Love Triangle

LegacyUser

I'm in a really complicated situation involving two guys. There's a whole story to this so please bear with me.

Guy X is someone I liked the moment I met. I did my best to get his attention and find out how he felt. One of his friends even tried to help me, he tried to get X to admit he had feelings for me through teasing. Guy X insisted I was just a friend. Neither me nor the friend were convinced. I had experienced some times where it seemed like he was trying to impress me: bragging, etc. After his friend's efforts X got very shy with me, to the point where I gave up all hope. I didn't know if he liked me or not, but I wasn't wasting any more energy on him if he wasn't going to respond.

Guy Y is another friend of X. I've known him about the same length of time. In the beginning, though I could see he was good looking, I didn't pay him much thought. He was obvious from the beginning that he liked me. He asked me out eventually, after I had given up on the first guy [he didn't know I had feelings for his friend]. I was uncomfortable making the decision, but in the end I thought: 'I can either continue to pine after one person, or I can give this guy a chance, who is nice and obviously is interested in me'.

So began my relationship of 6months. In the beginning it took some getting used to, but eventually I developed feelings for Y, and he seems to adore me. Then we went to a party, X was there and he had brought his housemate with him. My BF went away and X introduced me to his friend, who said something along the lines of 'Oooh so we finally meet! I've heard a lot about you!'. X coughed loudly, elbowed him in the ribs and blushed into his drink. It was awkward, but I wrote it off as a joke or misunderstanding.

In November my BF went away for a month, and X broke off all contact with me for that time. He's shy, I know, so I let it alone. Sure enough he started coming out with me, my BF and friends when he got back. But now my BF's attitude has changed. He's gotten really possessive. For example yesterday I didn't text him, I was busy studying and getting ready to go back to college after Christmas break. I trusted him to text me if he wanted to talk. Eventually 11pm rolls around and he starts asking me why I didn't text, what have I been doing all day, 'do you have no time for me?' - that sort of thing. I just gave up replying and he called me, so I told him I wasn't putting up with attitude like that and 'you're not bloody paralyzed, you could have contacted me if you were so worried'.

I had been putting up with all the changes, assuming it had something to do with being away so long, etc. but I have a limit.
Then, at 4am came a text from Guy X. "I love u". All I could think to write back was "What?" He texted back saying "I'm sorry. I'm on break in Tesco, my friend took my phone and wrote that to you as a joke. Sorry."

Now I'm utterly confused. Sorry about the essay, but can anyone tell me what I should do here?

4Xcut

Try and treat them both as seperate issues, as best you can. First thing first, decide whether or not you want to be with Y. As hard as it is, try not to let the message from X sway your decision(though, this is hard if not impossible).

Then, give yourself some time to get your head straight. Decide if you want to give it a shot with X. You will have to make the first move if he is shy. Though the stolen phone line is more than likely a lie.

As to the two of them being friends, put it to X that you understand his position, you like him and that it is his decision to make whether or not he wants to give it a go or not.

Results:
1)You won't have done anything wrong - clear conscience
2)You will not be in a relationship that you don't want.
3)X and Y will not ruin their friendship if they are honest with each other - which is their business.

LegacyUser

I dont know, that 4am text excuse could actually be the truth. His friend may have sent it off his phone. I have had it done on me several times! There may however be some truth that he likes you and maybe he has talked about you to work friends and that is why they sent the text to you or then again he may have had a few drinks and got a bit of dutch courage. By the way if he is sending you a text saying he loves you....id run a mile!!

LegacyUser

Yes I really am starting to re-evaluate my relationship with my BF. And that started before the strange message. I'm definately not being someone who waits on him hand-and-foot. I'm really hoping the strange behaviour will pass.
The situation with X is so frustrating. Firstly because I don't know what I want to do and secondly because if that text was honest, he's waited until now to say something. If he had done that six months ago this wouldn't be an issue.
Originally I wanted to just cut myself off from both of them. But that seems like a last resort, I don't want to push people away if I don't have to. Especially since I'm regularly in contact with them anyway.