Kids say the darndest things...

useful_contacts

Me and my sister, and her 3 year old daughter Jill were in town the other week, Jill LOVES wally the robot. Anyway we were walking past easons and a woman passed us in a wheelchair and Jill yells out "LOOK MAMMY ITS WALLY THE ROBOT"

My sister went scarlet, luckily the woman laughed and said "aw bless her" My sister was so mortified, espically when the woman in the wheelchair gave Jill a sweet and Jill yells out "Mammy wally the robot likes me"

So how have the little ones in your life embarassed you?

galwayrush

"Daddy, you're belly is getting fat"

LEIN

just don't have any of the little fookers!

galwayrush

Our next door neighbour have a dog called Blackie.
when one of my daughters was about 3, we were in town and a black couple were walking towards us when my daughter started shouting " hey blackie, look daddy, blackie, hiya blackie" Horrible looks from the black couple until this black dog came running towards us and my daughter started patting it.:D

Shacklebolt

Mentioned this on another thread earlier funnily enough.. When I was a young child my mother and I went shopping in Castlebar and I saw a black man. This was a long time before there was any major immigration into Ireland and so I pointed at him and proclaimed loudly 'Hes black!'.. My mother was mortified.

tony1kenobi

My neice said "look at the clown" when we passed a kid with a ginger afro...to be fair the kid looked like sideshow bob.

useful_contacts

tony1kenobi wrote: »

My neice said "look at the clown" when we passed a kid with a ginger afro...to be fair the kid looked like sideshow bob.

i love that:D

Trinity

My brother has downs syndrome and when he was younger, there were not many coloured people in ireland. Anyway he was sick and mam had to call a doctor and a coloured doctor came out to the house my brother was in bed and he says to my mam, is that a witch doctor?

My 8 year old is coming out with some beauties lately i dont know where he is getting them.

He told a taxi man over the christmas that i stole his life savings.

He overheard me telling my sister about a row with myself and my OH (i accused him of going to a lapdancing club:o) and everyday since he has brought up lapdancing in some form or other but a few days after the row there was a kids programme on with jamelia singing superstar and the baby was watching and my 8 year old starts giving out to me saying thats abuse making him watch that look at her shaking her arse and boobies, hes going to end up like his Dad going to lap dancing clubs :eek:

An oldish taxi man was joking with him one day saying i want to marry your mammy and he says well she hasnt got a boyfriend cos she got dumped yesterday.

Hes christened my rabbit sweepy macsweeperson. I love it :P

star-pants

When I was 4 or something, and my parents had brought us to Easter mass, and they were going through the whole 'Jesus died' etc.. apparently I started roaring crying going 'hes DEAD! he's DEAD! waaaaaaa' and my mother trying to ssshh me and I kept going 'but but HES DEAD!' -- she had to leave with me lol

My brother when he was around 3 picked up one of the phrases off Henry Street and kept saying 'treee for a pow-ind' much to my mother's mortification.
My sister called rice krispies Rice Pis-pees

My godson (8) went into a doctor with his mother and the doctor was Asian I think, he was talking (in an accent to her). when he got home his grandmother asked how he got on and he says 'I dunno he was speaking Spanish or something but Mammy understood him'

Victor

I was getting dressed in my bedroom when my then 3-year old niece burst in "Do you have a willy?".

Many years later, her sister at breakfast "Mummy, whats an orgasm?"

Both questions completely avoided.

LEIN

Victor wrote: »

I was getting dressed in my bedroom when my then 3-year old niece burst in "Do you have a willy?"

Lol id say that was awkward!

oeb

One day, when I went to collect my two year old from his moms place, he happily informed me (In front of the relevant people, two friends of his moms). Denise has sexy boobies. Breeda has sexy legs. I really have to start watching what I say around him =/

pixiestix

about 2 years ago i brought my son (he was 1) to the zoo and we went to see the gorrilas. he thought they were great, eating their own poo and doing the OOOGGH AAAGH OOGH OOGH thing they do and going loopy, he was copying them all the way round the zoo and all the way home, after a couple of weeks he seemed to forget about it until we got on a bus to go on one of our random little day trip / adventures...we were on the bus for a while, i had him in his buggy and we were sitting in the little buggy spot, so the bus stopped at a stop and a man got on with his buggy and parked his self and the buggy beside us, and my little lad peeped his head out to see who was beside us, and the mans daughter popped her head out too... they were black and my son looked at her, and smiled the biggest happy smile and started (at the top of his lungs) going OOOGH AAAGH OOGH OOGH AAAAAGH and pounding his chest....

i was looking at the ground to swallow me and my super red face right up

pixiestix

another one from my lovely munchkin...we moved to a new house a couple of months ago and there is a lovely boxer dog here called Baxter, now my little lad is only 3 years old so his speech aint as good as most folks, we went shopping to Cornelscourt Dunnes Stores a few weeks ago and there was a couple outside enjoying their coffee and the sun and they had 2 boxer dogs with them, so James (my little lad) points to them and starts shouting "look mammy, twoooooo basturds!!" needless to say my face turned puce and i just smiled weakly and tried to correct the awkward situation with "yes James, two Baxters"...all the while the couple are looking at me as if i had grown horns and turned into "davel momma"



oopsy :P

SoupyNorman

Seemingly, when I was quite young my parents were going to the Phoenix Park market on the 39 with yours truly. Bus was packed and an old lady got on, along with her old lady musk!


We were sitting on the seats just behind the driver so she got nice'n'close, remember the bus was packed! Little oul me decided to ask my mother in quite a loud innocent voice..

"Mammy, whats that smell?" Queue silent laughter and embarrassed parents....I was still happy-go-lucky as ever...



so the story goes.

pixiestix

another from the legend that is James...Christmas just gone was our 1st Christmas with our new little daughter Rory, who is James's little sister, and he loves her (sometimes he loves her too much and tries to pop her head off) but myself and Rory (the little lump is only 3 monts old now) went to get James a Christmas present from Rory so it would be all special and lovely, we went into a little shop and found a Phoenix bird that flies when you wind it up, and i thought this would be perfect as James's middle name is Phoenix, so he opened it on Christmas morning and loved it and squeezed Rory with all the appreciation he could muster, we then went to my parents for Christmas dinner, my Dad asked James what he got for Christmas, and James was listing off all his Thomas the Tank stuff and his new bike and his helmet and his new penis...my Dad looked at me in shock and horror and some other emotions that i didnt recognise...i looked at the floor and thought "who got James a penis???" then it dawned on me....his little sister got him a penis



(phoenix)........i will tell this story to them when they are teenagers and scar them for life, sometimes parenthood had perks hehehehe

XxlauraxX

From the other thread

Mam and her friend were walking down the road with my brother and he turns around and say "My mams boobs have eyes" !

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Victor wrote: »

I was getting dressed in my bedroom when my then 3-year old niece burst in "Do you have a willy?".

The responce is "yes (or no as applicable), now fvck off before I call Pedobear."

Squishy*

This kid that I babysit came downstairs one night to tell me he had a headache in his tummy :P

craiginireland

When my child was younger i brought him to the doctor, He was obsessed with Teletubbies at the time and this well, rather big lady came in in a big horrible yellow tracksuit.

He starts screaming with excitement in front of the full waiting room. "look daddy its la la" Cue me dying of embarassment..

Also we were watching a football match and he heard the fans sing feed the yak (everton player) and he will score. A few days later in Dunnes he saw a nigerian and the loveable rascal started screaming "feed the yak feed the yak" Being three however meant it sounded like "feed the black feed the black....." I didnt hang around. Got some fierce dodgy looks

GAAman

My little one is 7, when she was 5 she had a particularly bad cough and to keep her mind off it so she wouldnt get upset i used to wind her up a little bit askin where she bought such a lovely cough, what shop it was etc

So anyway we are in town after the cinema and she coughs, i start asking her the usual and added "i know where you buy them i am gonna get one myself" and she stops walking, looks me deadpan in the eyes and said "Daddy, on the contrary you cant actually buy a cough" and turns around to walk again.

I had to pick my jaw up off the floor, and two cops standing at the gpo nearly fell with the laughter

jigglywoo

When I was 5 I spent a few weeks in Crumlin Hospital.

Afterwards, one day I was with my mam talking to our blind nieghbour in the street. I was telling her how good all the doctors and nurses were and suggested to her that maybe they could give her new eyes:o

marti101

I remember years ago when my son was about 2 or 3 we were on the bus and he starst singing.It wasnt an innocent song no he starts singing sex on the beach it was out at the time.I was mortified anyway this old women says to him sing another song.Thinking hed sing something like a nursery rhyme no he starts singing Chefs Suck on my chocolate salty balls out of Southpark.I got off 2 stops early.:o

Loopy

I was staying over with a friend with my then 4 yr old little girl, that morning while getting dressed I put my finger through the bum part of the tights so there was a little hole in them.

Anyway, on the way home we stopped off to meet friends for dinner. I was at the top of the queue holding a tray of dinners and drinks when my little sweetheart daughter proceeded to pull my skirt up (right up), I very authoratively said keep doing that and your in serious trouble, she continued and said very loudly to a very amused queue 'But Mammy I just want to see your Hole':eek:

phasers

God I feckin hate kids

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

phasers wrote: »

God I feckin hate kids

Don't eat them then...

magnumlady

When my son was younger he announced to his class that I was the 'biggest tosser in the village'....
he meant at tossing pancakes:o

Trinity

My kid (8) just said to my OH in the car today, you ruined your life getting together with her, you would have been better off living your individual life :eek:

Little basteward :P


Just remembered a few months ago he said to me I get no attention around here since that baby was born i might as well get a girlfriend and move in with her, (followed by a long pause) til she throws me out then i'll be back Ma.