Devastated - he's moved abroad

LegacyUser

I just had to let out my feelings somewhere. Basically, I have been seeing a great guy for the last 3 or 4 months. When I started seeing him I knew he was planning a move to Asia, in fact, it was me who encouraged him to do it (when we were just friends) as it seemed like a great idea and I was also planning to go there. I ended up making other plans, he stuck with the Asia plan.

I was out of a long term relationship so the idea was to just have a bit of fun, as I loved his company and we got along brilliantly, but within a few weeks he told me he'd fallen in love with me and I felt the same. We spent so much time together and he knew me better than anyone else ever had.

So many times we said the same thing at the same time or finished the other's sentences. I tried not to think about the fact he was leaving, well not until last week when we found out he was leaving this Monday. We talked about our options - he was more than willing to stay together for the year but thought he would be unfair for me, having just come out of a long relationship and the fact we aren't together that long, and wouldn't see each other more than once or twice.

We pretty much agreed that the best thing was to stay in contact, remain great friends, and there would always be the potential there for something to happen when he returned. This seems like a good idea in theory but I'm dying of loneliness since he left, it's like there's a big empty space inside me.

Does this get any better? Does anyone have experience of breaking up with someone because they moved away? Did you ever get back together? Would it be better to totally forget about him and try to move on? As it is, we're still sort of 'seeing each other' - is it ridiculous to expect us to continue any sort of relationship while being allowed to be with other people (kiss/sex/whatever)? My head is all over the place.

Kevster

Hi,

I really feel for you my dear because I know how much issues of love can affect people. I will say this to you though: My brother met a girl many years ago and dated her for around 2 years thereafter. However, he then had to go live in Austria for a year and they decided to break-up but remain friends. As it turned out, when he came back home they started dating again and are now engaged.

So, I think that the remaining friends idea is best. I suspect that both of you will miss each other so much that you will effectively still be together. You should perhaps agree to talk a certain number of times per week, and for a certain amount of minutes each time. You don't want the calls to go overboard because that would put a toll on your money. Just, keep it all under control and don't count everything as being lost.

Take care,
Kevin

missbaker

Somethin similar happened to me last year but I was hte one that went away travelling. . We agreed when i left that we would stay in touch and see what happened when i got home. Stayed in touch every day for about 5 months then bout 2 or 3 timed week after that. Emails and calls did get fewer and fewer as time went on. think it just happened that way . .we were both doing our own things and were growing apart somewhat.
Came home then and met up with him again and we had both changed alot so it did nt work out between us 2nd time around. Alot can happen in a year with you and the guy but you never know. .
It doeds get easier being with out him though. . takes time. Just lkeep yourself busy i guess and good luck!!