Weddings

Betty Boo

Can anyone help having wedding in may and I have a few relations on my side that we wouldnt see or here from one day to the next my family want me to invite but I dont think I should waste my money on them. Would you invite your relations just for the sake of asking them if it was your wedding??

Gone Drinking

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=670

Weddings and Marriage forum

or

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=127

Personal issues forum

Either would probably be a better place to get an answer for this sort of question..

I don't see my relatives all that often, but yea, i would invite him.. Have they invited you to weddings?

laurak265

No i have aunties that i wouldn't invite, i have cousins i'd cross the street to avoid so yeah i have family i wouldn't invite. I just think your wedding day is an intimate day that you want to spend with your nearest and dearest. Thats my opinion and thats how i would want my day to be. Everyone is different though..talk to your parents maybe and ask them would they bother. They might say no and your sorted LOL.

BuffyBot

Why, oh why you think this is the place to ask, I have no idea.

Moved to Personal Issues.

If I wasn't having an intimate wedding, then yes.
The cost thing doesn't really come into it, guests pay for themselves with presents.
I seriously don't get on with my relatives, but I think weddings are a good opportunity to take the sting out frosty relations.
To acknowlege that even if these people aren't important to you, that they are to your parent. And that you respect that.

ogriofa

I'd get married just to NOT invite mine.
I don't hate them or anything, they're grand, but I see them every 5 years or so. Any when I do, everybodys only half arsed.

I would only invite people that I would invite to a party in my gaff.
Of that croud 1 or 2 would be cousins.

It spoilt my pals wedding. He spent most of his time shaking hands with people he didnt give a **** about. Looking over their shoulder seeing his pals having a ball.

Good luck by the way - have a great day!!

dade

well i wouldn't. i got married 3 years ago and i had a similar situation. i was told by my mother who i had to invite and she was told "no i don't have to invite anyone i don't want to. I want to be able to digest my food without barfing" that response didn't go down well, but i couldn't have given a toss.

it Even got to the point that my mother said I'll give you the money to pay for them. i told her straight out i didn't want them there during the day or at the meal. they already have an invite to come that night and they can if they wish to. no one was happier than i was when they didn't come LOL

personally i'd tell them all to feck off. its your day so your decision.

hunnymonster

I wouldn't invite anyone I didn't want there but you need to make whatever decision you can live with. For example, there is a thread on weddingsonline at the moment where one couple didn't invite an uncle that the groom didn't get on with, all hell has broken loose, and everyone from the groom's side (including his parents) are now boycotting the wedding!

helimachoptor

ogriofa wrote: »

I'd get married just to NOT invite mine.
I don't hate them or anything, they're grand, but I see them every 5 years or so. Any when I do, everybodys only half arsed.

I would only invite people that I would invite to a party in my gaff.
Of that croud 1 or 2 would be cousins.

It spoilt my pals wedding. He spent most of his time shaking hands with people he didnt give a **** about. Looking over their shoulder seeing his pals having a ball.

Good luck by the way - have a great day!!

I'm the same, have 19 aunts and uncles and about 60 or so cousins and tbh wouldnt be bothered talking to most of them.

I'd invite one aunt and uncle and their families and one cousin and that would be it.

Maybe ask them to the afters OP??

G&T

If your parent's want them there then they
should pay for them,

My in-laws and parents paid for any extra people
they wanted to invite that were not on our list.

So make your guest list,and tell them
if they want to add people they have to pay for them,
that ye have only budgeted for X amount of people.

Enjoy,

LegacyUser

I couldn't imagine wanting many of my dad's brothers and sisters at my wedding. I would be closer to my mother's side and get on with them pretty well. Might be hard to say to my dad but he'd understand.

I don't know why aunts and uncles who you don't really know, aren;t close to or get on with actually accept the invite.

My parents invited a table of friends of theirs to weddings of my brother and sister - it meant that they had people to socialise with.

While I am all for the "it's your day, do what you like" attitude, maybe asking them, not for the sake of it, but for the sake of your parents might help the day run better for them.... and yes, you could ask them to donate to it.

MagicMarker

Was at my brothers wedding a couple of months back, there wasn't a single member there from my dad's side of the family, including my dad.

You decide who you want at your wedding.

LegacyUser

Hi.

I got married in November.

I had these conversations with my parents... Tough one.
My view is that it is your wedding, so you should invite who you want.
But, family may be very important to one or both of your parents, so it may be nice of you to make a concession.

My Dad was pushing me to invite his brothers and sisters (in a nice way!) and I agreed, but he didn't push them to go. He just knew it would cause a rift in his family. I invited 1 pair of cousins, as we get on well, and I didn't invite the rest. Just 1 Aunt on my mother's side was invited, as it is a different family setup.

So it's different for everyone, but I found that I didn't mind them there that much, but was happy to not invite a fair few of them!

Best of luck!

Blazer

My cousins have had a few weddings and I wouldn't be invited to the full lot..why? because most of them I wouldn't have seen in years and probably wouldn't even recognize them.
Was I upset? not a chance..I understand weddings are expensive and people need to cut costs anyway they can.
I got the evening invitations and went to a few of them but wasn't overly pushed about it.
I can never understand these weddings where every tom,dick and harry is invited. Load of rubbish and too expensive in this day and age.

jessbeth

I wouldn't, why should you pay for all of them. If you're parents and family want them invited them ask your parents to pay for their meals. That would be a compromise.

Lillylilly

Your wedding day should be a day filled with love... how can that be if your relatives barely know you or your partner?? In my opinion, you should only invite people who you know have true love and good wishes for you both- people who exist in your daily life!