Sister

LegacyUser

I've just had a baby and now my sister is due in a few months and has asked me to help her mind with other kids and general help out but she already has 4 kids....anytime in the past I have helped her and then a few months down the line get it thrown back in my face that I dont help put enough so with this new child she has asked me to help...my question is what is enough for a sister to do? Its about 30 min drive to her house and what would be so called "doing enough"???????????

Toots

You've already got a newborn to look after, I think you'd be taking on a lot looking after her house and her kids too. Especially if she's not even going to appreciate it. Is there anyone else living nearby who could help her, like relatives or friends?

star-pants

If you have a newborn - and possibly your first child, I assume you have enough on your plate without taking on 4 children, your sister & another newborn.
You've not mentioned your sister's OH -- I assume there is one? he is entitled to paternity leave I would think, so he should be able to help somewhat. Is there noone else near her to help?

LegacyUser

Not really, my mam doesnt really help, god she hasnt with mine, she even went on hoils when my first boy got out of hosp so no one else and i really dont want to have to go over ever other day as I'll be back to work in April......

Toots

If you really don't want to go over there then don't. Your priority is your own family, and you want to make the most of your maternity leave by spending time with your kids and your new baby! Would she do the same for you?

Alicat

I think that's quite selfish of her actually You want to enjoy your new baby (especially if it's your first) before you head back to work. She probably thinks that cause she's got 4 kids, and you only have one you should automatically take up some of her responsibility :rolleyes:

I say stand your ground, spend the precious time with your new child and let her organise proper childcare for her kids. Another thread altogether, but I don't think people should have loads of kids if they can't look after them all properly. I hate it when people dump their kids on friends and relatives and expect everyone else to put themselves out. If you or your mum or dad want to watch the kids/help out, that's all well and good but no one should feel obliged to.

entropi

It seems like she is just taking advantage to me. She clearly knows what its like to be all over the place with the first newborn, yet is probably too stubborn or selfish to see it:( If i was a woman and it happened me, i would definately mention it to her that its just not gonna happen, ask her if she can remember what it was like, and judge her reaction.