Online Dating Advice ?

LegacyUser

hi guys,

was thinking of trying online dating, as an alternative to the pub scene, have heard a lot of people who have met great people on it.

Does anyone know, or can recommend what site is good for this ? There seems to be millions !

Any help appreciated

Thanks

Seraphina

i met the most amazing wonderful handsome sexy man on okcupid.com

(can you tell he's reading over my shoulder?)

i found it quite relaxed and informal, plenty of people just looking to meet new people and make friends. its free, and quite fun to use, not really serious or heavy like some other sites.

AARRRGH

From reading posts about online dating here, it seems it's fairly brutal if you're not good looking, so be careful...

Zaph

AARRRGH wrote: »

From reading posts about online dating here, it seems it's fairly brutal if you're not good looking, so be careful...

That's really not any different to some of the "meat marts" on a Saturday night, tbh.

What I would advise the OP however, is to remember that people can hide behind their computers and represent themselves as anything they like. Telling the genuine ones apart from the bullshítters may take a little while, but trust your instincts, not everyone is married with three kids and a dog, despite telling you that they're one of the most eligible men in Ireland.

plentyoffish.com is a free site I've seen recommended on Boards a few times. If you prefer to pay for the service, try anotherfriend.com or maybefriends.com

J.S. Pill

AARRRGH wrote: »

From reading posts about online dating here, it seems it's fairly brutal if you're not good looking, so be careful...

Its only brutal if you take the knockbacks too personally. Same attitude you should have in the aforementioned Saturday night meat marts.

AARRRGH

I disagree. Lots of people look bad in photos, but decent enough in real life...

Also, in the real world you have other things at your disposal, such as charm, flirting, etc.

Salome

These are my experiences of online dating:

1. Man who claimed to be seperated with 2 kids was actually married with four kids.
2. Married men who claim to be unhappy at home.
3. Men who arrange a meet with you and don't turn up.

and then, when I was about to throw in the towel....
4. A wonderful single man who was everything he said he was - we're together for nearly 2 years now.

Use your instincts, take everything they tell you with a huge pinch of salt. Unless you're wonderfully goodlooking, which I'm not, posting a photo can be brutal - but then again, you're being honest - if someone likes you, they like you for yourself.

It can be a tricky experience but sometimes, it does work out very well.

cute_cow

I met my oh 6 years ago on lavalife.com. I think you need to have an open mind about things. What I found when I used it back then, that many of the men were married or involved and looking for, as websites tend to say, "intimate encounters", i.e. sex!

However you can always be lucky and meet the man of your dreams!! You might speak to dozens of people until you find someone that may be worth dating!!

Also, the sites you tend to pay for, would IMO, have men who are serious and looking for relationships or something more serious. Unlike the free ones where every tom, dick and harry sign up and pray the find a fook buddy!

On the other side of things, I would advise some caution though. Always tell someone, anyone where you will be going etc. I know you're not a child but you can never be too careful!!

It can be a fun expereince, and as you say, a break from the old pubs & clubs scene, and the friend of a friend of a friend meetings!! Give it a go, if you try it and think its a pile of pee, at least you can say you did it!!

Best of Luck!!

cantdecide

Do some searches- the same issues recur. I've found that online dating isn't exactly the haven for non-drinkers/ pub avoiders you'd think. The interests portion of the the vast majority of the profiles I've read generally contain some variation 'having a laff with me mates in the pub' with pics as proof (I'm not a preachy non-drinker but *most enthusiastic pub-goers show little understanding/ acceptance of tee totallers bordering distrust- so you're a goal down IMO).

It's also quite hard to demonstrate that you're a 3 dimensional person on these and it is quite a cold place to be if your looks aren't average or above. Give POF a go and see how you feel. The full spectrum of reactions have been heard so see if it works for you.

*broad generalisation- don't write me a letter.

in2dblue

I think you should start with a social account on facebook and myspace
You can put them to private if you didn't wnat everyone knowing your business..
Facebook is actually very good as there is plenty of applications called Are you Interested and the like on it where you can just message people that take your interest and engage in conversation.
After a time when you feel comfortable then you can decide if you want to meet up as friends and see how it goes..
It's a relaxed way of getting to know someone without the pressures of texts and that.
Just be careful, I have been very lucky and have met up with lovely people off the two websites above and it's a great buzz to see what the person is actually like in real life.
Meet in a busy place and let someone know what you're doing and where you'll be and have fun

m'lady

After meeting a few idiots online, I finally met my oh online and he is fantastic (he is a regular on boards thats why im being nice ha ha!).

I would say not to take it serious, and if you do get talking to someone and you like them, meet them as soon as. Its very easy to share your secrets and thoughts etc to a virtual stranger, but not nice if you meet them and they are an idiot!