublin.
You do relise that we are in killarney, a good 5 hours outside of dublin. Bleeding thick cluchies.

At this point, anorther cluchie stands up and says he'll slap the face off Yuletired, sorry the dub. The dub just laughs at him and the rest of the table join in.

Willie, a true ambassador for the game

pgodkin

Mellor wrote: »

I was playing down in Killarney. And I got moved to a new table, I wasn't too happy as my first table was very soft.
So i'm sitting tight trying to figure most of the players out. Most of them are pretty quiet and weak, with too exceptions, a baldy guy from the country, who was terrible but thought he was brilliant, and a guy from Dublin in a check shirt, who was fond of talking nonsense and winding the rest up.
After a few hands, the baldy guy and the dub go at it. Was some of the strangest dialouge at a poker table.

Baldy:Come on you, shut your mouth and play.
Dub: Shut your mouth yourself ya big redneck
B:What did you say, ye fecking fool, probably never been out of dublin.
You do relise that we are in killarney, a good 5 hours outside of dublin. Bleeding thick cluchies.

At this point, anorther cluchie stands up and says he'll slap the face off Yuletired, sorry the dub. The dub just laughs at him and the rest of the table join in.

Willie, a true ambassador for the game

the dub in that story should win!!!!! feckin dubs cant bring them anywhere:rolleyes:

5starpool

I don't want your stuff Willie, but I thought I'd throw this in as a tale of the cloth anyhow.

In the Fitz before the end of month a couple of years back and they were organising a 1 hand blind Omaha sat as usual. Once all the players were shouted they went to the table (I was one of them). One guy came over and asked was this the sat he had his name down for? Luke told him it was and it was blind Omaha. Your man then insisted he didn't want to play as he didn't know how to play Omaha. It was explained to him that he didn't need to know how to play, just do whateveryone else was doing, but he still said "Ah I can't do that when I don't know how to play", got his money back and left.

Not a winner here, but I thought it was funny at the time anyhow. Gave me a good laugh.

singee88

dave macs one is priceless i was doubled up with that one:pac:

Ace Reporter

Tony3004 wrote: »

was told this one night at a table. dunno the storys location but i imagine it was ent in a casino. Guy sitting at table playing a tournie and is complaining how bad his hands are all night. the player in the seat to his left had yet to arrive. the guy asked the dealer if it was ok if he could look at the other guys dead cards if his own cards had been folded already which they usually were so the dealer said OK

our guy went on to look at his neighbours dead cards for about 3 rounds of the table claiming that he had seen aces 3 times AK 4 times and QQ twice. shortly afterwards the missing player arrives with his seat card and says to our guy ."you are sitting in my seat push over a bit to the left " true or not i taught it was very good

Looks familiar.
Version of this story first published by Mick McCloskey in his Poker In Ireland column November 2005, in Poker Europa magazine.

Jayminator

Ok Ok im in the Aussie Millions yesterday ok and we re like about 15 left like oh my god and I like call a push from this little skobe like dog burd with 55. Oh my god she had a face like an afghan inbred wolf hound. Anyway she tables like A10 off or some **** like that and I like kinda cripple the dirty hoe when my hand holds up ya.

Then the little filth mongrel would nt even like look at me without growling. Who the fk she think she is in all in anyways......

YULETIRED

Mellor wrote: »

I was playing down in Killarney. And I got moved to a new table, I wasn't too happy as my first table was very soft.
So i'm sitting tight trying to figure most of the players out. Most of them are pretty quiet and weak, with too exceptions, a baldy guy from the country, who was terrible but thought he was brilliant, and a guy from Dublin in a check shirt, who was fond of talking nonsense and winding the rest up.
After a few hands, the baldy guy and the dub go at it. Was some of the strangest dialouge at a poker table.

Baldy:Come on you, shut your mouth and play.
Dub: Shut your mouth yourself ya big redneck
B:What did you say, ye fecking fool, probably never been out of dublin.
You do relise that we are in killarney, a good 5 hours outside of dublin. Bleeding thick cluchies.

At this point, anorther cluchie stands up and says he'll slap the face off Yuletired, sorry the dub. The dub just laughs at him and the rest of the table join in.

Willie, a true ambassador for the game

never let the truth get in the way of a good story eh?

kakak1

Another true story (honestly)

Think it was an IPC event in City West, Neil Kelly organised a Sit n'Go of Blind Man's Bluff winner take all, probably a ticket to the ME at the time as it was €100 to play the Sn'G.

The 10 players take their seats, all appeared to know that the 2 hole cards are held exposed at your forehead where you can see everyone elses cards except your own. Well all except one player, Bob Battersby (Smurph's friend) who thought it was a regular Sn'G.

It was absolutely hilarious to see the expression on his face when 9 players have their cards on their foreheads & Bob it viewing his in the normal fashion.

He was not amused.............. :D

Goodluck2me

kakak1 wrote: »

Not so sure I want your cast offs but a true story: -

Playing in our local club Blazin Aces, Arsenal were playing the same night & scored a goal & a player was asked "who scored"

He replied "Reyes" & the player beside him said "re Raise" & proceeded to shove in his chips.

I'd like a ruling on that one, but it is a true story

I did that to Denis Reyes who used to deal in the fitz (playable hand), asked him what his surname was... not amused!

5starpool

Ace Reporter wrote: »

Looks familiar.
Version of this story first published by Mick McCloskey in his Poker In Ireland column November 2005, in Poker Europa magazine.

Some under cover exposing there Mick anonymous poster

Ste05

cuterob wrote: »

true story.. i was playing in a casino one night in a very tasty 1-2 with straddle cash game.. loads of people in every hand and loads of money in preflop and this one was no exception.. the flop came 655 with two hearts and 1st to act pushed all in..everyone folded apart from one guy.. 1st to act did not realise that the guy hadn't folded and he turned over his hand kinda angrily at getting no action.. he had 66 for the flopped house.. it was swiftly pointed out that the other guy hadnt folded, so his hand had to remain revealed while the other guy could still act, your man asked could he turn over his hand now that it was only 2 of them and he could either call or fold.. everyone agreed and he turned over QJ of hearts :eek::eek: .. there was this massive awkward silence as everyone just stared at him.. most of us on the brink of laugher.. but the guy just sat there staring at the flop intently with this serious expression on his face like he had a tough decision.. i never wanted to say something so much in my life without being able to do so.. we all sat there in this weird vibe for 5 minutes.. everyone thinking the same thing.. finally the guy said "yea i have the odds" and pushed his stack in to make the call.. :eek: .. half of the table got up and left doubling up in laughter

crazy s.hit and true

That's beautiful...

Mellor

YULETIRED wrote: »

never let the truth get in the way of a good story eh?

Its been a few months, I got the jist of it. Most of it is right, but the dialouge is there abouts.
I had the great spot of being undercover at your table

YULETIRED

Mellor wrote: »

Its been a few months, I got the jist of it. Most of it is right, but the dialouge is there abouts.
I had the great spot of being undercover at your table

well it's was more of a laff as far as I was concerned. Serves me right as I got sidetrackined into a pi$$ing competition that made me play the worst hand of cards probably ever...ssssshhhhhhhh. That fellow had some anti jackeen thang going on. I guess I can't resist the banter/nonsense (bit of a leak):(

califano

5starpool wrote: »

Your man then insisted he didn't want to play as he didn't know how to play Omaha. It was explained to him that he didn't need to know how to play, just do whateveryone else was doing, but he still said "Ah I can't do that when I don't know how to play", got his money back and left.

I know what yer man means though. I watched a hand of blind omaha one time for entry to the SE monthly(which ditpoker won) and even though you dont need to know how to play omaha i thought you needed to know what your doing turning over the cards in sequence the way they were doing it and it looked a bit conveluted to me anyway.
I wouldnt play blind ohama myself it would have to be blind holdem.

TommyGunne

I think these were both on the same night in the Jackpot, but I'm not entirely sure as they happened about 2 years ago....


Hand 1: A extremely small guy named Mick, who is a regular in the club is playing a tourney. Most of you who have played in the Jackpot will know him. He's a very nice guy. He is in seat 7 with his back to the telly, and the lanky ginger mark is sitting in seat 6 watching the TV. Mick is directly in between Mark and the TV. Some TV programme is on regarding wrestling, and at one stage, they show Mexican Midget Wrestling for a few minutes. Mark proceeds to get severely excited, and shout "Look! Midgets! Midgets! Midgets!" while pointing at the TV. Obv when Mark points at the TV, his index finger is essentially resting at Mick's forehead. The whole table, apart from Mick and Mark, can barely play poker for the next couple hours due to laughing too much!

Hand 2: Playing cash in the Jackpot, maybe later the same night.... We're playing 7 handed in a pretty manic game, Alex is dealing, Dave is pretty pissed and potting like crazy in seat 3. He somehow manages to build a pretty big stack pretty fast. There's still an empty seat in both seat 6 and seat 1. At roughly the same time, two guys walk in the door, one black, one white. Caucasian guy sits in seat 1, while the other guy sits in seat 6. They come in pretty quietly without saying a word. Dave barely notices them arriving. Neither of them were regulars at the time, and as far as I know, still aren't. Guy in seat 1 buys in for €100, and gets a black €100 chip. He looks at Dave's stack, and notices that Dave has a prodigious amount of change in his large stack from his constant stealing of any pot available. He throws his one (black) chip across to a certain Dave, and asks him could he get change. Dave takes a quick look at the chip and says, in a slight drunken drawl, and a little aggressively, but in a jesting manner: "I don't want any black ****ers near me!!!!! F***ing no-good black ****ers!" Seat 6 suddenly pops his head out, and appears in the Duke's peripherals. The remainder of the table, including the dealer, are trying their best to hold the laughter in as Dave tries to apologise in a meandering drunken way, while getting really embarassed, and failing miserably at reconciliation, while Seat 6 gets increasingly annoyed! I bit my hand so hard in that few minutes, trying not to laugh, that I drew blood! About 5 or 6 players left the table to go outside in the next few minutes simply to release the laughter!

Mellor

Winner ^^^

Or one of imo

Slash/ED

Yeah ship the Stars gear imo. Though I also liked that time years ago we played a hand blind to the turn in the Jackpot, TG, and you woke up with top two and I'd the nut straight and iirc we were semi deepish to get me unstuck for the night :pac:

Actually Theresa can surely come in here and take home the win with tales of a certain prop bet in the same club...

DrJFF

cuterob wrote: »

true story.. i was playing in a casino one night in a very tasty 1-2 with straddle cash game.. loads of people in every hand and loads of money in preflop and this one was no exception.. the flop came 655 with two hearts and 1st to act pushed all in..everyone folded apart from one guy.. 1st to act did not realise that the guy hadn't folded and he turned over his hand kinda angrily at getting no action.. he had 66 for the flopped house.. it was swiftly pointed out that the other guy hadnt folded, so his hand had to remain revealed while the other guy could still act, your man asked could he turn over his hand now that it was only 2 of them and he could either call or fold.. everyone agreed and he turned over QJ of hearts :eek::eek: .. there was this massive awkward silence as everyone just stared at him.. most of us on the brink of laugher.. but the guy just sat there staring at the flop intently with this serious expression on his face like he had a tough decision.. i never wanted to say something so much in my life without being able to do so.. we all sat there in this weird vibe for 5 minutes.. everyone thinking the same thing.. finally the guy said "yea i have the odds" and pushed his stack in to make the call.. :eek: .. half of the table got up and left doubling up in laughter

crazy s.hit and true

give this man all the loot i'm still in stiches:D

Theresalwaysone

TommyGunne wrote: »

I think these were both on the same night in the Jackpot, but I'm not entirely sure as they happened about 2 years ago....


Hand 1: A extremely small guy named Mick, who is a regular in the club is playing a tourney. Most of you who have played in the Jackpot will know him. He's a very nice guy. He is in seat 7 with his back to the telly, and the lanky ginger mark is sitting in seat 6 watching the TV. Mick is directly in between Mark and the TV. Some TV programme is on regarding wrestling, and at one stage, they show Mexican Midget Wrestling for a few minutes. Mark proceeds to get severely excited, and shout "Look! Midgets! Midgets! Midgets!" while pointing at the TV. Obv when Mark points at the TV, his index finger is essentially resting at Mick's forehead. The whole table, apart from Mick and Mark, can barely play poker for the next couple hours due to laughing too much!

Hand 2: Playing cash in the Jackpot, maybe later the same night.... We're playing 7 handed in a pretty manic game, Alex is dealing, Duke is pretty pissed and potting like crazy in seat 3. He somehow manages to build a pretty big stack pretty fast. There's still an empty seat in both seat 6 and seat 1. At roughly the same time, two guys walk in the door, one black, one white. Caucasian guy sits in seat 1, while the other guy sits in seat 6. They come in pretty quietly without saying a word. Duke barely notices them arriving. Neither of them were regulars at the time, and as far as I know, still aren't. Guy in seat 1 buys in for €100, and gets a black €100 chip. He looks at Duke's stack, and notices that Duke has a prodigious amount of change in his large stack from his constant stealing of any pot available. He throws his one (black) chip across to a certain Duke, and asks him could he get change. Duke takes a quick look at the chip and says, in a slight drunken drawl, and a little aggressively, but in a jesting manner: "I don't want any n*****s near me!!!!! F***ing no-good n*****s!" Seat 6 suddenly pops his head out, and appears in the Duke's peripherals. The remainder of the table, including the dealer, are trying their best to hold the laughter in as Duke tries to apologise in a meandering drunken way, while getting really embarassed, and failing miserably at reconciliation, while Seat 6 gets increasingly annoyed! I bit my hand so hard in that few minutes, trying not to laugh, that I drew blood! About 5 or 6 players left the table to go outside in the next few minutes simply to release the laughter!

Second Story is factually incorrect.

It was Dave, not duke.

He never said ****, he said "black ****ers".

edit: lol wow @**** not being censored.

Theresalwaysone

nah.... why bother

Conbro

No mention of John O Shea or Chubbs yet

pgodkin

Conbro wrote: »

No mention of John O Shea or Chubbs yet

Full stories please!!

Icarus152

Theresalwaysone wrote: »

He never said ****, he said "black ****ers".

edit: lol wow @**** not being censored.

Nice language.

aya14

I went to Manchester for a weekend about 3 years ago. took in a tourney in Mansion House as i'm sat at the table there's a good few regulars around me. Two in particular (1 oriental looking chap with a strong manchunian accent and a rough looking degen) were having great banter with each other between and during hans. So i'm in a hand with the rough looking guy flop comes 4K4.
He takes off his glasses and asks oriental looking man what the flop was. He replies in his deep accent really quickly(sounds like fcuking four) and the romanian dealer thinks she is being abused grabs T.D's attention as he's passing at that exact time. The oriental chap receives a ten minute time-out for essentially telling his buddy the flop.
Thats the funniest thing i've ever witnessed at a poker table.

careca

Told it before on here but it was funny at the time. Tournie in Fitz, one lad at our table orders a fry. Oriental waitress comes down with a basket of chips and when yer man says I asked for a fry, she says "french fries". Few laughs all around and yer man takes the basket of chips and carries on.

About five hands later he gets it all in against other player and loses. The dealer is counting both stacks to see if our friend is knocked out and it looks like he is, so he starts heading for the door. He is about half way there, when Joe O'Neill yells to him that he still has chips left. He gets back to the table and Joe hands him the chip basket with about two crispy chips at the bottom. He took it well to be fair.

YULETIRED

Ok, 2 NEW (unopened, ie not cast offs Dave)pokerstars T-shirts and 2 shirts and baseball caps awarded to the best stories.

Careca -> 1 t-shirt, 1 shirt, 1 baseball cap XL
Tommy Gunne -> Same as above

If ye want the stuff PM me where you play/Live etc. If not Cuterob is next in line.

El Stuntman

next time, be honest and tell them you're XXL

kakak1

just like on line poker.............rigged

YULETIRED

El Stuntman wrote: »

next time, be honest and tell them you're XXL

not anymore Stunty, I'm slimmed down a little to XL now.....1 stone off using the oft rediculed don't eat after 7 diet.

YULETIRED

kakak1 wrote: »

just like on line poker.............rigged

Ya rigged it yourself Dave, the comment 'I don't want yer cast offs' kinda leads me to believe you don't wanna win the prize.

Flushdraw

careca wrote: »

Told it before on here but it was funny at the time. Tournie in Fitz, one lad at our table orders a fry. Oriental waitress comes down with a basket of chips and when yer man says I asked for a fry, she says "french fries". Few laughs all around and yer man takes the basket of chips and carries on.

About five hands later he gets it all in against other player and loses. The dealer is counting both stacks to see if our friend is knocked out and it looks like he is, so he starts heading for the door. He is about half way there, when Joe O'Neill yells to him that he still has chips left. He gets back to the table and Joe hands him the chip basket with about two crispy chips at the bottom. He took it well to be fair.

Joe the Show is the man when it comes to things like that..That story is hillarious and i could picture every bit of it!

El Stuntman

YULETIRED wrote: »

not anymore Stunty, I'm slimmed down a little to XL now.....1 stone off using the oft rediculed don't eat after 7 diet.

want to know how you could lose another stone of ugly fat?
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....chop off your head

Boom, Boom!

YULETIRED

El Stuntman wrote: »

want to know how you could lose another stone of ugly fat?


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....chop off your head

Boom, Boom!

memories.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5110hk9W71E