Kids ask the strangest things

Local-womanizer

I have a neice and Nephew,aged around 7 I think.

They both asked me today,

If your willy was a carrot would you pee carrot juice?

and if you had cabbages for ears would you be able to hear?

What weird and wonderful things have you heard younguns come out with?

Tom Trojan

"Are we there yet?"

Professey Chin

Why are you putting that ther..........................actually thats just too sick:eek:

Sharpshooter

My brothers son asked him , " When will my willy fit into my hand like your's does daddy?"
" There's no space left in your's "

/ Bearing in mind , my nephew was 3 and had been taken to the toilet by my brother , as they were out after attending a christening, usual thing back to the nearest establishment, and my bro wouldn't let him go into the toilets on his own.

Insect Overlord

Teaching practice, was asked by several kids if my teaching partner and I were married.
The kids were also shocked when they found out I was 19 at the time, not 40.

ahmed89

was asked by my nephew who is 6 months old "how would you do a girl":eek:




just kiddin:D

iPlop

My daughter asked me to "roars" at the telly, and like a fcukin' eijit im standin' there givin' out fcuk like a lunatic to the telly until my wife said "no she want's you to pause it" :eek:

ahmed89

Septic Leper wrote: »

My daughter asked me to "roars" at the telly, and like a fcukin' eijit im standin' there givin' out fcuk like a lunatic to the telly until my wife said "no she want's you to pause it" :eek:

nice one:rolleyes:

sassa

Septic Leper wrote: »

My daughter asked me to "roars" at the telly, and like a fcukin' eijit im standin' there givin' out fcuk like a lunatic to the telly until my wife said "no she want's you to pause it" :eek:

Thats brilliant!!!:D

tiger325

hahaha that was a good one

SV

My little cousin (3 and a half years old) seen his step father getting out of the shower and remarked "you have a little willy like mine"

:D

Turncoat

Sitting at a family dinner couple of years back and my 4 year niece asked my gf "what's a condom?":eek:

My nephew once overheard this joke!
"why did the two homosexuals go into the phone box?" ..."to give each other a ring"

He then goes up to tem and asks. "but how? there's is only one telephone in there????"

OldGoat

Driving through the heavy traffic when a car cut in front of me causing me to stomp the break pedal. After a moment I heard the small voice of my 4 year old daughter..."Was that another one of those 'FúckinBashtard' cars dad?":o

funk-you

I have an Aunt who's a bit of a manforaface, my three year old nephew asked her was she a man or a woman at my brothers wedding. Myself and my sister had to slam the door in her face with the laughter.

-Funk

NewFrockTuesday

My daughter asked me to "roars" at the telly, and like a fcukin' eijit im standin' there givin' out fcuk like a lunatic to the telly until my wife said "no she want's you to pause it"

Thats brilliant!


A friend of mines daughter wanted to know why the Easter Bunny brings eggs seeing as bunnies dont lay eggs.

Scarily logical at 4 years old.

minidazzler

funk-you wrote: »

I have an Aunt who's a bit of a manforaface, my three year old nephew asked her was she a man or a woman at my brothers wedding. Myself and my sister had to slam the door in her face with the laughter.

-Funk

I hope you got him a good present or at least a toy for that!!! He deserves it!!!

marcsignal

was in the park one day with a girl i know and her 4 year old son. these 2 dogs started fcuking close to where we were sitting, and the young fella asked me what they were doing. I told him one dog was injured and the other one was carrying it to the vet, he seemed happy enough with that answer

Sean Quagmire

Septic Leper wrote: »

My daughter asked me to "roars" at the telly, and like a fcukin' eijit im standin' there givin' out fcuk like a lunatic to the telly until my wife said "no she want's you to pause it" :eek:

I don't get it?!

Sean Quagmire

Sean Quagmire wrote: »

I don't get it?!

try saying "pause" with a silent "P"

giddybootz

my mate's little brothers (3 and 5 years) call fizzy drinks either 'minty' or 'spicey'....they know something is happening in their mouths but just have the wrong words!!

years ago myself and my toddler brother were on the bus to town (DCC) when he gets all bored so starts shouting 'take out you funny teeth auntie' over & over while our aunt just sits there getting redder and redder trying to deny she has a mouthful of false teeth!!!

pljudge321

Whilst minding my three year old cousin who has a 3 month old brother.

Me: "Does your little brother cry much?"

Him: "Only when he wants my mommy's boobs"


Coolest Kid ever.

m3llowship

I was getting ready to go out for a drink one night. My little cousin was over, she was 4 at the time. It was all a bit of a laugh, she was telling me what to wear and putting gel in my hair, it was all very cute.

When I was changing into my shirt she asked me "why do you have boobies"


.........needless to say I was gutted......... funny though

ordinary_story

marcsignal wrote: »

was in the park one day with a girl i know and her 4 year old son. these 2 dogs started fcuking close to where we were sitting, and the young fella asked me what they were doing. I told him one dog was injured and the other one was carrying it to the vet, he seemed happy enough with that answer

I can see that one coming back to bite you in the ass someday.

ITDept

I used to work for the dark powers at Lidl. I was covering in the Togher (Cork) store on a very busy day. The whole place was heaving, and then momentarily went silent just in time for a little girl near the checkouts to shout to her mother, "Do you need any more Mummy nappies?" holding up a box of sanitary towels. Lots of laughter, one purple-faced Mummy.

Lobelia Overhill

My aunt took her then 4 year old daughter to a public loo, you know how those places echo like feck, well the kid starts asking really loudly. "Are you going to do a poo poo now mammy?"

r3nu4l

When I was a kid, I had an Aunt and Uncle who were dating at the time and always all over each other. My Mam disapproved of their behaviour "in front of the children" and would often discuss this with my Dad. Ov course, my little ears heard everything...including one particular phrase.

So next time the whole family met up for Christmas at my Granny's house I studied my Aunt and Uncle carefully and watched them while she sat on his knees snogging the face off him and then after a minute announced to the room:

'Mam it doesn't make me want to be sick just to look at them, why does it make you want to be sick?'

Needless to say my Mam was absolutely mortified, my Uncle and Aunt were annoyed and my other Aunts and Uncles thought it was hilarious! I was left sitting there wondering what the feck was going on

Smart Bug

Maddie asked me....


No fukkit, not worth the ban.

admiralofthefleet

a mate of mine was going into town on the luas just before xmas and there was a little girl and her mum sitting opposite him, just as the tram gets to james the little girl says to her mum ' mammy thats where you get the toilet roll isnt it'.

smileykey

My niece, who was about four at the time, couldn't pronounce her "r"s preperly and so called a fork and ****. We were out for sunday dinner once and she asked the waitress for a "**** 'n knife." She had no idea why we all laughed or why the waitress walked away when we all laughed

funk-you

funk-you wrote: »

I have an Aunt who's a bit of a manforaface, my three year old nephew asked her was she a man or a woman at my brothers wedding. Myself and my sister had to slam the door in her face with the laughter.

-Funk

hahahaha

Brilliant.

sgross75

I was in the shower and my 21/2 y.o daughter walked looked at me and ran down the passage shouting 'mommy !! daddy has got a funny tail!'

.

XxlauraxX

Mam and her friend were walking down the road with my brother and he turns around and say "My mams boobs have eyes" !!!:D

Thomas_S_Hunterson

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/golf/theopen/2322206/Padraig-Harrington-triumph-breached-barrier.html

Boom_Bap

My nephew is 18 months and says the odd word, kind of say what you see.
Anyways, my missus is breastfeeding our little fella one day, and my nephew toddles into the room and shouts DIDDY while pointing at my OH's feeding apparatus

chiliconparmi

XxlauraxX wrote: »

Mam and her friend were walking down the road with my brother and he turns around to say "My mams boobs have eyes" !!!:D

Hahahaha

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sgross75 wrote: »

I was in the shower and my 21/2 y.o daughter walked looked at me and ran down the passage shouting 'mommy !! daddy has got a funny tail!'

You need to let your 21 or 22 year old daughter out more tbh.

And lock the bathroom door for jaysis sake.

sgross75

:rolleyes:Two and a half year old....sorry did not know that you could read metric that is why i wrote it as a fraction.......in metric now for you then, 2.5 year old.

_blank_

sgross75 wrote: »

:rolleyes:Two and a half year old....sorry did not know that you could read metric that is why i wrote it as a fraction.......in metric now for you then, 2.5 year old.

Jesus dude.

Chill.

sgross75

Des wrote: »

Jesus dude.

Chill.

friday and all.... hectic week......have a good one mate!:)

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sgross75 wrote: »

friday and all.... hectic week......have a good one mate!:)