shy and help needed

LegacyUser

hmmmm so here it goes,

i'm extremely shy when it comes to guys i genuinely like. I have no problem doing the auld random scoring or chatting up guys successfully in clubs however when it boils down to getting a guy i genuinely like on a day to day basis I just can't seem to do it.
There is a guy in my year, with whom I am very friendly and we get on great. He is just so nice to me, caring and sweet. I'm told by boys and girls alike that "i'm really pretty" and that "any guy would be lucky to get me"....and that's all well and good blah de blah. I am doing a very good course with a definite career ahead of me but it is a long course. I have been told my others who have done the course that very often people from that class end up together with one another and I'm already seeing it amongst my friends. Anyway, back to the dilemma,this particular guy would prob be considered by most not to be amazingly hot or anything but i don't care, I just think he has such a great personality. In the last while, I have begun to wonder if he feels something between us or if he himself is aware that one day we may end up together but just not now for him. Can't go too specific in case they are lurking around here but it involved walking me somewhere, texting to make sure im ok after hearing something, smiling at me rather than to me (if that makes sense) and a few other things....only thing is these instances kind of go through phases....get loads of em one week and nothing the next.
Judging by this, do you think he just sees me as a good friend or just waiting for the right time?How do you go about stepping things up to a slightly more flirty level? all help greatly appreciated.

sigh............

minidazzler

One thing most lads, I have come across, are ****e at is Subtlety.

If I were the guy in this situation, I would prefer you to be Forward and assertive.

Don't flirt and hope he asks you out, it sounds like he is kinda flirting anyway, what you describe is similar to how I behave when around Girls I like (but think I can never have), Maybe he has resigned himself to believing in the "Leagues" and thinks you are out of his league?

Basically what I am trying to say is, stop pussyfooting around, and just ask him on a date, Don't go spewing all your feelings to him, just say "Wanna grab a beer, just me and you?" That way it isn't definitely a date, so if he doesn't feel the same way, you could just say you only wanted a drinking buddy. (This is assuming you both drink, if not choose another activity.)

As I said, BE ASSERTIVE, Take control of the situation, don't wait for it to Maybe, someday, hopefully, if your lucky, if ye are both etc.... come to you.

If the stars won't allign themselves, kick 'em to where you want em!!!

Codofwar

Must agree with mini, most of us guys wouldn't have a clue if your interested or not. Even invite him over to watch a movie any cuddle up beside him on the couch, anything really that would have the two of ye on yere own and gives you a way of getting a bit close to him.

Overheal

Males for all that we are will rarely act on such subtleties. Because we never want to run into that percentage risk that we could be reading the signals entirely the wrong way - and normally we are. Especially in School - you could have left a note in my locker and I would have asked you if you accidentaly dropped something.

Ask him out. Lunch or a Movie. Or something. Pick any setting you're comfortable with.

cantdecide

I'm no looker but I can be quite a lovable guy and I must say that in my experience, the majority of girls who ever started showing me a little warmth for no particular reason just wanted to be friends...

If I were in the guys shoes, I wouldn't necessarily think that you liked him. Be A LOT less subtle with him. Ask him- 'so, are you ever going to ask me out??'.

LegacyUser

Yea you gotta be more assertive. I was getting along great with this girl for about 3 months but obviously thought she was waaaayyy out of my league and that I hadnt a chance in hell. Would watch on nights out as guy after guy tried it on with her and I just stood back. Eventually she just asked me one night why I hadnt made a move yet or asked her out after all the signs she gave me!!!!!! Eh.....what signs???? Men dont do subtlety at all. I basically need a woman to stick her hands down my trousers before id realise she was interested!