or smarting

LegacyUser

hi, so im 23 and in a pretty long term relationship with my bf. Thing is, i have never been able to orgasm no matter what he does (sex, hand, oral). He's tried everything and it feels really good, but i find that it can start to hurt before i could orgasm. I think it is me and not him. I'm not sure what to do. The furthest ive ever gotten is feeling like im about to pee (which kinda freaks me out because i think im about to pee on him) or my legs shuddering

I think im still a bit nervous about getting pregnant even though im on the pill and he always wears a condom. Do other people feel like this.

I really love him and he's no careful never to rush or do anything if i dont feel right, and i hate the way it makes him feel because he tries to be inventive and romantic and no joy anytime.

Why is it so hard?

Kiera

That peeing feeling and shuddering means you're about 20 seconds away from an orgasm. Relax and just go with it. You wont pee on him.

Silverfish

OP, do you manage to orgasm on your own?

missbaker

Yup . .like Kiera says . .you're almost there girl!!!! Go with it and enjoy!!

BenGunn

Lose the condoms, maybe try using a sex toy on your clit while having sex. And chill out a bit, you've been going out a good while so presumably you should be reasonably comfortable with eachother

LegacyUser

BenGunn wrote: »

Lose the condoms,

Thats responsible advice!!!!

op, don't listen to this advice, if ur bf wearing a jonny helps put your mind at ease, then why fix what ain't broken

m83

BenGunn wrote: »

Lose the condoms, maybe try using a sex toy on your clit while having sex. And chill out a bit, you've been going out a good while so presumably you should be reasonably comfortable with eachother

Baaaaaaad advice. Always practice safe sex, no matter what.

LegacyUser

OP I had a similar experience with an ex. I was with a guy before him, who could make me come almost as soon as he touched me. I have since been with guys who can make me cum relatively easily.

While I was with the ex in question, I was really comfortable with him, told him everything etc. He really turned me on, and actually did get me to the stage where it is like 'peeing' (it feels like, but it's actually vaginal juices I think - loads would come out) - but I didn't particularly like this sensation as it wasn't the same to other (perfect imo) orgasms that I had before.

Anyway we tried loads of different things, I used to think that it was my own hang ups, we talked about it, we tried so many different things. As far as adventurous is concerned, I definitely had my most adventurous sexlife with this guy compared to anyone else I was with. However after we broke up, I got with someone else, and I could cum no problem.

I am now of the conclusion that it wasn't anyone's hang ups or anything - I think we just didn't 'sexually match' each other - even though I fancied him like crazy and he really turned me on so much I could burst - no matter what we tried it just wouldn't happen!

So I offer an alternative (not necessarily correct) reason - perhaps it's just not going to happen with this guy.

I know that's not an ideal thing to read, but at least you know you're not alone.

BenGunn

Unregistered wrote: »

Thats responsible advice!!!!

op, don't listen to this advice, if ur bf wearing a jonny helps put your mind at ease, then why fix what ain't broken

it is broken- she can't come from sex.
i'm not being irresponsible- she's on the pill and in a longterm relationship with the dude. condoms are crap and remove half the sensation from sex, so it's not like it makes no difference.

what helpful advice did u offer?

Zaph

BenGunn wrote: »

it is broken- she can't come from sex.
i'm not being irresponsible- she's on the pill and in a longterm relationship with the dude. condoms are crap and remove half the sensation from sex, so it's not like it makes no difference.

I would have said that this comment from the OP is kind of pertinent

orgasmless wrote: »

I think im still a bit nervous about getting pregnant even though im on the pill and he always wears a condom.

If she's nervous about getting pregnant while on the pill and using a condom, not using one isn't likely to make her relax any more, which won't really help her with her problem.

BenGunn wrote: »

what helpful advice did u offer?

This isn't a pissing contest to see who can give the best advice. Please remember that when responding to other people's posts in future.

HouseHippo

BenGunn wrote: »

it is broken- she can't come from sex.
i'm not being irresponsible- she's on the pill and in a longterm relationship with the dude. condoms are crap and remove half the sensation from sex, so it's not like it makes no difference.

what helpful advice did u offer?

I'm with my bf 5 years....I am on the pill and we lost our virginity to each other....I still use condoms.The pill can fail and just because you are faithful doesn't mean your partner is too.
Imagine cathching HIV or having an unplanned pregancy and ruining the rest of your life for an hour or 2 of pleasure. Cop on

HouseHippo

Anyway OP,
The most important thing is to relax during sex,think about how it feels not getting pregnant or anything else.The chances of the pill failing are like 0.01%. Once you use condoms you should be fine.

THe most common reason for women not having orgasms is due to stressing over body issues or their partner or getting pregnant or other things during sex. Relaxation is the most important thing.

You sound like you ahve almost reached orgasam so just let go....you wont pee on him