Problems with long term partner

LegacyUser

I've been with my girlfriend for many years and lived together for much of that time. Over the past year things between us seem to be getting worse. I've tried to talk to her and ask her whats wrong and she tells me nothing.

The one thing thats getting to me is the serious lack of intimacy. When I try to hold her, kiss her and anything else she just pushes me away and makes excuses (usually silly ones).

I don't know what to do at this stage, I've thought about breaking up but don't know what to do if I will. I've put so much into this relationship, from an emotional and financial stand point and I've made some big changes to my life just to be with her.

Any advice ??

Wibbs

There's usually a reason, it's just you don't see it or refuse to see it. IMHO when a previously sexual and intimate woman starts to back off noticeably and there are no medical or life situations to explain it(new baby etc) then she is often backing off emotionally too.

As I say usually over a particular issue that may have been discussed or argued about but not resolved. Again IMHO men are more likely to think just because the argument is over that it has been resolved. So look back on arguments that consistently come up time after time and that's usually your answer as to the cause of this(if this is the problem)

The other reason could be simple boredom. Do you share thinsg together, go out together, have hobbies outside the relationship, are you intimate in other ways, not just sex, does she feel loved, does she feel excited at times?

Bottle_of_Smoke

I'd say tell her you've given breaking up some thought. If she's not going to tell you why then you're not going to get any information unless you're completely honest yourself.

She's treating you badly. Perhaps you're treating her badly in some way you don't know about but you're trying to fix it. She needs to do the same or the relationships going nowhere.

LolaDub

Have you thought about being romantic towards her without trying to get it to lead to physical contact? It might be that she feels there is no romance and sex has become a chore. Long term relationships can suffer from a lack of romance which in some cases leads to a lack of sex. I would suggest doing things just to be nice and see if she is more open to talking about the situation then.

road_2_damascus

Give her space, what age is she...could it be menopause? Women often become emmotionally detached during this time. The longer the relationship, the more chance there are of problems at some stage along the way. Get yourself a new rigout of clothes, something that you know you always looked well in, sharpen out and make an effort to look really good. Next time your out, see if you can engage in conversation with other women for a few minutes here and there. Women find it appealing that their with a wanted man, an something could re-awaken in her that will remind her of what she first saw in you when she fell for you....do not show signs of clinging dependency, I know you may feel vulnerable at this point, but try to show some independance. Be confident.