Dating

LegacyUser

Hi,

This is a hard one to describe but I'll give it a bash. I'm a guy, and I've been on a few dates in the last 1-2 months. It hasn't always been me who has instigated these, sometimes the girls, yet they always seem to go down the same way.

The topic of conversation just never seems to reach that point that is exciting and interesting. I'm unsure whether this is down to us just not clicking, or whether it's just my personality. While I've always been always to have a laugh with guys- banterful conversation, I find it much harder to do with girls and the conversation seems to stagnate too frequently. There have been some girls in the past that I have clicked with but they are few and far between.

What I guess I'm asking is- does a date have to be exciting for women or can they just be content with getting to know the other person? Also could it possibly be that maybe I just have to keep trying and another girl I click with will come along eventually? I've never been one to jump into relationships but I've had a few where I have, and have had to pull out due to not fancying them anymore. The signs were there in the first place but I ignored them and went out with these girls anyway. Are my standards possibly just too high, or am I possibly just not a relationship type person, and should just bide my time?

Thanks in advance.

Salome

I think you're being too hard on yourself - why don't you try a date that doesn't involve too much chatting at first - movies, bowling or another activity - then afterwards you can go for a drink and chat about that? If the conversation isn't flowing, maybe you're dating people you don't have much in common with?

You mention that they instigate the date, not you - maybe it's time YOU chose your date? You might find if you've chosen wisely, you're dating someone who has something in common with you...

boarddotie

Unregistered wrote: »

The topic of conversation just never seems to reach that point that is exciting and interesting. I'm unsure whether this is down to us just not clicking, or whether it's just my personality. While I've always been always to have a laugh with guys- banterful conversation, I find it much harder to do with girls and the conversation seems to stagnate too frequently. There have been some girls in the past that I have clicked with but they are few and far between.

What I guess I'm asking is- does a date have to be exciting for women or can they just be content with getting to know the other person? Also could it possibly be that maybe I just have to keep trying and another girl I click with will come along eventually? I've never been one to jump into relationships but I've had a few where I have, and have had to pull out due to not fancying them anymore. The signs were there in the first place but I ignored them and went out with these girls anyway. Are my standards possibly just too high, or am I possibly just not a relationship type person, and should just bide my time?

Thanks in advance.

HI OP

This sounds so much like me, im a girl version.

I get on with most girls so well, like always have fun and laughs whether they are my friends are not. But with guys I just seem to find it tougher. The same banter isnt there.

I too thought it was me...still do...but theres nothinh you can do. If theres no excitng chats theres nothing you can do to change that. And like you I definitely have my standards set high, my friends tell me that all the time. But I dont see that as a bad thing. I see a boyfriend/partner like a friend but more. So like I wouldnt hang around with a friend who I didnt have exciting chats with, why would I choose a partner who I couldnt have banter and debate and excitement with.

Dont settle, another girl will come along. And I hope she does because Im working off the same map as you buddy!

Monkey61

It sounds like you are just meeting the wrong girls for you. If you click with someone it is easy and if you don't you don't.

As long as you don't have a repellent personality, then it isn't your fault.

Of course you aren't going to click with millions of girls - that's the point. It wouldn't be any fun if you did. When the right one comes along, you will be swept off your feet.

LegacyUser

Have you gone on a few dates or just the one date?

On the first date, people are going to be somewhat cagey really. You get on so well with your mates because you know them so well. This is not going to be the case with a girl you are going out on a date with.

Give it a few more dates and see what happens.

There is a fair chance though that you just do not get on with these girls.

LegacyUser

I was on a date last week - got on fine but there wasn't much flow in the conversation - it really just wasn't that exciting. It was interesting enough but didn't have me wishing for more.

I think I judge most dates against one I was with a few years back - we had a fair bit in common, but most importantly, we had a similar sense of humour.... we laughed a lot, so much so that I ended up going out with her again the next night! And then we saw each other for a year or so... In fact, I would judge my relationships on it too.

For me, I know within three (two really) dates whether or not we could work as a couple and it's more often that I know that it just won't work.

I've done the "I'll see how it goes" thing where I see the girl for 4 or 5 weeks thinking it might get more interesting but invariably it never does - again, at the start I think, "yeah, she's cute... there's stuff here that I like" but when out for dinner or just hanging out, the cmmunication just isn't there.

I met a girl from a club I am a member of and while she's not my usual type physically but she has me thinking about her a lot as she's quite funny and makes me laugh. Sense of humour is a must.

Salome

Then ask the girl who makes you laugh out - doesn't matter that she's not your type physically. You might find that she really is your type! Just do it!

muboop1

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi,


What I guess I'm asking is- does a date have to be exciting for women or can they just be content with getting to know the other person? Also could it possibly be that maybe I just have to keep trying and another girl I click with will come along eventually? I've never been one to jump into relationships but I've had a few where I have, and have had to pull out due to not fancying them anymore. The signs were there in the first place but I ignored them and went out with these girls anyway. Are my standards possibly just too high, or am I possibly just not a relationship type person, and should just bide my time?

Thanks in advance.

mate look, you sound like you are a good guy, you had girl and done decent thing of pulling out before,... your prob as you say is you just havent
"clicked" well grand so!

go on dates, and keep going on dates wiht differnt girls until you find one who you just click wiht!

mabey even go on a second date with girl if you like them enough!(and dont clcik straight away)

end of day looks etc only go so sar!

you need to enjoy spending time wiht any girl you get properly involved wiht else well whats the point... you wont be enjoying it like!


give everything a shot and if it fails its no fault of your own you gave it a shot!


ya wanna knwo my little theory? (please girls dont flame me... mabey works in advance... i dunno!)

whenever you look for a girl you cant find one, but whenever you dont want want or just stop looking they will appear!

they are the eternal pain in ass!

now i dont mean stop looking as in closing yourself down to the option or oppourtunity, i simply mean stop actively pursuing them! if your goal is to get a girfriend then you likely will settle! however if your just want to enjoy yourself and are open to letting someone into your life who you cna share this enjoyment wiht and enhance it then i genuinely believe you will find the right person! :pac: