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In desperate need of help

  • 16-01-2009 11:36am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    So I'm in my early 20's, healthy, happy, not overweight, not stressed etc. etc. but for the past 18 months I have had no sex drive. I'm in a long term relationship and my OH can't put up with this any longer. I don't really no what else to say about it. It's tearing me up inside. I want to have a healthy relationship with my OH and only for the fact that I love him with every fibre of my being I would have left him because he deserves better. I think I feel that our relationship is already over at this point since the sex has been almost nonexistent for so long and that I'll just get hurt if I put more effort into solving the issue, and as for getting my sex drive back, will that's something I don't have any clue how to do.


Comments

  • #2
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    Hi OP,
    Why dont you talk to your GP? Loss of libido can happen for a variety of reasons, some of them medical - your GP will be able to check you out and see if there are any issues that need to be dealt with.


  • #3
    haven27
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 58 ✭✭haven27


    Are you on the pill? if so that might be a factor, my sex drive disappeared practically overnight about a year ago so have just come off my pill to see if it makes any difference. If you are then again it might be worth seeing your GP and asking for them to change it to a different one.


  • #4
    Poloman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 208 ✭✭Poloman


    Thats weird that happened my ex at your age. We had no sex life.. no touching.. nothing.

    From her side she had no sex drive and just didnt want it.

    I had a sex drive. From my side it tore me apart mentally. I started thinking she didnt fancy me and I was getting paranoid wondering was she getting satisfied by someone else. Why was she being liek this. She wouldnt talk to me about it. There must have been something I had done to her to piss her off. There has to be someone else..... Honestly it ended in me mentally breaking down and enevitably ended in us breaking up.

    I have met her since our break up and we were able to talk about it and she says she got her sex drive back. She didnt say how or anything. As for getting your sex drive back all I can say is try to think of something that turns you on.. there has to be something. Explore your body maybe.. I dont know. All i know is that it does cause mental stress in a couple and dont fear you are not the first person this has happened to. Put fantasies in your mind and then close your eyes, lie back and think of it. I think you have to try even if you arent getting satisfied try and realise that your OH needs their satisfaction or else they will feel unwanted and start resenting you.

    I really have to say though that you need to sit with your OH and explain everything as much as you can about feelings etc. Young men need sex in a relationship. i know a guy whose girlfriend let him sleep with other girls as she lost her sex drive and she let him do this as she didnt want to break up with him. That was her idea. I think thats a bad move though. I really wish you both the best of luck


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